She decides that the tipping point is definitely when she sleeps with that sketchy tattoo artist so she could have Ryan Seacrest's picture inked into her body. Good little Christian Quinn would never even think of doing something so dirty. Forget the sex; even getting a tattoo is unsettlingly unlike her. (Correction, it's unlike the old her. She's a Skank now, and she doesn't even plan on going back.) She vaguely remembers her father saying something about body art being so indecent many years ago, but her father isn't around anymore, and that's kind of why she does it.
It all kind of starts when she opens a letter with no return address. She considers not opening it all, but she opens it anyways. She realizes it's from Sam when she has to type the whole thing into Google translate because she hasn't spoken Navi since they broke up. He doesn't bring up their relationship or her cheating; he just says that he's leaving Lima and that he and his family are very grateful for her helping them out in their time of need. At the end, he confesses that he and Mercedes had a relationship and asks her to watch over her. He tells her that she still has pretty eyes. She feels the real meaning behind his words and is suddenly glad that he left her with no way to write back.
Santana hits up her phone every day of Cheerios tryouts. She texts and calls and demands to know why only two thirds of the Unholy Trinity is in attendance. Quinn never replies, but she reads every single text and listens to every single call. She almost feels regret when she opens the box of pink hair dye after her voicemail delivers her a full five minutes of yelling in Spanish.
She doesn't feel fear as she walks into William McKinley on the first day of school. Come to think of it, she really doesn't feel anything at all. The first person to see her (and her new look) is Artie. The poor kid nearly wheels himself into the wall. She doesn't acknowledge him and doesn't let him know that she's seen him, but the sadness in his eyes after the shock makes her want to cut herself again.
She doesn't realize that anyone in the glee club genuinely misses her. She thinks Rachel is full of crap and is just fulfilling her team captain duties when she asks her to come back. What she doesn't know is that Rachel really does feel like a piece of the club is missing without her, Artie misses her, and all the others feel the same. She's never going to believe any of them, though, especially after Finn left her and Mercedes, her "best friend," hasn't really talked to her in a year.
It doesn't take long for Blaine to get an earful about Quinn Fabray "losing her mind." He remembers her from Kurt's house when Finn used to be dating her. He always wondered about her when she was suddenly replaced by the babbling brunette that was Rachel. He realizes he was wrong about thinking the glee club was exaggerating when he sees her, punk and all, walking down the hallway.
She wouldn't have flicked the cigarette on the piano if she knew it was covered in lighter fluid. Honestly, she wouldn't have. But she doesn't spend too much time feeling bad because she's a Skank now, and the Skanks don't feel bad about everything.
"You ruined my big entrance into McKinley High School."
"Who are you again?"
She remembers Blaine. How could anyone not remember the exciting event of Kurt Hummel getting a boyfriend? Plus, she had seen him all the time at Finn's house (Everything in glee club was always about Kurt, Rachel, and Finn.) But she pretends that she doesn't, because that makes her totally more badass.
"I know you remember me, Quinn. It's me, Blaine. Is everything alright?" he asks, because he could really care less about a grand entrance or a damn piano. He's one of those few good people who almost give her hope. But the key word is almost, so she just nods her head and turns away. Quinn sees his eyes go wide as she accidently allows the scars on her arms to be visible. She prays to god that the kid keeps his mouth shut.
She accidentally bumps into Tina and Mike the same afternoon as her little "conversation" with Blaine. It's another one of those situations when she actually has to talk to people, which pisses her off, because she really hates people. All they do is turn on you, anyways. She mumbles an apology and tries to walk away, but Mike grabs her arm. She raises an eyebrow and gives him a death glare. If he has something to say, he better say it.
"Uh, hi Quinn."
"Hello, Mike."
She plots the murder of Blaine Anderson from Ms. Pillsbury's office the following morning. She's trying to decide between strangulation and an old-fashioned gunshot as the big-eyed ginger lady babbles on and on about self-harm and how it's not worth it. She starts thinking of more painful options for Blaine when she hears that a call to her mother and weekly sessions in this office is required by law. Maybe instead of getting rid of her razors like Ms. Pillsbury suggested, she could use them for something else.
She actually decides not to kill Blaine because she doesn't want to eat prison food for the rest of her life until he walks up to her later that day after school. That kid has a lot of freaking nerve. She realizes that the hallways are empty except for a couple of kids going to various practices (she briefly wonders why he isn't at glee) so she doesn't even let him get a word in before she starts yelling at him. She just takes all her frustration and emotion and hurt from the past couple of months and takes it out on him. She screams about her not being able to trust him, because he's just like everyone else, and how it doesn't matter because nobody even cares about her anyways. After a few minutes she stops. This whole time, he hasn't even flinched. He's just watching her with a sad expression, letting her get it all out. There's something about the moment, something about the way he's looking at her that's very poignant to her. The tears start and she spends the afternoon crying into Blaine's chest.
Santana, being kicked out of glee, walks by on her way to Cheerios practice. The dark-haired girl has never been good about expressing her feelings, so she just simply presses a kiss to Quinn's cheek and pats Blaine's shoulder before continuing on her way. It's kind of the sweetest moment she's ever had with people other than Brittany.
Her mom is on another business trip when she gets home, and she's suddenly feels more alone than she ever has in her life. She replays the message on the home phone from Ms. Pillsbury a couple of times before deleting it. She knows that it would upset Blaine, but it's not like her mother would care anyway.
She quits smoking and quits the Skanks, but she doesn't change her look. She doesn't quit cutting either, but she does cut less often. She doesn't understand why it's so important that she quits, but she makes an effort to slightly change her habits so that Ms. Pillsbury isn't completely wasting their one hour a week together. (She's also doing it for Blaine and Santana, but she won't admit it, because getting close to someone always results in getting hurt.)
She finds out that Blaine didn't tell anyone besides Ms. Pillsbury, not even Kurt, and she's honestly quite impressed and sort of touched. A part of her never wants to see him again because he saw her break down, but she mostly does want to see him. He's the only one that really understands why she's gone down this road. (Because she screamed it at him.) She's also quite impressed by Santana, who keeps sitting next to her at lunch even though Quinn's not really up for interesting conversation at the moment. She thinks that she has two real friends in Ohio, and one somewhere else, even though she doesn't know how to contact him. It's kind of scary, but kind of comforting, too.
One day at lunch, she tells Santana about Sam's letter. Santana smiles sadly and says she really should have stolen someone else's boyfriend and given Quinn the chance to try and win him back.
"I let him go," Quinn whispers.
"I let Brittany go," Santana whispers back.
Even though she's always known, it's kind of the first time Santana admits to her that she's a lesbian. She's never felt so close to her.
Santana and Blaine team up and beg her to let them dye her hair back to blonde. She continually resists until she remembers that they might actually care about her. Sighing, she agrees to let them dye her hair, but not back to blonde. She wants to dye her hair back to auburn, its natural color.
fin
