If you don't handle angst well, this is your chance to walk away. If you've read one of my other stories (specifically "Regrets" and its prequel) then you know what I'm talking about. This, in my opinion, is worse.
Ye have been warned.
If you've read my profile recently, this is the story I'm talking about. I haven't had much time to write lately so I couldn't revise this properly. My apologies if there's an error or if it feels too rushed. I can't be bothered nor do I have the time to fix it. Maybe later.. ^^"
So, this is like an alternate AU to "Regrets" if you have no idea what I'm talking about. It's about to get pretty heavy down here, so prepare your tissues!
~ Say Goodbye ~
They were calmly walking through the graveyard, silently enjoying each other's company. Both had small, content smiles on their faces and their hands were tightly intertwined as they traversed through the familiar path with their destination clear in mind: their special place, Spiral Hill.
Today marked one year since that fateful Christmas, once when the Pumpkin King tried to be Santa Claus for a night. This Christmas Eve, things were certainly different. Jack and Sally were together since then, their courtship growing with each day. They both had also grown in their own way because of the yuletide experience. Sally had actually moved out of the doctor's manor, now living in a quaint little home in the residential part of town, and her relationship with her creator had immensely improved since what it had been before.
As for Jack, he had gained a new sense of purpose in life—or rather, afterlife— and renewed his love for Halloween. Ever since realizing his love for his dear Sally and knowing she loved him too, he was just bursting with happiness inside every day, which was so obvious that even the citizens noticed. The Mayor was actually delighted because Jack's romance with Sally gave him a new excitement for planning Halloween, which this year had turned out splendidly. His passion for the holiday and his place in this world was greater and clearer than it ever was, and it was all because of Sally.
She had made it all better when he felt he would drown in a sea of despair, and she had filled that gnawing emptiness in his bones (which he realized was actually longing for someone else to understand him) with her wonderful love. For a whole year, he has had the privilege—no, the honor of holding her love and feeling her affections, and now he knew he couldn't live without it.
He glanced briefly to his chest, where inside his interior jacket pocket he could feel the small velvet box he would give to her tonight. He was so nervous, so incredibly nervous, but happy nonetheless. He was certain of his choice; Sally was the one for him. Tonight, he would ask her to be his forever, and then he truly would be the happiest man in the world.
He imagined already how she would be as his bride, how beautiful she would look dressed in white, coming towards him down the aisle...
He sighed dreamily, a goofy grin on his face, which brought his partner's attention to him. She smiled a little as she realized how very happy he was, even just being here with her, but refrained from commenting on it. The look of worry she had been sporting moments before came back to her pale, stitched face, and she bit her lip, looking away from him.
She knew how happy he was (hell, the entire town knew), thanks in no small part to her, and she knew what she was thinking of doing would shatter that happiness completely. She had actually been putting it off for some months now, knowing how much it would affect him, but tonight, she knew she couldn't do that anymore. He needed to know this, and she needed to be honest with him and tell him how she felt. She couldn't just keep leading him on like this.
The truth was that being with Jack like this, as she had only imagined it long ago, wasn't all she expected it to be. Sure, he was kind and loving and even passionate at times, and she was happy she could make him as happy as he was now, but their relationship had many drawbacks that had made her think twice. She also didn't like how his status as King brought so much attention to them as a couple, since she was so shy and reserved all the time. She knew that wasn't his fault, of course, but she was bothered by it nonetheless.
Also, from the amount of attention the townsfolk had on them, she hated the pressure of everyone watching her and expecting their relationship to succeed. The citizens had begun asking already when were they getting married, and she for the life of her couldn't conjure up a suitable answer for that question. One of the things that had made her doubt in doing this and had made her take so long in making up her mind was that she knew the townsfolk would notice the change she had caused in Jack, some of them would even blaming her from crushing their leader's spirits.
She tried to hide this from him, of course, but it took a lot from her, pretending so much. She was very good at pretending, though, so she suspected he remained clueless about how she had been feeling lately. But she needed to let him know tonight, before this escalated, which she had a feeling it might by the vibes she was getting of a certain foreshadowing feeling. She felt like he had something else planned for tonight as well, and the thought of what it could be made her uneasy.
They finally arrived to the base of Spiral Hill and stopped for just a moment to admire the scene. The snow from last year had returned and the famed hill stood blanketed by a thin sheet of snow, the white powder giving it a magical atmosphere and making it the perfect spot for a romantic outing.
