He thought he was dreaming. He had never had a relationship with religion before, never understood it when people would pass by shrines and stop, bow their body low to their waist and clap. He didn't know what they did when they got down on their knees to pray. Many questions continued to prompt him: what a God was, what you were supposed to say to him, what you should do to get him to notice you, help you. Years before he remembered asking Iruka-sensei, what happens after we die, curious and alert when Iruka told him that he didn't know, that he was too young to be asking these kind of questions. Naruto didn't know what that meant however, because what did he mean too young? He was only twelve.

Sasuke too, then, was only twelve.

It was their first mission. Naruto couldn't imagine what that could mean or what'd happen to him now after the fact. He tried not to think about the consequences. Other missions went smoothly, so simple he could miss seeing it, picking up litter besides the river or taking care of baby farm animals. They were the easiest of things, and one of Konoha's few secret blessings – moments where her ninja didn't have to be ninja. Nothing went wrong. Nobody got hurt. But most importantly, nobody died. He was sure of this fact. He knew that this mission, out of all the missions he'd ever have, would become his first and greatest failure.

So as Naruto watched as they lowered Sasuke's casket into his grave he could only look on listlessly. He watched as Sakura keened with mourning while the lump tightened in his throat. The sounds were choking him until he couldn't breathe, Sakura was crying so he finally had to turn his face away. To hear her over Sasuke's body was utterly heart-wrenching, because he was too powerless to help her, and he was too powerless to save him. His hands couldn't stop shaking.

Only a week ago Sasuke was alive, swerving in out of nowhere in time to catch Haku and send him flying. Sasuke caught on to his Sharingan and gave him a flash of red and his tell-tale smirk. He was his hero. Naruto thought everything, this icy hell was finally over, and he and Sasuke could bond over this with a clap of a hand – that they were now friends. He wasn't even that jealous that the bastard stole the spotlight; he believed they won. But maybe there was still a debt to pay… because he saw one too many needles in his neck, something he realized a little too late. Naruto tried to ignore it but Sasuke's eyes were losing color and his heat was disappearing. He fell and Naruto dimly remembered to catch him, and he was light.

The box dropped in with a thud. Usually bodies were burned and their ashes saved in decorated jars for safe-keeping, he knew people kept the remains of their ancestors. But Sasuke had no one left to keep him safe, no family just like him, so what would be the point? Ashes were for the descended and Sasuke was twelve; Naruto was too embarrassed to speak up for the remains himself. What would he do with them anyway? Where would he put him? It's not like they were friends.

The dirt piled in slowly while Kakashi-sensei comforted Sakura in her crying. His sensei laid a hand on Sakura's pink lowered head and he swallowed thickly. Naruto couldn't do that for her, not after this, Naruto couldn't help her. He could only try his best to keep his head straight. If he didn't stare for too long then maybe one day, she would forgive him.

"He's still out there. My brother…"

"I promised myself I'd stay alive till I killed him-"

(Don't.)

"Don't let your dream die, Naruto."

Naruto sat up with a start. Those were the last words he said. Naruto felt like kicking himself because it wasn't fair, those were his last words when they didn't need to be his last, when Naruto should've been stronger, dodged where Haku struck, and win. But instead he just laid there needing to be saved by Sasuke, and now Sasuke's gone. Sasuke's dream was gone.

These were the worst parts… the nightmares. Or rather the lack of nightmares, the lack of dreams, the lack of anything but the quiet night air and the sound of a few crickets hanging around his apartment. It was too quiet to do anything but think, and Naruto's eyes stayed open for hours. Kakashi-sensei had given them a weeks leave with a firm grip of his shoulder – you need to let him go, he ordered. He sent him home and took Sakura for escort, which Naruto didn't make protest. After their time was up Jii-chan gave them their verdict, they needed to recover and compose themselves ready for their incoming mission: because he was to inform them that they were going to receive a new team member. A new boy. Sakura never flinched. Naruto didn't say anything even though he wanted to, he wanted to punch the old man in his wrinkly, brown face. The Hokage and his sensei and his other sensei, all of them, gave him the time to meekly nod his agreement and never begin to speak his name; they waited patiently for him to remember his "duty".

Naruto didn't know what to do with his hands sometimes, he was so pissed.

He stared at the ceiling and breathed, tried to relax himself. He tried to 'compose'. Kakashi said that with enough time and practice it would be easier, and soon they would finally forget. Sasuke would become a distant memory. Naruto thought Kakashi was wrong. He didn't think anything could stop his mind from falling.

