Harsh Reality
I don't own PLL
Aria's POV
I was currently laying in my bed with a glass in my right hand and a large bottle of Vodka in my left. With everything going on lately I have reached my breaking point. I have had enough of the crying, the worry for my relationship, the constant wonder if my boyfriend still loved me, the unknown truth on how things were really going between Ezra and Maggie as they were hundreds of miles away, not to mention the kiss with Wes. This is what led me to sneaking into the Hasting house at eleven o'clock at night to steal the alcohol bottle that rests in my left hand.
It was a brand new bottle when I snagged it. It was now over a fourth of the way gone nearing halfway.
I was supposed to have dinner with Ezra tonight kind of like our first date night in since he's been back that would be uninterrupted by any unwanted phone calls and visitors like our last dinner. Unfortunately this wasn't the case. Just as we were sitting down his phone rang and even though my gaze told him not to answer it I held my tongue and watched as he got up from the couch to pick up the phone. To add the cherry on top of him going against what we said about no phones, it was Wes who was on the phone saying he and that rude bitch he has for a mother had already gotten into a fight since his return back home. It was very evident that he wouldn't be on the phone for just a short amount of time so I simply got up, grabbed my bag and told him I had to head out. I didn't look back as I walked out and he didn't come after me to say wait.
So here I am lying in my bed getting drunk for the first time in my life. I had always sworn I would never get drunk. I had no problem having a drink from time to time whether that is with the girls alone in the barn, at a party, or simply a bottle of wine with Ezra shared over dinner. But never drunk. And yet even with that promise I had made to myself I find myself slurring my words and seeing funny shapes. I guess you could blame it on the fact that I had consumed such strong liquor while having an empty stomach or the reality on I just didn't give a damn right now about anything so frankly I didn't care if I got drunk off my ass.
At some point I had disregarded the clear glass I had been drinking out of and turned to drinking directly out of the bottle. As I sit here I wonder why Ezra never even called or texted me after I walked out of the apartment, not one single word. The alcohol must have boosted something in me because without thinking twice I got up from my bed—more like stumbled out of it, grabbed my phone and began my journey to apartment 3B.
Sometime later I had managed to arrive at the correct apartment complex and get up to the third floor. I lean against the door to help support my wobbly body and lift my right hand up to hit the door with an open palm. The door abruptly opens causing me to lose my balance and fall down in the doorway.
"Oh my god, are you okay?" Ezra's worried voice flows through my ears and his arms surround my body to pull me up into a standing position.
"I'm fine." I slur slightly.
"Are you… Aria are you drunk?" He asks bewildered.
"Probably," I shrug my shoulders and push past him walking, stumbling, into the apartment.
"Aria what is going on here, it is 2 in the morning and you are drunk?"
I lean against the back of the black leather in hopes of not falling on my drunken ass again. Ezra shuts the door hesitantly then walks toward me with a look on his face that suggests he was about to speak up. I however speak up first.
Ezra's POV
I stare at Aria in shock as I realize my seventeen year old girlfriend is so drunk she can barely stand up straight.
"Why didn't you call me?" Aria slurs while being slumped against my couch where we have shared a vast amount of memories.
"I—what?" I run my hand through my hair tiredly.
"Tonight we said no interruption, that tonight was going to be solely about us and yet you answered the phone and let me just walk out of here without so much as once telling me to stop. Am I not enough for you anymore?"
"Of course you are, Aria! You will always be more than enough for me. Why would you think something like that?" I walk over to her but she pushes me back.
"You have a son, an actual son Ezra. Not to mention there is Maggie." I could sense the jealously in her voice.
"What does Maggie have to do with anything? You have nothing to worry about when it comes to her." I ask gently.
Aria scoffs and crosses her arms. "Please what doesn't she have to do with anything? She is your age, your high school sweetheart, you two share a kid together. What isn't there for me to worry about?"
"So what if all that is true? I love you Aria, I want to live a life with you!"
"You mean to tell me that even after finding out about Malcolm and the fact that he and Maggie are moving to Rosewood permanently that you still want to marry me one day and have kids together when you already have one on your own?" Her eyes glimmered in the dull lighting in my apartment.
"Of course I still want all those things. Aria, where is this coming from?" I slowly inch closer to her.
"It's coming from me! You, you need to stop moving you're wobbling all around." Aria slurs and blinks her eyes repeatedly.
"You need to lie down." I reach out to grab her hand to help direct her.
Aria shoved my chest and pushed herself away from the couch. "No. I am tired of all of this."
My heart breaks as I watch the tears stream quickly down her face. "Aria talk to me honey." I say softly.
"What is there to talk about? You can have so much better than me and in a matter of a week the woman who can give you everything you want will live just down the street from you."
"But I don't want her, Aria you have to understand that." I try to convince her but she obviously wasn't having any of it.
"You may be saying that now but when the time comes you two will start spending all this time together as you both watch Malcolm and you'll forget about me. Hell you may even kiss her and remember just how much you loved her before your mother paid her to leave you."