These were Jack's thoughts as he contemplated the view, a part of him remembering how he had looked at the same thing the year before, the only difference being Sally at the top, still unaware of his presence. He remembered the nervousness he had felt then, clear as day, and the small speck of fear that appeared briefly at the thought that maybe he had misinterpreted her actions and she would reject him because she didn't feel the same way about him.
He shook off the thought, even though it hadn't been on his mind only then and now. There were times he looked at Sally and doubted, a little, of her feelings for him. But then she would smile at him and the doubt would disappear as if it was never there. Unbeknownst to him, that doubt was what she was planning on letting him know tonight.
They climbed the hill together, and once at the top they stopped for a moment just to admire the view from here. It was even more beautiful than they remembered it: the snow gave a peaceful feeling to the graveyard, but the peacefulness didn't reach them. Jack was almost trembling with nerves by now, and all the doubts he had repressed by now came back full-force.
What if she wasn't ready? What if she didn't want to marry him?
...What if she said no?
What would he do then? If she said she wasn't ready, then they could wait..but what if she didn't want that? What if she didn't want to marry him..because she didn't want to be with him? He tried to shake the gloomy thoughts off, but for some reason they didn't want to be denied tonight...
Meanwhile, Sally had been thinking about all the things that had stopped her from doing this before; of how it would most likely suck out all the life that Jack had left in him, of how the townsfolk would blame her and look down on her for crushing their King, of how she would become almost a pariah in the community for not wanting to be with Jack, the most eligible bachelor in town...
But then a determined gleam came back to her eyes, and she knew that tonight, she would do this...regardless of the consequences.
"Sally?" Jack spoke up, a small tremble in his voice that she picked up on. He was nervous..but of what?
"Yes, Jack?" she replied, taking his other hand and smiling up at him.
He let out a breath, almost getting lost in her eyes. They were so beautiful and sparkled in the moonlight... He gulped, trying not to let his nervousness show.
"I brought you here tonight...to ask you something..." he began, his hold on her hands unconsciously tightening.
Sensing what he could have planned, she decided now was the time to tell him. She wished she could have done it at the end of the night, so they could enjoy a while of just being together, but it would be best if there was not beating around the bush. It was now or never.
"Wait, Jack..." she said as he was about to speak again. "I want to tell you something first."
A slightly concerned look came to his face which he hid immediately. He sighed, at least glad he would have a little more time to prepare for the big moment.
"Of course, Sally," he replied, managing a small smile. "You can tell me anything."
She cringed a little and looked away, wondering how to start. He didn't know what she was about to do would wipe that smile right off his face...
She sighed deeply, and then looked at him again. The determined gleam was back in her eyes, but this time it was accompanied by a barely noticeable glimmer of unshed tears. She didn't want to do this, she didn't want to make him sad...but she had to.
And so, before he could comment on her obvious sadness, she began telling him everything she had to tell him, every doubt and false smile explained until the tears began running down her cheeks, and still then, she kept going, only sheer determination keeping her standing and keeping her lips still saying those words which she knew were breaking his heart.
He just stood there frozen and took it all in with wide eye sockets, which by now were watering a little, although he refused to shed a tear in front of her. As soon as he had seen the tears in her eyes, he had known something was wrong, and he had felt as his heart became as fragile and vulnerable as it could be. When she began talking, though, he felt, more certainly than anything else he had felt before, his heart breaking into tiny pieces. He knew now that he wouldn't ever get to be happy again, much less as happy as he had been mere minutes ago.
"I'm sorry, Jack..." she said as she finished, letting go of his hands.
He instantly felt a deep emptiness wash over him at the loss of her sweet touch, one worse than what he had felt that last Halloween, and despite his efforts to keep them at bay, the tears began to flow from his eye sockets. Against his better judgment, he began speaking, his voice trembling and hoarse.
"S-Sally..." He swallowed hard to suppress a sob and choked the words out. "I-Is.. Is this r-really what y-you want, d-dear Sally?"
"I didn't want to make you sad, Jack..." she replied, reaching out to cradle his cheek in her hand. "But it's how I feel..." Feeling regretful, she tried to wipe some of his tears away, but they just kept coming.
