DK could not believe his holy Kongo Bongo eyes. It was Diddy Kong, but dark and brooding and angstier than all living things.
Dark Diddy had entered the chat room.
Diddy hated the sight of Dark Diddy. He used his righteous Spin Dash to consume the evil darkness spewing forth from Dark Diddy's unholy attitude.
"What is now transpiring?" questioned DK's whole ape life. He saw his tears splash to the ground and instantly grow the trees of the banana varieties. Bluster would be so proud of this combo.
"I can see you are indeed a threat to my grand scheme," mused Dark Diddy. He took out a Peanut Popgun and loaded it with the correct ammunition. He blasted a hole through Dixie's plane.
Funky gasped at the sight and then realised that the world was not ready for such teenage angst.
"My good Diddy is faltering!" wept DK as he beat the ground and caused the nanners to drop to the ground in woe.
"Dude, I have to do something!" said Funky. He then took of a sacred mop and stuck it onto his own head. The mop strings mingled with Funky's bloodstream and turned bright crimson. Funky's nose grew pointier and his fur changed completely to red all over. He donned giant spiky gloves and sick kicks with green socks and legos.
"I am reborn!" cried Funky, flexing like an absolutely boss.
"This is so gnarly!" said Diddy. He sped up to Dark Diddy and used a very good punch. Dark Diddy fell and lost ownership of his deadly weapon.
"That's what you get!" laughed Dixie with the remark of angels. She flew down, retrieved the Peanut Popgun and fired away at Dark Diddy, sending him to the shadow realm for eternity.
"This is such a hard time for me to interpret!" said DK as he quickly engulfed the bananas within his bottom lip. He trudged around the valleys scooping up the tasty treats like a true G.
Funky watched as DK scooped nanners heartily. He then saw the seven Chaos Bananas get scooped as well. Funky screamed at the sight and kicked DK in the batoot, launching all bananas from their newly acquired ecosystem.
"What have you done?" said DK. "My life was bananas!"
"My duty is to protect the Chaos Bananas for the Master Banana!" said Funky as he crossed his arms and thought about destructive Hulk-like behaviour.
Diddy shrugged at Funky because he was such a hotheaded pleb. "Smooth move, Knucklehead!"
Dixie gasped. "Diddy! I think King K. Rool is still attacking the island!"
"Shoot!" Diddy wailed to the night heavens. He ran up to DK and jumped into his bottom lip like a baby joey kangaroo does to its mother. "We gotta split, homedawgs!"
"Diddy!" said DK with glee. "Welcome back to me!"
"No time to talk, kid!" snarked Diddy as he revved up his flingmakers. "Time to crack that King K. Rool WIDE OPEN!"
And so, Diddy, Dixie, and Funky ran off to K. Rool's lair again to inspect madness and dish out justice.
DK was so happy to be along for the ride. Finally things were lookin' spiffy and skippy in the neighbourhood!
WE'RE GOING INTERSTELLAR, BOYZ!
"Let's blast through with Diddy Speed!"
"Okay!"
"All Right!"