"Why would I do any of that? It's over with her Aria and it has been for many years." I try to reason with her but she just shakes her head. I could tell the alcohol was messing with her head and she wasn't thinking rationally at all.
"This has all gone too far."
Aria whimpers with more and more tears flowing while she tries to make her way to the door but she is unable to keep her balance and struggles greatly in walking the short distance.
"Whoa Aria wait." I run to her side and grasp her tiny waist in my hands to prevent her from falling as well as leaving. "You have got to lie down."
"No, I want to go. I need to go. I can't be here anymore." Aria tries to fight me but I can't let her leave.
I turn her around to face me and look me in the eye. "Honey you can't go anywhere you are too drunk to leave let alone be by yourself right now." I wipe her tears hoping she would come down and stop fighting me.
"I should go."
"Please don't, why do you want to leave so badly?" I whisper heartbroken.
"Because so much has happened and I don't want to deal with it right now. I just wanted one night without feeling or worry and right now everything that I didn't want is happening."
"Come here."
I walk her over to my bed and sit her down on the side of the bed. I kneel down in front of her to look her in the eye. I place my left hand over her hands that rest together in her lap where as my right hand ran through her silky smooth hair then cupped her face. She looked so small and vulnerable as I stare into her eyes. I took a deep breath to will myself to say what I was about to do; a part of me felt like I was taking advantage of the situation at hand by coaxing her to tell me her private thoughts and feeling when I knew she wouldn't ever tell me while she was sober.
"Please honey tell me what is really going on here, tell me what you have been keeping bottled up for all this time?" My voice was comforting and my hands caressed her hands and face.
"I don't feel like the special, beautiful, sexy, confident woman I used to. I feel like I am just some teenager who doesn't stand a chance compared to Maggie. And at times…" She slurs some of her words here and there but overall she was in a crying fit so I had to strain my ears to understand her.
"At times what honey?"
"At times I feel as if you don't love me anymore." Aria confesses causing my heart to literally break in two and my jaw to drop.
"I love you so much Aria why on earth would you think otherwise?" I ask once I regained my composure.
"Because we never talk anymore, you never hold me in your arms, you don't kiss me anymore you just kiss my forehead if that, we don't say 'goodnight I love you' every night over the phone." Aria takes a deep breath and wipes some of her tears before continuing. "We haven't made love in well over three months; you haven't touched me intimately in so long I can't even tell you. I just miss what we used to be."
"Baby I am so sorry. I love you so much and I promise I will fix us and get us back to the place you want."
I kiss her hands and cheeks repeatedly as I try to keep my own tears at bay. I never knew she felt like this and it wasn't like she was lying or exaggerating. If anything she was speaking the pure truth due to the alcohol in her system; alcohol makes people speak their mind and nothing but the flat out truth.
"Why don't you lay back and get comfortable while I warm up something for you to eat, you need to get some food in your system to absorb the alcohol."
Aria looks at me for a minute; I could tell she was debating in her head so I gave her a reassuring smile.
"Okay," her soft angelic voice rings through my ears resulting in a smile tugging on my lips.
"Do you want some clothes to change into for the night?" I gesture to her skinny jeans and constructed shirt.
"Yes please."
I smiled internally as I see her calming down and seemingly more relaxed now that she had gotten everything off her chest. I stand up straight and move over to the dresser.
"Shirt and pants?" I ask her.
"Just shirt," Aria responds.
I grab her favorite shirt of mine from the drawer in hope of it making her smile. I hand her the shirt then turn to walk towards the kitchen.
"You're not going to help me change clothes?"
I turn my head to look her over the shoulder. "Not tonight, you've had too much to drink it would feel like I was taking advantage if I undressed you without you being fully aware." With that I turn back and prepare making her some of the left over Chinese food.
Five short minutes later I return to the bed with a plate of food and a big glass of water, I hand them to Aria and tell her to eat up before sliding into bed. She wastes no time in enjoying the delicious food and drinking the whole glass of water. When she was done I set the dirty dishes on my nightstand, turn off my bedside lamp and we both slide down into laying positions in the bed. I wrap my arms tightly around Aria and kiss the top of her head many times.
"I love you very much Baby, please never forget this. I promise I will make you happy and feel special, more so than I have prior."
"That's all I could ever ask." She mutters softly as she fell to sleep.
Despite it nearing 3 in the morning I wasn't about to fall asleep as easily as Aria. The things she said tonight really hit me in the gut. She thinks I don't love her. She thinks she isn't good enough. She doesn't feel special. It all kept playing in my head on a loop.
There was one thing that followed my thoughts though, something very important.
I will fight every second it takes in order to please her and make her feel like the most beautiful, loved, and cherished woman in the world. I will make my girlfriend fall head over heels in the amount of romantic gestures and hoops I am about to take part in just so I can bring a smile to that flawless face.
Tonight brought me to the harsh reality of what our relationship had come to.
Please review and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I updated Forever Loved so I hope you all check that out and review as well. I have a three shot I will be writing shortly as well as working on Gonna Get Caught. Oh and I also have a chapter ready for Forever Loved so I have many updates coming. :)
