With his legs crossed, Dr. Reid sat anxiously in the passenger's seat next to his older brother. He started running his finger along the margin of his shoe.
"Are you gonna tell Hotch?" He worried out loud. Though the possible answers were restricted to a positive or a negative, Reid knew one was not particularly in his favor. Morgan decided to break the kid's script and replied with a question.
"Are you gonna go see a doctor?" Typical way to dodge a question, but Reid knew better than to point the obvious out to an already angry Morgan.
"I already did!" Reid blurted out, feeling indignant at the whole situation. He'd had enough of everyone asking him about his mental state indirectly. "How was your day, Reid?" "Late night, huh?" and on and on…
"I promise. I get my results at the end of the week" He answered more calmly, acknowledging Morgan's stern look.
"What other symptoms have you been having?" was the following question, to which Reid scowled before giving a direct answer. If he, a very knowledgeable person of medicine, couldn't figure it out, what made Morgan think he could?, Reid thought. "The migraines, dizziness, and sensitivity to sunlight" he repeated verbatim what he had told the doctor.
"That's it? Are you getting enough sleep?" Morgan asked, glancing his direction as they approached a stop sign. He had one hand on the wheel and another resting by his side. It made him seem fairly relaxed, but Reid still felt that this was all circling a certain subject.
"I'm NOT having nightmares, Morgan! the sensitivity to light wears my eyes out, which makes me extremely tired and unable to sleep at night, which ONLY MAKES MY MIGRAINES WORSE. If you want to know something just ask me directly for once." Reid snapped.
Thck thck
"Ow…" Reid replied, immediately moving his hand towards him from Morgan's finger flicks. He knew he was walking a thin line when Morgan gave him the clearest "cut it out" warning.
He stared at the night lights around them, noticing how even the small shop signs made his head spin a little. He wished there could be a city wide blackout, even though he also knew that the likelihood of a blackout that big for a city this size was nearly 3 in 4,000.
"I guess I'm just annoyed everyone's been asking how I'm doing. I don't need all of you to look after me. If I even mention something extremely small, everyone starts making such a big deal about it, like the nightmares all over again." He finally voiced his annoyance carefully. It was true. Part of him, which he had no intention of revealing, actually was glad that Hotch and Morgan were always looking out for him. The kid was completely alone with no close relatives and a Schizophrenic mother. He felt cared for, which he liked, but he didn't need the entire department supervising him.
"I told Prentiss briefly." he mumbled, anticipating the follow up question.
Thinking carefully about his reply, Morgan finally spoke up, "We all miss her, and are willing to talk through it with you, but you need to be willing to do the same. The nightmare situation, that's in the past, but do you remember why I had to get Hotch involved? What was the biggest take away from your talk with him?" He asked firmly.
Reid looked out the window, not willing to look at Morgan while he thought back to that night.
Silence.
"Reid…" Morgan began, growing impatient.
"I've never asked anyone to care! Something's wrong with me and I want answers, not people pestering me every minute like… like I'm a child!" He said bluntly. He was almost certain he was due for another migraine soon, and for once, he only hoped that it would hit him sooner.
"You don't have to ask us to care for you because that's what you do you for those you love. We care about you, kid. Even though you're not one, but you sure act like one" he chuckled and glanced over at him once again.
"Now, back to my question… what did you…"
"I don't know, and quite honestly, I don't care" he said, cutting him off.
Morgan knew where Reid was coming from, but he wouldn't tolerate the kid's outburst. He understood how debilitating it must be to feel like there's a Schizophrenic timebomb ticking and not being able to do anything about it, but his goal was to make the young doctor realize he didn't have to go through anything alone, just as Hotch had done not so long ago.
Reid flinched as he felt Morgan's firm hand pressing on his shoulder. He knew this was the last warning before he would pull the car over, which made him even more thankful they were the only ones in the car. With a team of profilers, he figured it doesn't take long to decipher what subtle gestures mean in context. If it wasn't Morgan's shoulder grab it was Hotch's whispered countdown or Rossi's quick ear pinch that, no matter where they happened to be, made him shut up right away. He figured that was the whole point of these subtle warnings, to be used anytime and anywhere.
"Listen to me, Reid. I want answers just as much as you do! And had you told anyone else in the team, they would too! And that's the point that Hotch was trying to drive home that night when you found yourself over his knee. We're not punishing you for what you're going through, but for thinking you have to go through it alone." He said, emphasizing the last part.
Reid kept his eyes on the road, but suddenly felt overwhelmed with thoughts of guilt and exhaustion.
"So are we heading to your place or.." he spoke up before clearing his throat.
"Uh-huh" Morgan replied, speeding up significantly, even though the young doctor, and particularly the young doctor's behind, was in no rush to get there.
"And then guess what? We're going to discuss a whole range of things, but especially about keeping important things from people who care about you, because apparently Hotch didn't do that good of a job the first time." He said, stopping there to give Reid plenty to think about until tomorrow.
Not knowing how to reply, Reid began fidgeting with his shoe again, but for the first time in a while, he had something other than his migraines to keep his high functioning mind occupied.
And as much as he hated it, he found it oddly comforting. At least for now.
