Good christ I can't believe I wrote this. I have literally never written a Christmas story before, but here is a short one-shot about Christmas at Boone and Verity's. Probably won't make any sense without having read the other stories. Merry Christmas, all :)
"Why would you even believe that some asshole shows up at your house each year and leaves you presents?" Verity asked. "Okay, like, number one, that's terrifying. Strangers coming into your house is pretty much exactly what you want to avoid out here. Number two, it makes no fucking sense. Who is he, why would he do this, where does he get the caps, and what does he expect in return? It's fucked up."
"She's four," said Boone. "She doesn't need to think about all the implications. Some firendly old man is bringing her presents. It's nice."
"She is gonna fucking see through that shit in like two minutes flat," said Verity, spreading her arms. "And she is going to bring up everything I did and probably some things I haven't thought of yet. And you should be happy about this, because it means she looks at things from all angles and doesn't believe whatever bullshit she gets fed by adults."
"This isn't bullshit," said Boone.
She shook her head. "It's totally bullshit."
"This is because you didn't have Santa Claus when you were young, wasn't it?"
"Well-" Verity hesitated. "I mean that's possibly related but that's not the point. I legitimately do not see how this is an acceptable lie to tell to your child. We're meant to be teaching her all about the world, like you stay away from strangers who want to give you candy, and things that are bigger than you are, and don't wander outside ED-E's patrol area, and keep Gabe around, and then suddenly you drop in some shit like this guy is going to break into your house and force you to accept his presents. I don't even fucking know what a reindeer is. The whole thing is bullshit."
Boone narrowed his eyes. "I think they're like bighorners," he said. "But thinner. And taller."
"What in the actual fuck," said Verity. "I bet they're not even real."
"And they live in the snow," he continued.
"I have never seen a reindeer in Jacobstown," she said. "Only Lily's bighorners and semi-visible night stalkers." Her eyes widened suddenly, and she grabbed Boone's arm tightly. "Oh my god, what if Santa Claus is a nightkin? It totally explains how no one ever sees him. And nightkin can just be right there in a room, and you can't see them. See, that makes sense. A creepy nightkin watches you sleep and gives you presents for it."
"Jesus," said Boone. "Santa Claus isn't a nightkin. He-"
"How do you know that?" asked Verity. "It's not like anyone's ever seen him."
"Nightkin weren't even around when Santa Claus was first-"
"Well it's not like it could be one guy the whole time," she said. "That's what, like thousands of years, right?"
"Hundreds, maybe."
"If he was a nightkin he could live that long," she said, folding her arms. "See? Internal consistency in your weird fairy tale shit."
Boone sighed. "Do you want Santa Claus to be a nightkin?"
"Yep," she said, lifting her chin. "Santa's a nightkin or I don't go along with it."
"Alright," he said. "Santa's a nightkin. Don't tell her he's not real."
"Well," she said, barely able to keep herself from laughing. "Good. And they live in the snow. Makes sense. See? That's all I wanted."
Boone smiled, and shook his head. "Yeah," he said. "Makes sense."
