Hello, this is HOLLY WOOD RECYCLE BIN and this is my first and only Smallville fic. And it's the most random piece of non sense I've ever written. This story is not for those who are logical. This is just me having some fun.
Title: SHOCK HORROR SHOCK HORROR or The Grand adventures of Clark Luthor
Disclaimer: All I own is the representation of a perfect form of my brain. Or something like that...
Warning: SLASH, incest, OOCness and other sick twisted nonsense.
Feedback: Please do, but don't flame.
Spoilers: from episode Lineage onwards.
Pairing: um...Lionel/everyone, Clark/almost everyone, Lex/ almost everyone... oh you get the picture. The only couple that is monogamous is Chloe/Lana.
Summary: AU where Clark Kent becomes a Luthor.
My story is follows the story line of season 2 starting from the episode Lineage. Each part is a parody of each episode and each part has chapters in it. Please notice the warning and don't flame me for my lack of morality, common sense etc. And I don't mean to offend anyone so if I did, sorry.
On with the Prologue
Long ago in a galaxy far far away...um...let's skip all that. It'll take too long.
Ok, start again.
Once upon a time about a few years ago, on this very Earth in a place called Smallville, Kansas; there lived a 16 year old alien boy by the name of Clark Kent who loved to walk around naked. Clark was dropped off on Earth after his planet was destroyed and was picked up by a poor farming couple who went by the names Jonathan and Martha Kent.
One day a woman came by claiming to be Clark's mother and convinced that the multi-billionaire Lionel Luthor was his father. Since she wasn't an alien the Kents didn't believe her, she got a court ordered DNA test and made Clark take it. Clark, not wanting people to know that he was an alien, switched his DNA sample with his buddy Pete Ross.
It was on a fine afternoon when the DNA results arrived and SHOCK HORROR SHOCK HORROR: Pete's DNA matched that of the notorious Lionel Luthor.
Poor ol' Pete never saw it coming, and was too shocked to face it when it did. So he never actually faced it and is today, still oblivious to that fact.
But never fear, for our hero is never alone. Though he can never share the secret of not really being a Luthor (as well as the alien thing) to anyone else, he still has good trustworthy friends who will always be there for him. (cough bullshit cough)
One of those friends is the beautiful hermaphrodite, Lana Lang, owner of the popular coffee shop cum theatre; the Talon and her ever changing roommate, Chloe Sullivan who is...well, ever changing.
Now Clark must lead a double life as a rich and sophisticated cough yeah right cough Luthor and as wholesome farm boy Kent; and face new obstacles such as the Anti-Luthor society and mobs of fan girls.
He must also learn the ways of Luthorism with his new half brother, best friend and lover, Lex Luthor, whose subconscious is convinced that Clark is his dead brother Julian and from his 'daddy' the blind and (very) sexually active 60 year old ruthless business man. They also practice the 'Luthor family tradition' together frequently winkwink.
All this and he still has to save the local residence from any evil that arises in the leafy town of SMALLVILLE.
Some body saaaaaaaaave me
Blah blah blah blah break right through
And saaaaaaave me
Don't care how you do it...
Etc. etc.