When morning came, it was only four forty and the sun wasn't out yet. Naruto forced himself out of his futon, and though it was cold he didn't allow himself to return back to the blankets. He didn't deserve it. Sasuke was dead and Sakura was hurt and all that he felt was cold and empty, only the floor wicking the icy feeling from his toes. Numb, but not enough.

He decided that it was time he train.

...

Training at five in the Leaf Village was the best time to avoid the stares. The stares that only seemed to get worse after they came back empty one person. He couldn't blame them and he let it get worse, Naruto knew that to hide away would only make him appear even more guilty. He took to the shadows and didn't talk to Sakura, for the last few days he had holed himself up in his room. Bright orange was too bright for him and he was tired, when Sakura shyly came to visit he awkwardly joked and turned her away. He felt a little (a lot) like Sasuke.

Was this why-

Naruto never wanted to become a bastard. Naruto didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

When he finally reached the grounds the air was chilly. The fog that settled over the trees was thick to the point of eating it, swallowing it, heavy on his shoulders and dampening instantly his clothes and hair. It was cold. It felt like a numbing feeling seeping into his skin slowly, sinking his mood down to his gut while his nose inflamed at the sheer thickness. He began to sneeze and his eyes burned and Naruto thought, that maybe after all this the weather at least was fitting. Shitty. Appropriate.

It was also a little too much like their last battle, he didn't know much about gods but this was just uncanny.

Rather than focusing on that tidbit for that would lead him on a path he didn't want to go on, Naruto trained by walking on trees. Even though he already knew how to do that, he did them again. Naruto didn't know what else he should train. He remembered when he needed to get stronger than Sasuke, their trees had slash marks testament to how badly he wanted to be better. More than the ashes he should've taken a piece of that tree home; unfortunately, that would be more accurate to their memory. He was embarrassed, he didn't know what it was, those deep cuts being the only distant marks left of his friend in the world… or that even there, even so close to his end Naruto fought with him, wanted to beat him. Wanted to hate him.

They had such a stupid, stupid rivalry.

Sasuke wasn't around anymore for training though. Tree-climbing was boring, training felt like work. He walked on his feet and then he walked on his hands and then back on his feet, until the soles of his shoes burned from the concentrated energy, and morning lifted and he could see past the fog once more. Light filtered through the boughs of the trees but Naruto didn't pay any attention when a scoff sounded in the background. He was just hearing things. Naruto continued to march in silence.

"Idiot."

"I know." The genin pushed off the tree with ease and started over. He stared morosely down at his feet, as scratched and blistered as they were they pissed him off. "I swear, I'm really sorry."

"You can hear me?" the voice was incredulous.

"It was my fault and it was supposed to be me, Sasuke. I really, really, really hate you now."

"All the thanks I get. Hey, dumbass, can you hear me?"

"What was I supposed to tell Sakura? Oh, yeah, I was resting on my knees and couldn't see the attack coming in a circle of freaking ice mirrors. The hero who said he was going to be Hokage but needed to be saved..."

"Look, could you shut up and just answer my question?"

"I can't avoid her forever. You made this harder than it had to be, you know! I didn't ask for this!"

"Ugh, Naruto!"

He whipped his head. "What!"

"What?"

"What?"

"So you can hear me."

"W-what?"

"Loser. Over here." Naruto's head turned and he blinked rapidly when the white shined in his eyes. He was blinded by it, making him see in different colors. It was kaleidoscope in rainbow until drifting back to white, some kind of silvery gray film that shimmered when the light touched it so. Like a halo. Blue eyes followed up a distinct outline, from thick geta to the trim of a yukata, held together by a sash all in white. The stance was familiar and only a little taller, with trademark bangs and spiky hair and that smug, smarmy, asshole look.

The one wearing the yukata was Sasuke.

He pointed an accusing finger. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Ghost Sasuke, Naruto figured, must be a figment of his imagination, he examined his nails as if they could get dirty anyway and simply shrugged. "How am I supposed to know, I just appeared."

He even talked. Sounded exactly like him. Stiffy Uchiha boredom like Naruto was the dirt underneath his ghost-nails, nothing new after death, just a pain in the neck as usual. Iruka's always told him he had a good imagination but this was just insane.

"You're dead, are you crazy, go back to being dead."

"I'm obviously a ghost, idiot."

His imagination had the nerve. "Arghh!" Naruto threw a kunai at him and watched when Sasuke failed to dodge. The Uchiha stood wide-eyed and shocked as the knife cleared through and the mist in his body never blipped. "I hate ghosts, get away from me!"

