Klin: Allow us to introduce ourselves.
Tiger: I'm White Tiger of Fire and this is Klinoa. We're half of The Evil Role Players of Doom.
Klin: And what's sad is that we're actually considered to be the sane ones.
Tiger: A fact that people who read this are going to find hard to believe.
Klin: But a fact nonetheless.
Tiger: True. We wanted to get ourselves officially on FF.Net, but it wasn't working out the way we wanted it to.
Klin: Yes. The four of us were experiencing technical difficulties in getting our joint fics up. So Tiger and I got together and decided to write this.
Tiger: It was written over the phone, didn't take very long, and is probably complete crap. However, we're putting it up anyway.
Klin: We hope you enjoy it, and we'd love some feedback.
Disclaimer: We own nothing. Oh woe is us!
Daytime Serenade:
It was a dark and stormy night.
Well, not really, but we felt like saying it anyway. We're weird like that.
Instead it was a sunny afternoon at the Brotherhood Boarding House. It was a typical day at the Hood House.
Todd was eating flies in the bathroom. According to him that was where the best ones were found. Freddy was stuffing his face full with chocolate Easter bunnies that were over a year and a half old. (He'd stashed them under a floorboard and forgotten about them.) Lance was washing his jeep for the fourth time that day, muttering about stupid speed demons and their freak dust storms. Wanda was locked in her room writing up lists of ways to kill both Todd and her twin brother.
Pietro, unaware of Wanda's plot to kill him, was hopping around the yard singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," at the top of his lungs, despite the fact that it was the middle of May. (This may actually have had something to do with why Wanda was making plans to kill him.)
Upon hearing the horrible sound, which sounded like an opera singer who had been stabbed in the back, Lance jumped in his jeep, and drove for his life. Leaving a trail of cleaning supplies behind.
As Pietro entered the house, a loud choking sound emitted from the kitchen. When hearing the horror that was Pietro, Freddy swallowed too much chocolate, and keeled over wishing either that it would end, or that he was dead. Whichever came first.
Unaware of the mayhem that he was creating, Pietro continued merrily on his way, now singing, "Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail."
Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass was heard, in an attempt to escape the horror, Todd had begun hopping around the bathroom, looking for a way out. He accidentally fell through the window, but as luck would have it, a never before noticed bale of hay was conveniently there to break his fall.
Pietro carried on, still not knowing what was happening. Then a very annoyed looking Wanda appeared on the floor.
The speed demon saw the look in his sister's eyes, and knew that death, or at least severe pain, was on its way.
He had no idea what to do. Wanda at the best of times was damn near unstoppable, and an angry Wanda was a billion times worse. Granted, Wanda was almost always angry, so maybe he'd be able to get away without her hurting him too much.
A strange red light in her eyes quickly banished that thought. Wanda was more angry then he had ever seen her, and what was worse, he couldn't for the life of him figure out why.
However, since it really was for the life of him, he had better figure it out quickly.
Pietro was startled out of his thoughts when a hard cover copy of Call of the Wild flew past his head. Momentarily stopping to wonder what a classical book was doing in the Hood House, he ended up having his shoulder hit by a flying shoe. Looking around him he saw that, besides the book and the shoe, Wanda had also hexed a lamp, a hairbrush, a fishing pole, Lance's guitar, two wooden chairs, a yield sign, and three toilet brushes.
He screamed as the toilet brushes came near him. "Hey! Wanda! That is unhygienic! Think of what it could do to my skin." She responded by hexing a coat hanger, and sending it at his head. "Geeze, someone's grouchy! What did I do to you this time?"
She gave him a look that suggested she thought he had the I.Q. of ravioli. "What did you do? Are you even more stunned then I thought you were?" She sent a picture frame towards him. "You have been driving me insane for the entire day. I don't know about the others, but I for one, am not at all fond of being woken up at 4:30 in the morning to the sound of Yankee Doodle Dandy." This time she sent the yield sign at him. "And you couldn't stop there could you? Nope, not you. You had to keep on singing. This is the first time you've been quiet all day."
Pietro rolled his eyes, "You're being over-dramatic." She glared at him, "I am not! It's inhumane to force a person to go through this crap. There's probably a law against it." Another eye roll, "Blah blah blah. Have you got anything important to say, or are we done here?"
She gave him a look that probably would have made their father lose control of his bladder. "We're done I'm getting bored, and I think you should take a nap."
He started to say the he wasn't tired, when, out of nowhere, the yield sign swung back around, and nailed him in the back of the head. He crumpled to the ground in a very unconscious, and a very quiet heap.
Wanda sighed with relief, "Ahh. Silence, what a wonderful thing." She glanced down at the yield sign, which had bright an end to all of her problems. "And I thought the other boys were stupid for keeping this thing around. It's got some good use, anyway.
She took the sign, and placed it back in its usual spot on the living room wall. Then she headed back to her room, leaving her brother lying out cold on the floor.
About ten minutes later, life began to stir in the house. However, it wasn't Pietro. Freddy slowly crept out of the kitchen, and Todd came climbing in through the window. They both entered the living room.
The two looked at Pietro's still form. Todd then looked up at Freddy, and Freddy looked at Todd. Then, "He deserved it."
Then, without even another glance at Pietro, Freddy went back into the kitchen, and Todd went back up to the bathroom.
Klin: There. It's over.
Tiger: Yep. That's it.
Klin: Feel free to send us as much feedback as you want.
Tiger: Yeah! We can use any help you people can give us.
