Happy father's day – a Michael westen story

Dear dad,

Happy father's day. I have so many things to thank you for.

For not wanting me to join the army – that was all mom.

For using me for your brainless schemes – not one ever worked because you always wasted the money on booze.

For shutting me in the closet more than once – I'm not scared of the dark now.

For picking on Nate – I have a decent sense of morality.

For that tiny scar on my face... yeah penknives don't always make good fists.

For making mom's life a living hell. Even now you're dead she's still scared to admit you were a bad person – great impression on her.

For never being there when we needed you. That left all shreds of responsibility on me. Thanks for that.

For being a dickhead – because now I can say 'fuck you bastard' and know I won't be hit with a 2by4.

So fuck you,bastard. I'm not celebrating your day.

With much hate,

Michael.