"Is this how you repay me saving your life?"

"I didn't ask you to save me!"

"I don't care whether you asked, would you- Stop! I'm dead. It's not going to work." Sasuke crossed his arms and stiffly held his ground, allowing Naruto the opportunity to pelt him with all the weapons he had. The Uzumaki began to run out and resorted to extremes, in the process of pulling a piece explosion tag the ghost called enough.

"Naruto-"

"You're not real, you're not real, you're so not real," he muttered attaching the paper to his last kunai. He rolled the hilt until the seal stuck fast and spun the weapon on his fingers. Naruto looked at him.

Ghost Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "I dare you."

"Shut up."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. Try me."

"You're dead."

"Duh, dipshit. That's what I've been telling you."

"You're dead but you're here."

"Yes?"

"Why are you here?" Naruto ran a hand through his hair and clenched until it burned. He needed to grasp something solid because Sasuke was simply standing there, a thin wisp before him like the smoke after one of his clones popped, something that would disappear in a second. He was going crazy and he could feel it grow, the panic crept up his skin leaving a trail of goosebumps. Sasuke will leave again after coming back to mess with him, leave twice and he suspected – no, Naruto knew – he was going to fall for it every single time.

Screw that. "Why don't you just, go?"

The ghost asked slowly. "…you want me to go?"

"I get it, I messed up. Look, I'm really sorry, Sasuke, and if I was a smarter maybe you wouldn't-"

"Are you an idiot?"

His throat strangled a sound.

"I mean, no, don't answer that. Stop, Naruto. Stop." Something in the way Sasuke sounded, high with desperation and knowing drawn across his face, a single ghostly step towards him that he seized up. His heart hammered when a wispy hand reached out to him. Naruto backed away from the thing, from those eyes that looked at him with slow understanding and he hated this, Naruto hated him.

Why did he have to sound so real?

He kept him from getting closer. "Just get away from me, okay! I don't know if it's the fox or something wrong with me but I'm not gonna fall for it, you can't make me! This isn't funny, so why don't you just poof away like you did before..." Sasuke faltered in face and Naruto considered that a win. He's quiet too, maybe he's finally regaining control of his mind. "I'm gonna close my eyes and count to three, and when I open them you're not gonna be there."

"Naruto…"

He pointed a finger. "And shut up too! Don't say anything! Dead people can't talk!"

He shut his eyes. Scrunched them tight as if the ethereal glow coming from dream!Sasuke wouldn't stab past his lids and shine a soft yellow warmth before his pupils. Imagination never went this far into detail, where the light coming from Sasuke tickled his skin, tingling him delightfully and bursting little warm butterflies in his chest. It felt like it did when Iruka took him out to eat and with a smile asked after himself. Like Naruto was sure it would if – should Sasuke had given him the time of his day. His heart fluttered, hammering in tight little punches and a painful grin stretched across his face. He couldn't help himself. Something was going right. A trickle of happiness because this was the first time since feeling this warm, this good, and the single skip in his heart beat like hope.

Sasuke had to ruin it.

"I'm not going anywhere."

His heart soared, the traitor.

"Shut up!" he could hear the ghost sigh.

Naruto slapped his palms over his eyes. There. The light emitting from Sasuke couldn't go through thick skin which left his sight blanketed in darkness. He flitted his lashes beneath his hands because they were getting slippery dammit!, and blinking was hard under here, where he was furiously thinking. About Sasuke, stupid, stupid Sasuke, who just had to make himself known like the arrogant attention-stealer he was, because he couldn't just die invisible and forgettable and appropriately quiet. He couldn't just die like everybody else. No; he had to be his friend and he just had to save him, to be exactly who Haku predicted: someone loyal, worthy, important. Somebody precious.

And then he had the nerve to come back.

That asshole.

"I'm counting starting now. One," he announced.

Hindsight sucked ass, really. Nothing was fair. Sasuke was gone and even when he was alive Naruto didn't notice. He couldn't appreciate him until after he was dead and his body sealed forever, couldn't appreciate him until his brain had beat itself in the head to imagine Sasuke as a freaking ghost from the past to haunt him. Of all things. Maybe it's because he's too much of a knucklehead, that's gotta be the reason, to realize that Sasuke was a friend until the boy died to save his ass. Maybe his eyes weren't good, to realize his dead, "imaginary friend" here was precious only after he was stolen. By then, however, realizing would have been too late.

'Deadlast.'

