How I Met Your Mother: The Origins of Trunks' Birth

The air was still as Chi-Chi, Bulma, Master Roshi, Yamcha, Tien, Oolong, and Puar peered into the sky, waiting anxiously for the "Z-Fighters", as the press had dubbed them, to return from their journey. For a while, the only sound was the wind as it blew the dying leaves around the field. Occasionally a bird would chirp, or a squirrel would scurry across the grass. Aside from that, complete and total silence had enveloped the plain.

Suddenly, a bright golden flame appeared in the sky, just a few feet away from the sun. Master Roshi cupped his hand over his shades and looked up.

"Is that…?" he began to say, as several more flames appeared next to it, some white and some the same color.

"It is!" Chi-Chi said, suddenly very ecstatic. "It's them!"

"Hurray!" Bulma cried.

The flames began to enlarge as they got closer, and after a while everyone could see that each flame had a person inside. Soon they landed: Goku, Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo, and someone else that Bulma didn't recognize. He had spiky black hair that stood straight up and thick brows that were furrowed; either in concentration or anger, she couldn't tell. What she could tell was that this new man, whoever he was, was kind of…cute.

"We're back everyone!" Goku said. Chi-Chi began to sprint forward, and Goku spread his arms, expecting her to be heading for him. However, she zoomed right pass him and nearly tackled her son, Gohan, with an embrace.

"Oh my baby, are you alright?" she asked, sorting through Gohan's hairs, apparently counting the number to see if any were missing. Then she swiveled him around, inspecting him thoroughly, even as Gohan insisted:

"Mom, I'm fine…"

"Yeah, Chich," Goku began, as he approached his wife. "Me and the guys took good care of him. You don't have to—"

"Back off, Goku!" Chi-Chi roared, causing Goku to recoil in fear. "You and your guys are going to get my baby killed!"

"Chich, calm down!"

"DON'T YOU 'CALM DOWN' ME, YOU BIG LUMMOX! I'M SERIOUS, THE NEXT TIME YOU DRAG MY GOHAN INTO ONE OF YOUR OUTINGS I AM GOING TO…"

She covered Gohan's ears thoroughly, making sure he couldn't hear what she said.

"Are we clear?" she asked afterwards.

Goku nodded vigorously.

"Good."

She turned back to Gohan. "Okay baby, let's go get you washed up."

She began to walk, but Gohan stayed behind.

"Mom, I'm thirteen years old," Gohan said, sighing. "I can wash myself. And, you know what; I don't even want to take a bath. I'm tired."

Chi-Chi froze in her tracks, turned on her heel, and knelt closer to Gohan.

"Sweetie? You want to know something?" she asked, her voice a steely calm. She didn't wait for an answer; she just dove into the rest of the lecture.

"I don't care how old you are. I am, was, and forever will be your mother. And let's get something else straight, mister 'I'm tired': I carried you in my stomach—mine—for nine and a half months."

Gohan looked up at Goku, who looked like he was about to try to help out, but Chi-Chi put an end to that.

"Uh-uh, don't look at him! It was me—me—who had to deal with your incessant kicking and for all I know, maybe even punching! It was me who had to deprive myself of my favorite desserts: red velvet cake, ice cream, chicken, because I didn't want my baby to grow up and be a dope like his…"

She stopped herself and looked up at Goku. Then back down to Gohan.

"…You put me through H-E-double hockey-sticks to bring you here, mister. So if I say let's get you washed up, you will get washed up. If I say after that go do your studies, you will do your studies. And I better not ever hear the words 'I'm tired' come out of your mouth again, as long as you live, or so help me I'll—"

She calmed herself before she said something she'd regret.

"You will go wash up…now." she said, returning to her original cordial tone, if only a tad out of breath. Gohan nodded and ran off to the house, with almost super-human speed. Chi-Chi muttered something under her breath and walked after him.

Goku exhaled deeply and rubbed the back of his neck. He began to walk into the house to cool off. It wasn't that warm—at all really—but he'd just been flying very closely to the sun, and its heat hadn't quite worn off yet. But as he walked to the house, dreaming about spending the rest of the day in his air-conditioned room, sipping tea and taking a nap, he was stopped in his tracks by Bulma.

"Oh hey Bulma!" he said, perking up.

"Hey Goku. Can I ask you a question?" she whispered.

"Sure, shoot!"

"Who's that guy?" she asked, pointing in the direction of the spiky-haired, thick-browed man who was busy scowling beneath the shade of a tree.

"Oh, that's Vegeta. He's new to the crew," Goku said, smiling. "He's kind of rough on the outside, but all around he's a cool guy. Would you like to meet him?"

"Yes I would," Bulma said, walking ahead. Goku just went inside his house, too hot to follow. As she approached the man she now knew to be Vegeta, she fixed her hair as much as possible (it was already perfectly fine) and straightened her vest. When she wasn't even twenty feet away he looked up at her. His expression was unreadable, which bothered her.

"Hi," she said when she finally reached him. "I'm Bulma."

Vegeta studied her, looking her up and down, and then spoke.

"Hello." His voice was gruff and cold, but that only attracted Bulma more.

"I can tell you're not from around here. You have a nice tan," she said.

Vegeta just stared.

Stupid, stupid line. Bulma thought. Pull yourself together, Bulma, your acting like a guy.

She cleared her throat and continued.

"Those," she began, gesturing toward his biceps. "Did you have to work out to get those or, I don't know, do they come naturally…?"

