I walked down the hall that used to be familiar. Since I had moved to the other side of the tunnels, I haven't come this way often. Sparks fluttered under my skin as another surge of anger seeped through.
"You shouldn't be going to her, girl," a voice in my head said for about the zillionth time. "She's the one who shudda apologized a loooooong time ago."
I rolled my eyes as the other voice spat back, "I'm tryin'a be the bigger person. She may have been wrong, but ya'll know she's as stubborn as a bull."
I flinched at the last word. Again, I stopped to take a deep breath, and then continued on my way.
I finally reached her door. Sheer aqua material hung as the door, and it's coupled with various hanging strings of blue and green beads. These made it seem as if I had to step past a waterfall to douse myself so I can see the girl inside. I gritted my teeth and pushed the "door" aside.
The whole room had been changed since I was last in it. It looked like Sharpay from High School Musical gave the ocean a makeover and dumped it in this tunnel room – minus the pink. Everything in the room was varying shades of blue and green and was covered in sequins or glitter.
On the queen size aqua water bed, Erin was laying on her stomach with her ankles crossed in the air. She was listening to her iPod doing her homework. As she noticed my movement, she looked up. She gave me a once-over before removing her ear buds and eyeing me suspiciously.
"What do you want?"
"I want to talk."
She held her scrutinizing glare a moment longer. She then gathered her stuff and set it on the glass, seashell-encrusted table on the left wall. She turned to me and put her hands on her hips. "Well?"
I stood my ground and matched her steely gaze. "Look, Erin…" My harsh façade faltered as I took in her flawlessly straightened blond hair, her pale, petal-soft skin, her soft pink lips molded into a pout, and her delicate, girlish face in a very unflattering scowl. I mean, really. If her face stays like that too long, she's gonna get wrinkles. Either way, I saw past her potentially wrinkle-causing expression into her sparkling blue eyes to the fragile girl on the inside.
She was lost without me. She was empty without her other half. She had depended on me for the last few years, and she felt as if I had abandoned her for something else. She didn't even know me anymore. I vaguely realized that this was exactly how I felt when my dad told me to stay in Tulsa. I understood perfectly why she has been acting like she has.
"Erin, look at us. What happened?" The backs of my eyes started to sting with an impending onslaught of tears. Blinking past my blurring vision, I saw that her eyes were watering as well.
"You changed." Despite her efforts to retain a steely voice, Erin failed epically. Her voice wavered, and I could tell it was all she could do not to turn away from me and cry so hard, her mascara would run.
"No, I haven't, Erin. I'm still the same-"
"No, you're not!" the blond shrieked, tears cascading down her face and immediately ruining her flawless makeup. "I don't even know who this girl in front of me is, walking around in Shaunee's designer-clad body! Where did she go? Tell me right now, or so help me, Nyx-!"
"Erin, calm down."
"NO!"
Suddenly, I heard it: the sound of the heavens breaking open and pouring out every tear shed over time, and the sounds of the ocean waves thrashing about, intent on destroying everything that got in their path. A shadow of a hurricane seemed to envelope my best friend as she began to pace. Her hair whipped in every direction, but the whirlpool didn't affect any of her things – just Erin, her hair, and her stylish clothes. "Where's my Twin?" she screamed. "Where's the girl I'd tell my every secret to? Where's my best friend who went shopping with me countless times for cute clothes, honestly telling me how I looked, and I reciprocated? Not to mention the times when we would scout for cute boys on the side at the mall. Where's the Shaunee that knew me better than I knew myself? Everything I thought I knew about you, 'Twin,' was all a lie."
"It ain't a lie. You knew what happened to me when I was Marked."
"Then why do you care so much now? It's over. It's done," she said, crossing her arms.
"Rephaim and I ain't so different. We just want a dad that gives a crap. Kalona seems to want to try. I'm gonna help him and Rephaim have what I never had."
"So, you want everyone to forget the past and trust this guy? Kalona was with Neferet – the most hateful creature out there! Even more hateful than Miss Hateful herself, which is mega surprising. Either way, we can't trust him," Erin said.
"I really don't think he's a big, bad bird-boy/god anymore," I said. "We should probably keep an eye out, but maybe give him a chance to be good. There has to be some good in him for him to be Nyx's ex-Warrior, give a crap about Rephaim, and pledge himself to Thanatos."
"-Of which I am extremely freaked out about!" she interrupted.