The Uzumaki frowned to himself. The bigger problem was – this had happened before. Back when Mizuki tricked him and told him the truth about himself, about being the Jinchuuriki. Naruto always thought Iruka-sensei was super annoying and too loud, always asking for weird stuff like doing his homework and washing the laundry. He pictured him like a pesky bird outside his window that wouldn't shut up and made him wake up in the morning for super dumb reasons. He didn't hate his teacher but he didn't particularly like him either; he just didn't care to notice. Iruka-sensei took the windmill shruiken to his back for him and the wound left him in critical care, just a smidge too close to his spinal column they said. Naruto thought he was going to die, and he would've been too late to learn that his teacher wasn't at all the old stickler he thought he was.

Naruto promised himself something like that wasn't ever going to happen again.

His hands clenched and the heels of his palms dug into his eyes. I hate you, he thought to himself. "Two."

"Look, Naruto."

"No! Now I'm gonna have to count all over from the beginning, this time going all the way up to ten. You'll see! You'll be gone after that!"

"Naruto…" his words were closer, soft with something unnamable.

He was so scared of ghosts.

"One. Two," Naruto spoke brattishly loud and indignant. If his voice cracked, well, technically no one else was here to hear him. "On the count of three. Two and a half. Two and three-quarters..."

"I'm sorry."

The blond peeked between his fingers and his friend was right in front of him. "No, you're not. Uh, two and a something."

He could see the minute wrinkles in white, how Ghost Sasuke twitched. "Seven-eighths, idiot."

"That! And you're not even sorry, so shut up."

Sasuke shrugged coolly. "You're right. I'm not sorry for saving you. But if I knew you'd be this freaked I wouldn't have died in the first place."

"Well, I wish you didn't!"

"Well, I'm sorry I couldn't have been stronger!"

"You should be!"

"I am!"

Argh! This was why he always hated him so much. He poked through air, or what was supposed to be his teammate's chest. "No one asked you to be a fucking hero, Sasuke. Turning into some stupid nice-guy by the end; I didn't ask you. You should have stayed in your emo corner and kept your head out of other people's business."

Uchiha Sasuke was never someone who'd take things quietly. His hands didn't exist but he shoved back. Didn't accomplish anything though. "This was our fight, you dumbass. If we're going to be talking about heroes butting in you should know that Haku was mine, you "helped" where you weren't needed."

"You were going to die!"

"So were you!"

Yelling at a figment of his imagination wasn't working. Arguing yet again after he told himself not to, after the kid was dead, for heaven's sake, made Naruto feel worse. Ghost Sasuke should know his reasons but maybe Naruto's mind was playing dumb, messing with him, making him say the things he never wanted to say in real time. It hurt to admit, but if he ripped the band-aid off quick he'd finally come to terms with himself and Sasuke would… disappear.

"Sakura gives a damn about you," the words served cold off his tongue, freezing behind his front teeth until he bit his inside cheek. The blood was metallic, flooding in his mouth and he swallowed it down bitterly. He hated Sasuke, it was official, for making him think and pushing him to speak.

"What the hell are you saying."

"Na, you know what I'm saying, you're the smartest in our class." Naruto blinked really really hard, until his forehead shortened and the skin of his temples creased and he made sure nothing left his eyes because he was a good ninja like that. Rule number 25, and the fact that if he didn't stop himself now there'd be no stopping him. He squinted and his teeth grew into a smile until the whiskers on his cheeks turned up forcibly, so he laughed and scratched the back of his head. "She likes you, you know. You should be here."

Gesturing to the world around them, the 'instead of me' was implicit.

"…are you fucking kidding me?"

The ire on his ghost face was actually scaring him, like vengeful spirits in the movies. The air grew darker when Sasuke growled and his funny white eyebrows furrowed dangerously. Next thing, he'd be haunting him. Naruto backed a step. "No, I'm not?"

"You're so stupid, I can't-"

"Okay! I get that I'm stupid, I already said sorry-"

"Now you're stupider than stupid."

"Well, you're stupid."

"You're worse."

"Anyway, you already know what I'm talking about! If she likes you then it makes perfect sense, and you can't tell me it doesn't!"

"It doesn't." Sasuke glowered and Naruto's breath hitched because he could feel the ghost air against his nose. It felt chilly and wispy and the one thing left of him that was alive. The Uchiha was angry, he could feel it but he didn't care, not when the strained veiny detail etched in white made him real when he was angry. "You idiot, that's the problem. It doesn't."

The absolute assurance in his tone bordered no objection and summarily crushed Naruto's protests. Something where Sasuke's eyes glowed and Naruto's chest swelled at his vehemence, but even now he's too idiot to open his mouth to form the right words. Turning his face aside and dropping blue eyes, he could only do that, let him the silent win of the conversation.

