Newton Rules
What will happen when Phineas and Ferb decide to change the laws of cartoon physics that govern their world? All characters belong to Disney, not me.
Chapter One
Phineas and Ferb were sitting under their backyard tree when Baljeet came wandering in, his nose in a book.
"What's up, Baljeet?" asked Phineas.
"I am studying for a physics examination," said Baljeet.
"For when summer is over?" Phineas said. "That will be a long time."
"Preparation is the key to difficult subjects," said Baljeet.
"Should be easy for you," said Phineas. "All math, right?"
"It should be," said Baljeet with a sigh. "But alas, there are exceptions. For example, Isaac Newton said that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. But according to the discoveries of Hannah, and Barbera, the needs of human comedy and drama can override the the rules. What if they give me a problem on the exam to compare the rebounding motion of a rubber ball with that of a cowardly but loveable Great Dane? How I wish everything were simple and mathematical!"
Ferb nodded and clicked his tongue.
Phineas grinned. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today! Hey... where's Perry?"
Perry the Platypus had slipped away down the house-side tube to his secret lair.
Major Monogram was on the screen. "Agent P, we have reports that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has stolen all the wigs in the Tri-State Area. He must be up to something evil. Your orders are to... stop him. Monogram out."
Perry saluted.
Carl's voice came from the background, "Hey, don't I get to talk this time?"
Monogram said, "This is my screen and I think you're getting too much of the attention."
Carl said, "Well, its my camera and I can control where it's pointing."
"Don't you dare!" said Monogram.
The screen showed a huge close-up of Carl, followed by a wild spinning view and sounds of a struggle, but Perry had already left.
Back in the yard, Phineas and Ferb were busy making diagrams of parabolas and writing equations with the help of Baljeet.
Isabella Garcia-Shapiro came over. "Hi Phineas. Whatcha doin'?"
Phineas said, "We've going to strengthen the laws of physics."
Isabella said, "Cool! But... what do you mean by that?"
Phineas said, "Allow me to explain, in song."
Hyperphysics
Have you ever noticed
When you step off a wall
If you don't look down
Then you will never fall?
Just imagine if that were not true,
If the law of gravity did not depend on you.
Hyperphysics!
A world of laws
Where effects all match their cause.
With no dramatic escape clause.
We want to do it. Just... because.
Have you noticed
When things fall from the air
Objects always
Land so neat and square?
Don't you think that
It would be more fair
If objects landed as if they didn't care?
Hyperphysics!
A world of laws
Where effects all match their cause.
Physics will function without a pause.
We want to do it. Just... because.
While the song was going on, Ferb put together a small black box with a red button on top and signaled to the others with a thumb's up.
Candice had come out into the yard during the song. She pointed to one of the equations on the board. "'F = ma'. Is this going to hurt Mom somehow?"
"That is a force equation. It says that it takes a great deal of force to accelerate a large object in a short period of time," Baljeet explained.
"And you guys are going to change things so that's always true? Heheheheh. Bring it on," said Candace.
"You'd like that?" Phineas asked.
That's my kind of world, where ginormous things can't just disappear in a second like they always do," said Candace. "I'll finally be able to bust you!"
Ferb pushed the button, and a wave of energy spread out from the machine.
