A/N: Ok, folks. This one is a little (a lot) different from anything I've done so far. For the love of all that is holy, please understand this is a parody; nothing about this is to be taken seriously. It's just meant in good fun.

If you're unaware of the incredible awesomeness of the Adorable Psycho universe, you're missing out. Seriously, go to Wepdiggy's author page and get caught up. Your lives will be the better for it, I promise. Anyway, Wep was gracious enough to allow the use of his AP motif in the Castle fandom. I can only say that I hope I've done your creation justice, Wepdiggy.

Set just after the season 2 finale, it's my take on Kate deciding she wasn't going to let Gina walk away with her man.

This is non-beta-approved, and of course, I don't own the Castle universe, the Adorable Psycho theme, or anything related to these characters, so the only thing I own here are the mistakes.


2:38 AM.

The microwave clock's soft green glow taunted Rick Castle as he paced around his beach house's kitchen listening to the phone call that had pulled him from a very satisfied sleep.

"No, this is the first I've heard of this…I know, I'm as surprised as you are…stunned, really…yeah, I can video conference from here…Let's set something up with her replacement for a couple of weeks from now…No, I won't be able to make the ceremony out in California…Really? Every time? Embezzling my royalties? I had no clue…Anyway, yeah, thanks for calling me…No, no it's ok…This is something that couldn't have waited…Good night to you too."

He put down both his phone after the call from Black Pawn and tablet, still displaying the last web page he had open:

"Publisher Found Brutally Slain"

"Late tonight, a homeless man found the body of Gina Cowell in an abandoned building near the 12th Precinct. Cowell, an employee of Black Pawn Publishing, was the primary force behind the sensational success of Richard Castle's Derek Storm and Nikki Heat novels. Police have made no details available about the condition of her body or what they suspect happened to her, but rumors are swirling. Our sources inside the 12th have told us – on condition of anonymity – that Cowell was found viciously beaten with her throat slashed…"

He walked upstairs back to his bedroom and took in the intoxicating sight of a very naked Kate Beckett stretched out over his extremely comfortable bed. The past forty-eight hours had taken more twists and turns than his most devious Derek Storm plot. He started by believing that Kate was on her way to a beach weekend with Tom Demming, which led him to the first steps of a reconnection with Gina. When he was saying his goodbyes at the precinct and Gina showed up, Kate got a strange, almost manic, glint in her eye before she asked Gina for a quick word outside the precinct. A little while later, his phone buzzed with a strange text from Gina's phone saying she had to cancel their trip due to a sudden meeting she had to attend. Shortly after that, Kate bounced back up to the homicide bullpen cracking her knuckles and brushing dust off her sleeves. When she got back to him, she flashed an ear-to-ear grin, twirled her hair around one finger, and said she hoped his initial invitation to the Hamptons was still open. Once out at the beach house, she wrapped her arms around him and confessed her love before kissing him senseless and dragging him up to the bedroom. After those two days, he was almost breathlessly awaiting the next turn.

Sliding back into bed next to the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, fascinating, mystifying…really reaching for adjectives here, Mr. Author, he chastised himself…extraordinary woman he had ever known, he was unsurprised but gratified when she sighed softly and scooted over to cuddle into him. The night before she had been like a completely new person. Free, wild, and unrestrained, she was worlds removed from her usual reserved, careful self. Telling him that she loved him seemed to have opened the floodgates, and she was everything he ever hoped she would be. He ached in places he didn't even know he had. Far from what he expected, after telling him how she loved him, once they were in the bedroom Kate turned into a wildcat, taking charge and expecting him to hold on for the ride.

Nevertheless, Gina's strange disappearance, which he now knew to be her murder, needed explaining.
Castle reached over and stroked her cheek gently. "Kate? Kate, I need you to wake up."

"Mmm…'s too early…" she muttered in her sleep.

She was heart-wrenchingly adorable, but he needed answers, and needed them now. Reaching down and slightly across, he gave her delectable rear a pinch just firm enough to wake her up.

"Ouch! What was that for? Are you really ready for the next round already? Rick, you're insatiable!" she purred as soon as she was alert enough, stretching to work the kinks out of muscles that hadn't been used in far too long. Why did I wait so long to do that with him? God, that was incredible! He was even better than my wildest fantasies…

He put his hands on her shoulders to slow her down as she leaned in for a kiss. "No, no Kate, I wasn't waking you up for that. I need to talk to you."

She rolled back to her side, suspicious and alert. "That doesn't sound good."

"Well, it isn't really. Gina's body was found a couple hours ago near the precinct. She was murdered, pretty violently: she was beaten and then had her throat cut." He watched her carefully, but noticed no change in her countenance as she heard the news.

Kate flashed back to the previous few days as she tried to come up with an appropriate response


"I should have just told you. I just didn't want things between us to be awkward, now that Tom and I are together."

"Actually, that makes what I was going to say a little easier. With my book due, I was thinking it would be a good time to take a break."

"For how long?"

"The summer at least. I thought this would be our last case."

Ryan and Esposito arrived before her shock allowed her to come up with a response. He's really leaving? Why?

Javier gave her the slap in the face she needed. "Why do you think he's been following you around all this time? Research? The guy's done enough research to write fifty books. Look, whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't involve watching you be with another guy."

The next morning, Montgomery had taken his turn: "It's sad that a man had to die because everyone involved was too scared to say what they really felt."

