Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse! Also, I made this in Edward's POV. No flames, or I will tell Jane Volturi to GET YOU!

Twilight. My favorite time of the day. I had about an hour before going to watch Bella, my love, sleep. So, I turned on my stereo system, and leaned back on the bed, thinking about the lyrics, and how they pertained to my life.

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head

If I think of her, I sometimes have to immediately see her.
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone

My siblings always reminded me that I was without a partner before I met Bella.
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home

Ah, Emmett.
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

How I feel when I leave Bella alone. Nervous.
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?

I felt this way when I left her. I just wanted her to have peace and a normal human life.
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?

When I left, I never wanted to hear those words again.
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

I wanted her away from me that day in biology. I didn't want to kill her.


Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

I wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think of me again. She was too good for me.


Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow

I was fine with her hating me.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I wanted her to have a normal human life.


I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with

She helps me keep from killing her, with her love.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again

My self-doubt.
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night

She always told me I was never a monster.
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight

She never doubted me.
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate

She loved me no matter what.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take

Even when I thought myself a monster, she would tell me it was not true.
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind

I did this when I left her.
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind


Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

I wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think of me again. She was too good for me.


Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow

I was fine with her hating me.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
I wanted her to have a normal human life.


And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave

I thought I would die when I left her.
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made

I felt so much guilt leaving her.
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand

I hated it when she cried when I left.
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"

I just curled up in a ball, blocking out the world.
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

She didn't understand, nor did she want me, to leave.


Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

I wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think of me again. She was too good for me.


Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow

I was fine with her hating me.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
For you
For you
For you

I wanted her to have a normal human life.

And with that, I stood and left to see my angel.