I wanted to take a different approach to my favorite ship, Nick and Greg. By doing this, I want to show how strong their relationship actually is. I hope you enjoy.

I don't own anything.


Grissom sighed and took off his glasses. He gently put them on his desk and took one last look at the papers in front of him before looking up at the young man sitting across from him.

"You're absolutely positive this is what you want?" He asked.

Nick shrugged. "I don't have too much of a choice. I can't stay here...I ruined everything already. Greg can't stand to see me, and that's not fair to him. It'd be best for everyone."

Grissom nodded slightly. "Okay then. I hate to see you go...but do what you need to do. Just remember, you'll always have a job here waiting for you if you ever want to come back."

Nick stood, along with his supervisor, and they shook hands. "Thanks Grissom. I don't wanna leave...I have to. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." The older CSI said. "I have a feeling I'll be seeing you again."

All Nick could do was smile sadly before leaving Grissom's office. He walked slowly down the hallway and looked all around him, not wanting to leave the lab that he worked in for so many years. Memories flooded through his mind, and he couldn't help but smile at them. He loved his job, and loved the people he worked with even more. They were like his second family. Leaving was the hardest thing he's ever had to do, but he didn't have much of a choice. He felt trapped.

He glanced into Archie's A/V lab just in time to see Greg turn around. Their eyes met, and Nick felt his heart shattering slowly and painfully. Greg just stood there and stared back at him with that look in his eyes. That look of anger, pain, hate, and remnaints of love. A look that was there because of Nick.

Nick could feel tears stinging his eyes as Greg walked out of Archie's lab and came to a stop in front of him.

"You're really leaving, aren't you." Greg said as more of a statement than a question.

Nick nodded. "I have to."

Greg shook his head. "No, you don't. You could have stayed here, stayed with me. You didn't have to ruin everything for whatever reason you're telling yourself you threw this away for. This is what you think want, even though it doesn't make any sense. You don't have to run away. I'll never understand why you're doing this. I'll never understand why you don't love me anymore." And with that Greg walked away, past Nick.

"I do still love you." Nick whispered as Greg passed him, but Greg didn't hear him. He just kept walking. Nick turned around and wanted to scream as loud as he could that he was sorry and that he never stopped loving Greg, but he couldn't. He couldn't get the lump in his throat to go away. There was nothing more he wanted than to stop Greg from walking away for good, from letting the biggest mistake of his life actually happen. But instead he just stood there and let the silent tears run down his face as he watched Greg walk away.


"Greg, we need to talk." The words no one ever wants to hear. But Greg never expected anything bad. Not as bad as this.

He came into the living room and sat down next to his boyfriend of five years. "What's up?" He asked. He could tell by Nick's eyes this wasn't going to be good, but it couldn't be too bad. He was wrong.

Nick took a deep breath and forced his eyes up from the floor of the living room inside the house the two shared. He looked into Greg's dark brown eyes and wanted to stop himself from doing this, but couldn't. "I think...we need to..." He was having a lot of trouble finding the right words. "I can't do this anymore." He said finally.

Greg stared blankly at him. "Do what?" He asked.

"This. Us." Nick said. "This isn't what I want anymore...I need more. More that you can't give me."

Greg shook his head. "You mean a family? It's your parents, isn't it? They want you to settle down with a nice girl and have a family...I thought you didn't want that?"

"No, I do. I need that. I need to start over, get out of this city and forget everything that's ever gone wrong in my life here."

"You mean me." Greg's voice was hollow and weak. When Nick didn't answer, Greg stood up on shaky legs. "I can't believe this...are you serious?"

Nick nodded. "I'm sorry G."

The sound of his nickname only slightly affected Greg. "I don't understand...you're just up and leaving? All of a sudden?"

"I have to." Nick said as he stood as well.

"Why?" Greg asked, tears threatening to spill from his sad eyes.

"Because I don't love you anymore." Nick said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Greg felt like someone had just ripped his heart out and shoved it back in broken down into a million tiny pieces. The tears finally fell from his eyes, and he swore he saw a look in Nick's eyes that told him he was lying. But it was only there for a minute, and was quickly forgotten by the heartbroken ex-labrat.

"Fine. Leave. I hope I never have to see you again, and if I do...it better kill me."