Gee, thanks, Captain. Why don't you just come out and tell me to drag Castle into the supply closet? Supply closet…that's not a half-bad idea…hmmmm

As soon as Montgomery walked off, shaking her loose from her latest Castle-fantasy, (some of which had really gotten inconvenient when she was with Tom, a fact which never made her feel as guilty as it should have) she overheard Castle himself talking to Alexis about the summer study program at Princeton. As silly as it was, she always treasured the moments when she saw him in Dad-mode, since he showed that side to only those he trusted. Then when he looked at her and smiled, Rick also noticed Demming walk in, and took the opportunity to head off. Before he could fully hide it, Kate saw the briefest flash of pain and jealousy, but he resolutely slipped his mask on and left.

There it was. Castle was sacrificing his own happiness because he thought she wanted to be with Demming. Foolish, brave, selfless, kind, caring man. This dance had gone on long enough. There really was no point in distracting herself with Demming any longer when her heart already belonged to someone else and her body was aching to join the fun.

She shook her head, focusing on the farewell party itself, when she was able to join and asked Castle to talk alone.

"I know that I'm not the easiest person to get to know, and I don't always let on what's on my mind but this past year working with you I've had a really good time."

"Yeah, me too."

"So, I am just going to say this and…"

Oh. Lovely. Her whole team was getting to watch her heart get stomped over by a soulless Barbie doll. The challenge in the pixie's eyes rattled Kate; it was high school all over again, watching the guy she had a crush on for months walk away in the arms of the head cheerleader. Seeing Castle start to do the same, all because she didn't get the chance to tell him how she felt and accept his invitation to go to the Hamptons, was too much. Something in her snapped, and before she knew it, she was calling out to Gina.

"Hey, Gina? Can we have a word, for just a moment? I wanted to ask you something."

The tramp looked surprised, but acquiesced after a moment of delay.

Out in the street, Kate carefully guided Gina into an abandoned building near the precinct, away from prying eyes, she had hinted. The door closed behind them with an ominous smack that echoed throughout the empty building.

She tried pleading. She tried reasoning. She even tried intimidation, but the blonde bitch saw how desperate she was and preferred rubbing Kate's face in her possession of Castle's affections. So Kate snapped, again, and started rubbing Gina's face in it…it meaning the floor.

After it was all over, she dusted herself off as best as possible, carefully fixing her hair in a mirror that got shattered in the brawl, before walking back to the precinct with a huge grin.

"I was actually just about to say that I wanted to go with you to the Hamptons after all, if the invitation is still open."


Kate visibly shook herself free of the thoughts. "Murdered? Really? Wow, I wonder who'll get that case. Maybe Espo and Ryan have already started looking into it," she finished with purposed nonchalance, hoping he wouldn't push any –

"Did your little trip outside have anything to do with this?"

-more. Shit. Of course he wouldn't let this go. "Um, well…"

"Kate! Please tell me you didn't kill her!" Castle backed as far away from her as the bed would allow, desperate for some sign that she hadn't killed his ex-wife.

"Well…she was going to steal you away from me! I was just about to tell you how much I love you when she came waltzing in and tried to snatch you from under my nose! I wasn't going to stand for it, Rick!" she pleaded.

Castle put his head in his hands. "Then how the hell did she die?"

"I tried reasoning with her, I tried begging her, I even tried to scare her into leaving you to me. Nothing worked, and she just kept getting cockier and more aggressive each time she shot me down. I just slapped her! I wanted to smack the smug little grin off her face." She threw her hands out the side, hoping he would believe her.

"Ok, still not seeing how she got her throat cut, Kate!"

"After the first slap, we started brawling, and when I say brawling, I really mean I was kicking her ass. I was about to knock her out when she reached for something sharp on the floor. I couldn't let her get the jump on me, so I whipped out my emergency knife, and as soon as she turned to try to slash me with some broken glass, I…beat her to it?" she finished meekly

Oh this is a disaster. The woman I love is a murdering psychopath, he thought to himself. "And what happens now? Lanie's going to point the finger straight at you, you know. How are you going to get out of this?"

Kate scoffed derisively. "Please. Lanie and the boys saw you about to walk out of there with her as I was trying to pour my heart out to you. Do you honestly think my best friend and my two partners who love me like a sister are going to do anything about this? They'll call it anything they have to, but I'm clean as a whistle," she finished with a grin and a kiss to his lips.

The feel of her lips combined with the heat of her nude body in such close proximity was hypnotizing. Castle felt his outrage melting away and the urge to rationalize her actions rising. "Well…I did just get a call about Gina's replacement, and how some bureaucrat noticed she'd been making up random deadlines for my books to make herself look better," he murmured into her lips.

"See? I did us a favor by getting rid of that particular problem," she whispered, sliding her leg over him so that he could feel exactly how ready she was for the next round.

"Yeah, they even said something about embezzling profits and royalties," he squeaked out, starting to forget why he was thinking about anything but her in that moment.

"Rick?"

"Yeah, Kate?"

"You're welcome. Now drill me, big boy," she grinned as she started another round of feverish lovemaking.

"Aren't we in the wrong position for me to be doing the drilling?" He wondered as he nipped at her neck.

"Are you really arguing semantics with me right now?"

"You have a point there," he admitted somewhat breathlessly. Oh the ways I love this woman.

"No, I think you do…" she threw back her head and laughed with sheer joy as he proved his point, over and over again.


A/N 2: Well, there it is. What do you think? Yes, it was a bit twisted, but the AP theme was just too much fun not to write.

I have other ideas in mind to continue this storyline in other one-shots, but it all depends on you. If you liked it at all, review, drop me a PM, or do something to let me know if you want to see more.

Thank you! :)