Embrace

I had been jealous for my Katara many times before. It was hard for me to feel that we would be having "a moment" - ever. I wanted to be with her. The beautiful dark-skinned girl who took care all of us. Especially me. So why has it started to feel like she was having those moments lately? Just not with me… When I looked Katara circling her arms around Zuko for the first time I felt there was something bad in there, even if I didn´t let it affect my smile. I had wanted her to forgive Zuko, so that was okay, but how is it possible, when you hate someone with so much passion that you can´t even chance the hateful look into a neutral one when seeing them, you suddenly embrace that person the very next day?

It was a short embrace, but I felt I have never waited anything to end for so long. Katara seemed so small pressed against Zuko. First thing that made me uncomfortable was taking notice how she had to rise to the tip of her toes to reach him. No… how Zuko pulled her to the tip of her toes while his hands pressed against her back. That didn´t create an image of mother hugging a child with care. When Katara would embrace me she would always place her head on top of mine and the touch would be light as a feather. It has always been wonderful: I always felt the fragile touch would mean it was special. Like we didn´t need a strong contact because we had a connection much greater. And the light feeling of arms would only highlight it.

But when I watched Zuko to press his arms so strongly around Katara´s frame her clothes and hair seemed crushed beneath the pale firenation skin, all the hugs I had received felt like the air they were.

When the two had made contact, Zuko let out a long sigh. Like he would relax after a great weight had been lifted. Anyone would see it like that, but I couldn´t help but give more meaning to the second before he let out the breath. Probably he had been tense and nervous, but it clearly wasn´t like he had been holding that breath for a long time. No, the smallest movement told me that he took more time taking the air in than letting it out. When Katara´s wild hair was pressed against the side of his face he moved his head slightly and took the deepest breath I have seen. I felt like clenching my fists. Why did he seem so happy? So content? Yes, forgiveness was important, but we all had to do that – why was Katara´s so special to him? Why did it seem like her smile would weight more than any of ours… Had Zuko told everything about the trip or was there something he had decided to keep as a secret?

And then the contact between them ended. I acted ridiculous. My imagination was too great I suppose. Like there would be any meaning behind the act. We all hugged each other now and then. Katara didn´t even look back when she left. But when I turned to Zuko why did it make the pit of my stomach to twist painfully to see he had turned to look after Katara walking away…