Authors Note: Entirely new. Not sure how this works... Oh well. Here is my first story, criticism accepted with much love.


It had been several years since Zim had been on planet Earth. He had no more intention of destroying the dirt-ball, however. He had been rejected by Irk, called a defect, and banished to Earth. Maybe one day, though, he would rule over the pitiful planet and make these stupid monkey-brains his slaves. Zim had lost interest in fighting with the Dib, and so he tried to keep the Dib-filth away. He just didn't understand, though. The huge-headed boy continued to put cameras in his house, and randomly barge into the poor Irkens base, yelling, "I know what you're planning!" and walk away. Both had changed, although not really a lot. Zim had stopped wearing his uniform, no longer being a part of the Elite armada. Instead, he wore black skinny jeans, especially made by his computer, since the alien was strangely too skinny for normal skinnies. Zim, having no experience in fashion, tried to wear something similar to his uniform. He wore a striped t-shirt, black and pink. It clung to him, although it was a little baggy. What he did keep, though, was his black gloves, and his combat boots. Altogether, these were the only things in his wardrobe that he continued to claim. He had grown to Dibs height, shorter by two inches. Dib had kept his outfit, but erased the apathetic smiley face, and gotten a black trench coat instead. He kept his glasses, continuing to have the scythe-lock on top of his head.

A new change was happening, and Zim didn't like it. This was something that would ruin everything. Even though he was no longer a part of the Irken armada, this could destroy his life on Earth. They were growing. Zim became angry, he hated this. Hopefully he could keep this secret hidden, with a little bit of effort. Sighing, Zim tightened the wrappings he had placed over them. "Certainly they'd stay flat for a much longer time, wouldn't they?" Zim thought aloud, the frown on his face growing. With a sigh of defeat, Zim relaxed his antennae, letting them curl into place as a female Irken's would. He was hoping he could stay seen as a male; he never liked being a female. They seemed very… emotional. Of course, Zim did not feel like these hyumans called gay. That had nothing to do with his plan. His work would be destroyed, all because of Irken anatomy. Even though most female Irken's breasts were suppressed when they were born, his wasn't. They would be growing. Not to mention he was in a growth spurt, his secret wouldn't be held much longer, but he would attempt to hide them anyways. Being called 'Zima' by the Dib-stink was something he would rather die than have.

Placing his black t-shirt back over himself, Zim stepped back from the mirror, exiting his bathroom. His feet tapped on the floor as he walked, echoing in the underground labs of his base on Earth. Entering the elevator, Zim started to rise to the surface with a simple, "Computer! Take me to the surface!" He reached the top level of the base, exiting through the lid of the trashcan. Looking around, he yelled, "MY BASE! GIR WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BASE!" Of course, Gir did not respond, simply continuing to stir the waffle batter, or at least what was left of it. In his happy daze, he maniacally stirred the batter, making it fly everywhere, landing on whatever it could. A fling of batter hit Zim's face, Gir somehow realizing this, turned to Zim.

"Master! I made waffles for you!" Gir shrieked happily, the metallic voice grating against Zim's poor antennas. He flinched visibly as Gir ran to him, jumping on his head. Caught off guard, Zim became unbalanced. He fell out of the trashcan, landing on the floor with a loud thump, detaching the batter-covered Gir in the process. Zim was now coated in batter, landing in a pile on the floor after Gir enclosed his head with the sticky ingredients. Immediately, Zim stood up, growling angrily as he stormed over to Gir. Stopping whatever he was doing(who knows), Gir stared at his Master with cyan blue eyes, his metal tongue sticking out. Lifting Gir up as high as he could, he turned the Sir unit until Zim found what he was looking for. Pressing his finger on a button, Gir turned off, going into sleep mode until Zim commanded him awake. Processing his thoughts, Zim ordered the Computer to clean up the kitchen and the living room as he went to clean himself off.

Gir sat on the couch, lifeless eyes facing the television as his favorite show came on. Zim was in the house, exiting his bathroom after fully dressing himself. He felt much cleaner, especially glad that the goo was off of him. With a turn of the doorknob, Zim army-marched out of the room, into the long corridors of the first-level of his base. "Gir! Awaken~ by your Masters command!" he yelled loudly when he reached the living room. Staring at Gir expectantly, the Invader watched as the little robots eyes faded back into color.

"Woooh! I'm a taco!" he yelled.

Glad that the Computer had cleaned Gir off as well, Zim responded, "Yes, yes. You are a stupid taco that I have NO use for."

His pak legs came out, handing Zim his purple contacts and wig. His antennae twitched, irritated as he put on the wig. After a few swift movements, Zim was out of his house, walking along the sidewalk. He was unsure of where he would go. He just wanted to walk somewhere to clear his mind of this problem. It was making him act strangely.

After several minutes of slowly shuffling down the streets, Zim realized where he had gone in his daze. Looking up at the house, he started to walk, wanting to go somewhere else. Hopefully the Dib-monkey would not realize him; Zim did not want to deal with the annoying hyuman right now. As Zim turned around to leave, he heard the door swing open. "ZIM! Why are you here? I know what you're planning! You stupid alien! My head's not big!" Dib yelled.

"I am not planning anything, Dib-filth. I am merely taking a walk. No, I did not state the largeness of your head, although it really is huge." With that, Zim walked away, leaving Dib to stand in his doorway.

I know he's plotting something! He always is! Maybe I should keep an eye on him… Dib thought, closing the door as he walked to his room.


First chapter? Don't know where this is going, maybe Zadr. Hopefully I will found out. =) Dunno if I should be saying he or she for Zim...