Even after he's dead, Naruto couldn't learn to say a simple 'thank you'.

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah. Thanks. I got that."

"I can't believe I died for you."

"I can't either."

There was a strangled noise of exasperation and a whoosh of air across his face. Naruto blinked and looked up, surprised.

"Did you just punch me?"

"Yes!" Sasuke "kicked" him for good measure, then proceeded to pull out all stops from the range of basic Academy katas. His blows flew by him like a weak and tiny fan, like he was a tantrum child to his ninja, feeding to the Uchiha's frustrations and leaving Naruto confused. Wind whipped his little blond hairs across his face, tickling him and making him sneeze. The Uzumaki let him hit him, feeling the breeze was kinda nice actually.

"Uh, why?"

The ghost settled for glaring at him darkly. His kimono didn't look the least bit frazzled and the lack of exertion intrigued Naruto in the back of his mind. "Listen here. I didn't die for some cowardly nobody to sit here moping and pity himself, I thought you-"

He stopped suddenly with an exasperated turn of his eyes and looked like he struggled to make the words. "I thought you had a dream, I thought you wanted to become Hokage."

"Fuck you, I did!"

"Then why the hell are you so meek? It's creeping me out."

"You're a ghost!"

Sasuke glared. "And you're being weird, so stop."

"I'm not being weird, I'm being honest. I didn't ask you to die for me, so if you don't like it then you shouldn't have died in the first place." Naruto harrumphed and crossed his arms stiffly. He agreed nodding to himself. He had right logic, and that was that.

"Do you even hear yourself?"

"Do you? Well, you're not even real so it doesn't even matter."

Ghost Sasuke punched him, but this time he let his fist stay in his chest. Naruto could feel the chill as it deepened, sink and freeze into his bloodstream until his breaths slowed and rung loud in his ears. Time itself turned into syrup. He inhaled deeply. It felt like a cannonball to a freezing cold lake, the shock both numbed him and sparked him alive like electricity. Mouth cracked open in surprise, his air blew shakily.

Naruto blinked wide. Sasuke's eyes were so white.

"I'm real, you stupid, idiot loser. I'm-"

The hand yanked out of his chest suddenly and Naruto gasped loudly when the warmth rushed in. His heartbeat seemed to return itself, loud and patterned in his ears. It thumped and Sasuke stared at his hand, clenched and release, holding it carefully, squeezing it with the other. "I'm real, okay? I… I remember everything," he seemed to say to himself.

Naruto's words caught in his throat.

"Okay."

"Okay? I'm real." Sasuke looked at him frantically, the whites of his eyes moving from side to side with desperation as if he were trying to find the answer in Naruto. Naruto didn't know what to tell him. Having a friend appear before him was one of his cherished pipe dreams and the usual; Sasuke won't find any comfort here.

Existential crisis and deep shit like that, Naruto wasn't particularly good at neither.

"Okay."

But it was important to this ghost-imagination-whatever this thing was, to have him believe him. It would make him feel better. It would make him happy. Maybe it would hurt to play along, Naruto knew, but it would hurt worse to watch the ghost of his friend like this. Confused and unconfident and not so Uchiha smug anymore, not the boy he was like when he was alive. Naruto swallowed the distaste in his mouth and he shook himself off of it.

If it was the last thing he could do for him, as a friend...

"I'll believe you," he said and watched as Sasuke's spirit relaxed minutely, which was weird because he was dead, who did it matter who was real when a kunai could pass through him easily unharmed. Naruto didn't get it. Sasuke's must've been worried awhile, must've been wandering for some time but it can't have been that bad. He was only dead for a week.

The ghost stiffly tucked his arms in his kimono sleeves. "About time."

He could hear the strength back in his voice. The white of his dress seemed to get whiter, finalize in his thoughts to Naruto's growing horror. He didn't know whether that was a good thing, or-

-whether he was about to kill himself in this too.

Naruto tried to regain control of his enthusiasm. "Big deal, you're real. So what? You're still dead."

"I know."

"And you're a ghost. Are you haunting me?" That wasn't a bad prospect, now that he thought about it.

"No, you idiot." Sasuke rolled his eyes with amusement and the familiarity of the gesture made his heart skip in his throat. Imagination or no, this was something great and he didn't want to let it disappear. Naruto waited to listen to what this ghost had to say, and without knowing it he cemented his fate.

Sasuke told him. "I think I need your help."