0----------0

James knew that he had to decide right then what he was going to do. If he was going to get married to Stacy, then he'd have to leave now and never look back. The thought of leaving Lily hurt him. The thought of her being alone hurt him. The thought of living without her, hurt him. Now, it hurt enough. He hurt enough now to walk away from his fake life. He smiled for the first time in five years.

"I'm staying."

Albus nodded gently. Sirius and Remus smiled to each other. They were so happy that James was finally coming to his senses. Sirius kissed his boyfriend before he joined James and Albus in moving Lily. They weren't going far, but James was taking extreme caution. Once they got her settled, Albus stayed with her. James and Sirius had wedding details to cancel.

0----------0

Lily felt his hand, and then heard his voice. She was comforted even though she knew that he would not stay long. He helped her escape from the others by pretending to battle with her. He had to keep up pretenses. This war was too big and too dark for anyone to discover a double agent. She tried to open her eyes, but they were too heavy and she closed them quickly. Apparently, that was enough for him to start in on her.

"My sacrifice means nothing if you get killed by willingly risking your life."

Lily's subconscious claimed her before she could say anything in response.

0----------0

Lily saw him standing in the doorway of room. The tattoos special features worked just as well as at school. No one knew where she went; no one except him. She left her family the moment she could, and had been living at the Leaky Cauldron until school began again. She noticed his stance. His eternal pride and the privilege to which he was born showed in his every movement.

"I told you not to contact me."

Lily could tell that he was deciding whether to enter the room so that no one would see them, or to stay out in the hallway so that it was easier to create an alibi should he need one.

"I know you did, but you said so many other things that night. How am I supposed to know which one you actually meant?"

"You know damn well that I can't be seen with you."

"Then perhaps you should close the door."

He took another second to decide his course of action before he took a step in and closed the door behind him. He saw her. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, as it was the only piece of furniture in the little apartment, with her long, red hair hanging down around her face. His hands flexed from wanting to reach for her. He watched her get off the bed and walk over to him. She got very close and reached out to him. He flinched back.

"Say what you intended for me to hear, but make it quick."

She withdrew her hand and stared at him. She sat back down on the bed and looked into his dark eyes.

"This is the last time, and I promise not to bother you again."

She looked down at her hands. She knew that he didn't want to discuss it, but she needed to hear it one last time before she could begin to accept his decision. He felt her inner turmoil. He walked over to her and reached down to touch her hair. He spoke quietly.

"You are not a bother, but I've already explained why we can't be together anymore."

"There has to be another way. This can't be the only option. It can't be."

"If there was another way, don't you think that between the two of us that we would have found it by now? This is the only way that will work. I don't have a choice and neither do you."

"We could go to Dumbledore. Surely he can help us."

"No. I've already told you why I will never go to him for help. Besides, I'm still not convinced that he's not a part of this somehow. His past is dark."

"Oh come on, he defeated Grindlewald. He is a hero for the light."

"That doesn't mean that he isn't playing a part in this."

This argument never got them anywhere. She refused to distrust Dumbledore, while he refused to trust anyone blindly. It stood as just one more way that they complimented each other to perfection.

"Stop prevaricating and get to the point."

Lily looked up at him with all the sadness that had built up inside of her for the past four months.

"From this point on, you will not have anything to do with me, correct?"

"Correct."

"And this is so because you must protect me from Voldemort?"

Snape hissed.

"Don't say his name, Lillian. He knows when someone is calling to him. You mustn't say his name, nor should you do anything to bring attention to yourself. To do this will only attract his attention to you more so that it already is."

"You cannot even secretly meet me sporadically to just spend time with me?"

"No, I can never have anything but contempt for you as far as everyone else is concerned."

"So we're back to pretending to hate each other?"

"With us both being such good pretenders, it's worked for the past three years."

"What am I supposed to do without you? Go back to pretending to be perfect for everyone?"

"You are supposed to let him see you. James can give you exactly what you want. He loves you, and he can give you a life without darkness. He doesn't expect you to be perfect. He just wants you to trust him."

"He knows something's wrong. He wanted me to stay with him instead of here."

"That would have been safer than staying here."

"You are actually encouraging me to fall in love with James."

