Author's note: This piece of creative fiction should not be taken seriously in any context whatsoever. Expect complete nonsense, the outright removal of the fourth wall, and more author intrusion than that time that jerk broke into your house and stole all your soap.

But I may be getting ahead of myself here. Have a prologue.

The year is 2006. Wait. No. Shit. 2009. Someone flipped the last number, and the person responsible will be reprimanded for such nonsense once a free minute occurs. The last pecks of snow are melting, in a tiny little town by the ocean. If you're from a small town, this passage is conjuring up nostalgic feelings.. and if you grew up in a city, just remember that time you went to grandma's for a week and were bored silly. Yeah, like that. Good.
In this little town, there's a nice young twentysomething named Terry. Not Jerry, heavens no, that's not his name at all. Terry starts with a T. And Jerry starts with a J. Completely different. Just needed to get that out there. Anywho, this guy, Terry. He has these three friends in the next town over; Brad, Matt, and Sherm. What's that? Self-inserts? The author has no idea what you're talking about, these allegations are unfounded. Those four duders, they happen to hang out and play video games an awful lot.. and often, games come up in their discussion. That Terry fellow is a gigantic old-timey Final Fantasy nerd. He could tell you all about the best job classes in Final Fantasy V, I'm sure. Something terribly cliche is going to happen to these four, much like something out of a 2003 tactical JRPG for the Game Boy Adva-- I mean, something the author himself came up with completely originally. Overnight, Terry's world will be transformed into a remote part of the mythical and blatantly stolen fantasy world of Ivalice, known as "New Island". Terry will be gifted with the powers of his favorite job class from that one Final Fantasy series; the Black Mage. Why was his home changed? How will he get back? How will he use his powers? Can he even USE them to begin with? Is he even any good at this? Will the author get rave reviews and several attractive women with big breasts desiring to sleep with him?
Find out in...

FINAL FANTASY TACTICS
regress