They're six years old. Sometimes they have a problem acting it, and sometimes they don't. He realizes this one day when he accidentally makes a terrible comment about kunoichi classes.
The sad part is, he can't remember what he said just that it took a moment for his brain to go, "Whoa, not okay."
It was too late to take back once the boys around him started breaking out into laughter. Sakura took it pretty well which is why he really should have known better.
He arrives to school one day, Akamaru in his arms, when he sees it.
There's a mountain of sweets stacked haphazardly on top of his desk. The pile of boxes is as tall as he is, if not more so. He puts Akamaru down and asks for the ninken's analyses.
Akamaru senses no poison or booby-traps. It is, as far as the ninken can tell, just candy. He risks an enhanced whiff of his own and concludes the same.
Then he's left with nothing but questions. Sakura is sitting with her chin resting atop her hand, arm dangerously close to the stack. She's enjoying his reaction, and he knows she has something to do with it.
He can feel the stares of the other children digging into him. A bead of sweat drips down his neck, and he takes a step back.
"What is this?" He asks.
"Don't you know?" Sakura says sweetly, "It's the fourteenth of February."
"Valentine's Day isn't real," he bites back.
It doesn't exist here, he silently says.
"Well no, but all the other girls thought a day of romance to be a great idea," Sakura smiles at him, an evil smile.
A foreboding feeling encompasses him, and he takes a look around the room. Most of the girls watch his every move, and he thinks he can see Hinata trying to disappear behind a book.
The boys though, they're the ones giving him the ominous feeling. The majority of them are staring at him like he's an enemy spy. Their eyes go from the candy stacked on his desk to him with envy.
"Was this for the wisecrack about kunoichi classes?" He asks with a grunt.
Sakura's smile goes wider, and she begins tapping her fingers together like the evil overlord she is. Akamaru warns him of the teacher's approach.
He gives the candy pile a desperate look. Kono-sensei will have his head for bringing what he considers distractions to school. His eyes shoot around the room, mind whirling.
Akamaru tells him Naruto just ran into Kono-sensei outside the door. The door shakes from the sheer volume, and he breathes a sigh of relief. The kid doesn't know it, but the loudmouth has just saved his hide.
"Alright," he grabs as many boxes as he can, "I accept your candy but not your feelings. That's gross, and I know Sakura probably threatened you."
He can see many of the girls eyes narrow. He sees Ino take out a practice kunai and decides to backpedal.
"Or she asked, and you guys were really nice to give her a hand," he amends.
The girls relax, and he breathes another sigh of relief. Girls, he found, held grudges over the weirdest things for the longest time.
"Since you did this," he growls to his seatmate, "you get half."
He dumps the boxes on top of Sakura who hisses at him. He looks down at the small pile still on his desk. Akamaru is content to pretend he has nothing to do with this situation and offers no advice.
His eyes do another trek across the room, searching for potential targets. No girls, he thinks, because they'd get picked on if he did that.
He is, for a moment, tempted to throw them all at Sasuke's head. Surprisingly, the Uchiha boy is also giving him an ugly look. Then again, the death of the Uchiha hasn't happened yet.
Sasuke always has his nose stuck up in the air but is a weirdly cheerful kid. He doesn't have the heart to throw him to the wolves just yet.
Akamaru gives him another warning, and he makes a decision. Taking the remaining boxes into his arms and leaping up and over the desk behind him, he throws all the boxes towards the back corner.
"These are yours," he tells the young Shino.
He only just makes it back to his seat before the door opens. He spends the time until lunch alternating between listening to the lesson and making faces at Sakura when Kono-sensei's back is turned.
Sakura spends the lesson trying to pretend she doesn't have a bunch of small boxes in her lap and giving him the most amazing glares.
Life is good, he thinks. The class empties for lunch, and Sakura takes a moment to figure out what to do with her newly gained candy.
"Happy Valentine's Day," he tells her mockingly.
She throws a box at his head.