He tried to enjoy what could very possibly be the last affection he would receive from her, but the sadness he was feeling overshadowed every other emotion in his heart. When she started to gently wipe his tears away, though, he just couldn't help himself and attacked her with a hug, winding his arms tightly around her. He didn't want to let her go, because he knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to hold her again. She reciprocated the hug after a few moments, feeling guilty for causing this.
"P-please d-don't leave me, S-Sally..." he whispered weakly into her hair, unable to hold back anymore the sobs that racked his skinny frame. She held him tighter, not wanting to reply to that. After a short while, she gently extricated herself from his embrace, pointedly looking away from him. She couldn't watch him like his, she couldn't stand it...
"Sally?" His low voice asked, sounding almost afraid.
"I can't do this anymore..." she whispered, stepping away from him.
Seeing she was about to leave, he reached out and grabbed one of her hands, holding her back. If she left, that meant...
"W-wait!"
"I can't stay, Jack, so don't make this harder than it is," she replied, her tone becoming firm for a moment.
His grip on her hand relaxed as he realized that she was right. Why did he want to prolong the suffering?
"I-I just..." He sniffled, trying to think of something, anything, that would make her stay, at least a little longer. And then it came to him. And despite how needy and pathetic he knew it would sound, he needed to ask her this... He needs this, just one more time...
"I wanted.. I-If you're willing, I-I just wanted to ask you... for one last kiss...before you leave..."
For just a second, a trace of the old Sally came back, the one he was once so sure was in love with him, and he let himself hope that somewhere inside, she still cared about him deeply. Almost imperceptibly, she nodded and stood in front of him again, wrapping her arms around his neck, and he instinctively held her closer by the waist, just as he had done countless of times before when they'd been about to kiss.
Just one more kiss won't hurt, she thought, trying to justify why she felt so compelled to give it to him. She closed the distance between them, their foreheads pressing together.
Their lips met slowly, deliberately, and, as if nothing had happened, they poured all their love into the kiss. For a moment, the world ceased to exist around them as they got lost in their affection for each other, his arms slowly moving as he held her flush against him, his fingers tangling in her hair.
It ended much too soon, despite the fact that it had been quite a long kiss for a goodbye kiss. His arms unconsciously let her go against his heart's wishes, and she released him as well. Before she turned around and left, she whispered one more thing.
"Goodbye, Jack."
And then he watched her walk away, the tears again beginning to pour down his cheeks. As he lost sight of her in the sea of tombstones, he felt as if he could hardly breathe, despite the fact that he didn't need to. His knees felt weak and he fell on the ground with a soft cry, the truth he didn't want to accept slowly washing over him.
She had left... She had left him.
She was gone.
And now he was all alone, in this haunted place which just moments before had seemed so happy and peaceful to him. After this, he knew he wouldn't be able to come here without remembering what had just happened, and the thought made another wave of sadness crash over him. This place that had always brought him solace in his toughest moments had now been burned in his mind as the place where his heart had been broken and his life had changed for the worse.
He began to cry again when all those things that had changed started to fill his mind. He wouldn't be able to hold her again, he wouldn't ever felt her lips on his again, or her soft touch on his shoulder when he was troubled about something, or run his fingers through her hair, or see that smile of hers which had charmed his heart every time he saw it. His sweet Sally...
No... She wasn't his Sally anymore.
He didn't know how much time he laid there, on his knees in the snow which was soaking his trousers. He felt empty, unwilling to do anything if it meant he had do it without her by his side. He'd wanted to spend the rest of his life at her side, wanted her to be by his side forever, but now that wouldn't ever happen.
I told ya it would be sad, didn't I? And before you question me why I write these sort of depressing things, I don't do it because I myself am depressed or because I enjoy making other people sad. That's not it at all. I think it's just that angst is what I write better, and my favorite character of all times is Jack.. So I enjoy coming up with different, never-before-written scenarios where I can make him sad. The bad side is.. he gets to suffer. In heart-wrenching ways. ^^" I am so sorry. xD
Anyways, please tell me what you think of it! :) And before you ask, yes, I am going to continue this. ('Though I'm thinking this one may not have a happy ending..) Just keep in mind that I'm about to start a new semester at college and I might not have too much time to write.. But this story is my new obsession so I might just have to make time, goddammit! xD
So, I'll see you in the next chapter. ;) Bye-bye! :D
(If anyone gets that reference, they are so going to be my new best friend.. xD)
