He and I had something beautiful
Derrick and I always brought out the best in each other. We challenged one another with our witty comments and our intense personalities. I thought we were the perfect match. Our hands fitting perfectly into the others. Almost as if we were a puzzle piece.
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
Yes we fought from time to time. Ok, I'm lying; we fought about 90 of the time. It was our thing, but I guess our thing couldn't last for long.
I loved him so but I let him go
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back
I saw the way he stared at Rivera. It was the same way many other boys stared at her. Full of lust. I had to let him go. How could I not? He never looked at me in that way…
Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm Massie-freaking-Block. I never feel this way. No one has ever had this effect on me. Until now…
I'm still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious
I can't believe it's over. What happened to us? We used to be the Brad & Jennifer of our school. "We're gonna make it" Derrick promised while taking my hand in his. "I'll love you through the thick and thin. We're gonna make it" he than placed a soft, sweet kiss onto my delicate, petite hand. So many things have changed since then. What went wrong?
Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
I'm doing much better now. I'm back to my old-self. The self observed, prissy, high-maintenance self. I liked the way I was when I was with him. My outer shell became softer and I was more care free than I am now. I didn't shop as much and I actually looked into learning how to play soccer…just for him. But, now I'm back to being me. Shopping 24/7 with Alicia and Dylan. Yes, I'm still friends with Alicia. She was my best friend before he came along and I have more strength to look past this little…detail. I'm holding my annual Friday night sleepovers again and even accepting some sour gummies from Claire. I've been feeling gutsy. I'm getting better, everyday. But, it's taking oh so long.
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
He's gone now. Off with some stupid eighth grader and I'm ok with that. But, the sad truth is that it's getting harder and harder for me to move on every waking day. Why does he have this effect on me?
Yet, I'm better near to you.
Even though it is painful, being near him. I feel better then I do when I'm alone. A spark is lit in my heart and my knees start to quiver. I better near to him.
Not everything works out the way we want it... Review please! :)
xxEmilyKearseXX