Sitting on the plane, replaying that moment in his head over and over, made Nick hate himself even more than he had before. The last month had been hell. Sara had all but right out punched him in the face. Catherine had acted like the disappointed but supportive mother that can't understand why someone would do something so stupid. Grissom had been professional and been the most helpful, other than Warrick. Nick's best friend was so surprised when he was told he was leaving, and it had been hard to come to grips with. But Warrick had tried to help Nick out as best as he could, despite the toll it was taking on the youngest member of the CSI team.

Greg wouldn't work with Nick, and everytime he saw him he felt like he was going to be sick. A few times, he actually did get physically sick from the thought of what Nick was doing. Nick had stayed with Warrick for those weeks before the transfer papers had been sent to Boston and Nick had gotten an appartment set up there along with his new job.

There was a small party of the graveyard shift, Brass, Sofia, Archie and Hodges for Nick on his last night. He couldn't leave without saying goodbye first. Nick was still trying to forget the look in his Warrick's eyes as he left his best friend behind at the airport.

Greg hadn't come to the party. His goodbye was their exchange of words in the hallway on Nick's way out. He wouldn't have been able to handle anything else. Greg felt like he was missing something inside of him. Nick had taken his heart with him when he left.


Even though Nick hadn't lived with him for the past month, the house still felt empty when Greg knew for sure that Nick was gone. Deep down, he thought this was just going to be a temporary thing, that Nick wasn't really going to go through with this and leave. He didn't want to believe that Nick could just forget about the five years they were together and leave him. He didn't want to believe Nick didn't love him anymore.

Nick left without saying goodbye. He had barely even tried. And he hadn't given him a good reason for leaving. Greg would be the first to admit that they're relationship had gotten a little rocky and they had fought at times, but who didn't? There had never been any terrible fights, and they always made up after.

The worst it had ever gotten was four years ago when Greg had been asking Nick every day when they could tell the rest of the team about their relationship. Nick was scared, and Greg understood that. At first. After a while, he had gotten frustrated and was beginning to think Nick didn't want to make a committment.

"I don't see what the big deal is." Greg said as he stood from the couch and started walking away.

Nick stood up and pulled on Greg's wrist, spinning him around. "I just...I'm not ready yet, okay? I'm sorry but I don't wanna mess this up."

"How would it mess this up? If anything it would make it better. We could stop sneaking around and wouldn't have to lie anymore."

Nick was beyond annoyed. He quickly raised his hand and ran it through his dark hair. But that's not what Greg thought he was going to do. The younger man visibly flinched away with fear in his eyes. Nick's hand froze, still in his dark hair, and he stared at Greg silently. Greg opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it and retreated to the bedroom. Nick stood there for a few minutes before following Greg.

Nick had no trouble crawling into bed and cuddling up next to Greg in the complete darkness of their bedroom. He wrapped his arms around Greg's waist and pulled his back flush against his chest and rested his cheek on the side of Greg's head.

Nick gently kissed the sensitive spot behind Greg's left ear before whispering, "I'm sorry Greg...I would never hit you. I was just frustrated. It's my fault you thought I was going to...but believe me sweetie, I would never hit you. I'm never gonna hurt you."

Greg wiped away the tears that were falling from his eyes. He couldn't remember why he had believed Nick when he said that. He didn't know why he believed anything he had told him. Now none of it mattered. Nick was gone, and Greg was left alone and heartbroken. And he didn't think Nick even cared at all.


Nick sat on the floor in his pitch black, empty apartment. He took another pull from his beer before putting the bottle on the hardwood floor. He rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. He was actually here. Now that he was, he couldn't remember exactly why he had left. All he knew was it had something to do with him being scared. But he couldn't remember what he was afraid of.

He sighed heavily and stared out his living room window. He could hear the heavy Saturday night traffic in Boston because of the nearby Red Sox game. If he closed his eyes and forgot where he was, Nick could easily pretend he was sitting on the roof back at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He just wished he didn't have to pretend.

Nick hadn't stopped thinking about Greg since he had told him he was leaving. He kept trying to tell himself he wasn't in love with him anymore and that he needed to move on. That's why he had left. Everything that had happened to him in Vegas scared him, and he didn't want anything bad to happen ever again. So he left behind his job, friends, and the one person he loved more than anything. All because he was afraid that one day it wouldn't be there anymore and he wouldn't have anything left.

Ironically enough, that's exactly how Nick felt right now. Alone.