Lily tried to get up to cry in the corner where he couldn't see her, but he caught her hips as she turned to move. He brought her down into his lap and moved his hands to cradle her face mere inches from his own. Lily inhaled his scent of saffron and mugwart. He looked deep into her emerald eyes with his own and spoke passionately to her.

"I love you. I am in love with you, and that is not going to change. You can be safe or you can be near, but I cannot protect you if I am with you. I refuse to be the reason that you die, Lillian."

Her tears always affected him like nothing else because she did not cry for the insignificant. He watched her fight against Death Eaters and dark followers. They'd broken bones and gashed out her flesh, and not once had she cried. Voldemort himself had tortured her for days before she was rescued and he was angry because she would not break.

"James can keep you safe and he can love you."

"He will never be you."

"Knowing that is the only reason that I can give you up, but you will learn to love him in your own way that will replace the hurt that I must leave you with."

Silence engulfed them as Lily cried for the love that she must somehow learn to forget. He cradled her and rocked her gently without saying anything until she stopped crying and just clung to him.

"You'll need to leave this place tomorrow."

He told her knowing that if someone knew she was the one that he visited then all of this pain would be for naught.

"I'll owl James and see if the offer still stands."

He nodded his head. Tonight was the last time that he could hold her like this. He must never allow her to lure him in like this again for her own safety. In a few weeks, he would join the Dark Lord and if he was good enough to get within the inner-circle, then maybe, he could keep Lily safe and off the Dark Lord's radar.

0----------0

"What the hell are you doing here, Murderer?"

Lily heard James' voice and felt the hand holding her own tense slightly. Then, she heard the voice that had been scolding her earlier speak to him.

"I am here because you had better things to do today than to stay here with her."

James nearly growled in anger.

"I left to correct a mistake that almost took place, but I am back now and won't be leaving. You however will be."

Lily felt the tug on her hand as he tried to get up and move away from her. She grasped it tighter. She opened her eyes long enough to see the two of them facing off.

"Stop."

James rushed over to her bed, and Severus turned back to her.

"You're awake, Lily!"

"Very observant Potter."

"You're the one who put her here, Eater. Why don't you leave before you cause…"

"Stop you two."

Each man looked contrite at having to be asked twice by the woman that he loved to behave. Each took one side, opposite of the other, of Lily and grabbed a hand.

"Lily, how long have you been awake?"

"How would she know, Potter?"

James looked at Lily who still had her eyes closed but was probably listening. He watched as she squeezed Snape's hand. Severus looked at James.

"She woke up a few hours ago, but not for very long."

"Why didn't you come and get someone?"

"I've monitored her."

"I should have been notified."

"You are supposed to be getting married. I didn't think you would be aware that Lily was here at all. She hasn't seen you in over five years. Why would you be here when she needs you this time?"

James stood up abruptly. Severus followed his rise with his eyes. Lily spoke quietly.

"Severus, not now."

Snape looked as though he wanted to argue, but refrained from doing so until later.

"James, can you let us talk for a few minutes?"

"I need to talk to you about some things Lily. Severus can wait."

"Potter, she requested your absence. I will not be so polite."

"She will want to hear what I have to say."

"James, you and I can talk after Severus and I are done talking, but right now I need the room with him."

James looked at her in disbelief. To be fair, she still thought that he was with Stacy. He kissed her forehead and walked past Severus to exit the room. Once he was outside hearing range and the door securely magiced against intrusion, Severus sat back down next to Lily. He started to speak, but Lily interrupted him.

"No lectures, please."

"Alright. How are you feeling?"

"Like I was attacked by a room full of followers."

Lily tried to smile but the swelling in her face made that hurt. She felt Severus place his hand on her head and rub his thumb across her forehead where James had kissed her seconds ago.

"Wiping it off?"

"As much as I can."

"Sev, we told his fiancé about the baby."

Severus' thumb stopped moving as did his lungs stop breathing. He was absolutely still until Lily pulled him forward to lay his head on her chest. He was completely somber. Lily spoke.

"I didn't tell them."

"They should know what I did. James at least."

"Do you want him to hurt you?"

"James should know that I murdered his daughter."