"But it doesn't matter right now. I want to fix this. What happened to us?" I asked. I saw that it caught her off guard. The storm stopped, the nastiness was wiped from her face, and her jaw went slack. Slowly, her expression made her look like a sad little girl who lost her dolly.
"I don't know. One minute everything was fine. The next, you're helping the enemy infiltrate our group. I don't know what to think."
"You think I'm the enemy?" It was my turn to shriek in outrage.
"No, no," she pleaded. "But…you've changed."
"How?"
"You're not like me anymore."
Then I understood. "Nothing has changed, but I've realized what is truly important. That newest Coach purse, the latest Versace dress, having at least 25 pairs of Jimmy Choos, none of that matters. Family and friends…they're what matter. I may not always be a shopaholic but having you as a friend…I don't want to lose that."
Erin caught my carefully chosen words. "As a friend…not a Twin." It was a statement.
"I'm my own person. I've realized that. My name isn't Twin, or Brain-Sharer, or Thing 2. My name is Shaunee Cole. I'm from Connecticut, and I only wish my dad loved me half as much as any of my friends do. If I can't have that, I'd like to make it happen for someone else. I'm not as fake or superficial as I used to be. I understand what's really important now."
"I don't know how to stand on my own," Erin confessed. "We've been so close for so long… I'm empty without my soul mate." Then the tears started to fall again. Slowly, at first, but they gained speed as the blond gave into her despair. Her mascara carved black rivers through her rosy cheeks. It took me a moment to understand.
"You said, 'soul mate.'"
Everything stopped, and Erin turned to me with a frightened expression, as if she was caught stealing a Tiffany bracelet. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, thinking of what to say. "I- uh- soul sisters." Her face told me it was a lie.
"Erin," I spoke carefully, almost like when you talk to a kitten or a puppy who might bolt at any sudden movement. "I know you. I know when you're lying." I sensed her heightening temperature even before I saw the blush creep into her cheeks.
Erin struggled to regain a harsh mask. Again, it failed epically, but she continued to say, "If you know me so well, why didn't you see it before?"
"See what?"
Anger added to her natural blush and the blush of embarrassment on her cheekbones. "As if you didn't notice." I stared at her blankly, until she exploded. "Like you couldn't see why it hurt so much to lose you, how it still hurts when you stand in front of me instead of next to me, like it should be!"
All of a sudden, it clicked. I was so astonished, my jaw dropped and almost hit the plush blue carpet. Not only did she see me as her best friend, but she saw me as her other half…in every way. "Erin…I had no idea…"
"Get out," she growls, her cheeks reddening even more. Her eyes began to fill with tears she refused to show, and she turned around to hide her face.
A pull in my gut decided my response. "No." I went to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. My chocolate mocha skin contrasted so sharply with hers, soft and the color of lily petals. Her perfume of choice today enhanced that thought. She turned to me, her eyes sparkling like ocean waves on a beautiful summer day. "Erin, I…" my mouth refused to say the words, though I do care about her. After I stared at her for, like, ever, and she stared at me, getting closer and closer to crying with every passing second, I did the only thing I could do.
I kissed her.
As my lips touched hers, she let out a small yelp of surprise. I held her by her shoulders carefully, so as not to have her crumble under my grasp. Erin held my arms tightly, keeping me to her. I stayed like that until I couldn't breathe anymore. I carefully pried myself from her grip to examine her reaction.
She looked so shocked, you'd think that Louis Vuitton announced that he was only going to design purses for Erin's private and giant collection of purses. She swayed slightly, and I had to resist reaching out to steady her. Instead, I said, "Erin, are you ok?"
She leapt at me like a crying little girl would attack her mother. Her tears mingled with her sugary sweet lip balm as she kissed me more passionately. I gave in and held her just as tight. For once, I didn't feel like Shaunee or a Twin. I felt like one person with Erin, but not in a Brain-Sharer way. It was like she was an extension of me. I thought I could only feel this way with a hunky, buff black guy with the voice of an angel…or maybe just Josh Hartnett. I was wrong.
When we exhausted ourselves, we lay on her bed and watched DVR-ed episodes of Nip/Tuck. On a commercial break while Erin is fast forwarding, I asked, "So, does this mean I can move back in?"
She paused the recording and looked up at me. "I think so," she said with a smile, giving me a quick kiss. She curled up close to me, and for the first time in a really really long time, I didn't feel alone. Everything felt right.
