Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse! Also, I made this in Edward's POV. No flames, or I will tell Jane Volturi to GET YOU!
Twilight. My favorite time of the day. I had about an hour before going to watch Bella, my love, sleep. So, I turned on my stereo system, and leaned back on the bed, thinking about the lyrics, and how they pertained to my life.
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
If
I think of her, I sometimes have to immediately see her.
They
crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little
reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
My
siblings always reminded me that I was without a partner before I met
Bella.
Playing
movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
Ah,
Emmett.
There's
a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
How
I feel when I leave Bella alone. Nervous.
An
ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
I
felt this way when I left her. I just wanted her to have peace and a
normal human life.
And
will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
When
I left, I never wanted to hear those words again.
And
will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space
I
wanted her away from me that day in biology. I didn't want to kill
her.
Hate
me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't
do for you
I
wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think
of me again. She was too good for me.
Hate
me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
I
was fine with her hating me.
Hate
me so you can finally see what's good for you
I
wanted her to have a normal human life.
I'm
sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you
helped me with
She
helps me keep from killing her, with her love.
The
one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch
again
My
self-doubt.
In
a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
She
always told me I was never a monster.
While
I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
She
never doubted me.
You
never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
She
loved me no matter what.
You
made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
Even
when I thought myself a monster, she would tell me it was not
true.
So
I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
I
did this when I left her.
And
do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate
me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't
do for you
I
wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think
of me again. She was too good for me.
Hate
me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
I
was fine with her hating me.
Hate
me so you can finally see what's good for you
I
wanted her to have a normal human life.
And
with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
I
thought I would die when I left her.
Kicking
shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
I
felt so much guilt leaving her.
And
like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry
and I held your face in my hand
I
hated it when she cried when I left.
And
then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
I
just curled up in a ball, blocking out the world.
Just
make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then
she whispered "How can you do this to me?"
She
didn't understand, nor did she want me, to leave.
Hate
me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't
do for you
I
wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think
of me again. She was too good for me.
Hate
me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
I
was fine with her hating me.
Hate
me so you can finally see what's good for you
For you
For
you
For you
I wanted her to have a normal human life.
And with that, I stood and left to see my angel.