Vegeta then let out a small, but audible chuckle.

"All Saiyans are born with these," he said proudly. "Would you like to feel?"

He flexed his right arm, and his huge muscles bulged and expanded. Bulma looked at him, and he nodded, smiling mischievously. Slowly, Bulma raised her hands and wrapped her fingers around his arm.

"Oh my…" she said, breathlessly.

My lord, she thought. I can't believe I used to date Yamcha.

"That's not all," Vegeta said. He began to lift his arm, raising Bulma, who still clung to his forearm, a foot off the ground.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed, completely amazed. Vegeta simply continued to chuckle. At first, no one else noticed. Then Piccolo saw.

"What. The. Hell?" he said.

"What is it Picc—" Krillin asked, catching his tongue when he saw the spectacle. "Oh. Well that's…odd."

"Is he serious?" Yamcha asked incredulously. "Who does he think he is?"

Back beneath the tree, Vegeta and Bulma were having the time of their lives. Vegeta kept performing incredible feats of strength, as Bulma would "Oh!" and "Ah!" at them. Finally, when he was done, Bulma asked:

"So, Vegeta, I was wondering, maybe you want to go out sometime? I mean, I know it's rushed, and I completely understand if the answer's no—not that I, like, want you to say no; I'd very much like to go out with you, but—look, I know how feeling rushed is, and I totally hate it, so if you say no I totally understand, and—"

Vegeta clamped his palm over her mouth. He held it there for a few minutes.

"I'm going to let go now," he began. "When I do, I don't want to hear another word out of your mouth."

He let go, and Bulma kept her mouth closed.

"As for your question…I suppose it wouldn't hurt to date a human."

Bulma suddenly felt incredibly light-headed. She started to wobble and Vegeta grabbed her shoulder. She smiled and told him she was fine. She grabbed his hand.

"Someone wake Goku up, he's got to see this!" Krillin said. Tien ran in and came out a couple of minutes later with Goku. As he stumbled out the door he rubbed his eyes and groaned.

"Why the hell did you guys wake me up…WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING VEGETA?"

Vegeta looked up and quickly snatched his hand off of Bulma's shoulder.

"Nothing. I'm just, standing here, underneath the tree," he said, clearing his throat.

"You were just caressing Bulma's shoulder," Goku pressed.

"No, I was not."

"You were."

"Was not."

"You were, and I've got seven other witnesses."

Goku paused for a minute. "You're in love, aren't you Vegeta?"

"What? In love? Kakarot, have you gone mad?" Vegeta exclaimed. "I am the Prince of Saiyans! I do not love!"

"Yeah okay Vegeta, keep playing that card," Goku said, smirking. "Vegeta: The Family Man. Yeah, that's got a ring to it."

"You incompetent PEASANT!" Vegeta roared, flying toward Goku. He threw a punch, but Goku easily dodged it and laughed.

"Jeez, Vegeta, it was a joke. Calm down."

Vegeta turned back toward them, fuming. Then, without a word, he flew off toward the jungle. The rest started laughing after him, chanting:

"Vegeta and Bulma, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the Saiyan in the baby carriage!"

Even the notorious kill-joy Piccolo was laughing and singing along. They all turned and looked at Bulma, who was furious. The smiles melted right off their faces.

"You're all a bunch of little kids. You're all just huge jerks, you know that?" she hissed. Then she ran off after Vegeta.

After he'd flown away, Vegeta had found a nice, tall, strong tree and sat down on one of the branches. His pride had been hurt. So he did what he'd always done in these situations, even as a small child- he isolated himself. In his younger years he might've spent his alone time scheming of ways to destroy the bullies as painfully as possible. He'd like to think he'd matured since then (he really hadn't). Instead, he just sat on the branch and stared at the moon, scowling heavily.

Suddenly he heard someone call his name. He looked down. It was Bulma.

"Vegeta, get down here!" she called.

"What do you want, woman?" Vegeta snapped.

"Aren't you going to help me up?" she asked, reaching out a hand. Vegeta stared at her for a while, before turning away.

"No. Leave me in peace," he snarled.

Then he heard the grunts of exertion and turned around to see that Bulma was actually climbing the tree. She kept slipping but always managed to regain footing.

"What… are you doing?" Vegeta asked, genuinely confused.

"I'm climbing a tree," Bulma said in-between grunts.

"I realize that, but why?"

"Because you need someone to keep you company."

Before Vegeta could even begin to form a reply in his mind, Bulma yelped in surprise as she slipped and began to plummet toward the ground. She had made it about fifteen feet up, and a fall from that height would surely break some bones. As ruthless as Vegeta could be, even he couldn't just let a woman fall fifteen feet. Faster than the blink of an eye, he flew down underneath her and caught her.

"Nice save," she said, catching her breath. "Now, are you going to take me up there, or do we have to go through this whole thing again?"

Sighing in disgust, Vegeta levitated slowly up to the branch where he'd been sitting and sat Bulma down next to him. For a while they simply sat there in silence, looking at the moon, which was abnormally large tonight.

"Sorry about my friends back there," Bulma began. "They can be really immature."

"They think I'm weak," Vegeta growled. "And I am. I fell for an Earthling woman and disgraced my Saiyan honor."

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" Bulma asked defensively. Vegeta refused to look at her.

"Alright mister, I've had enough of your whining," she said. She grabbed his head and swiveled it around.

"I like you. You like me. Th—"

"I don't—" Vegeta began to interrupt, but Bulma silenced him with a pinch on his shoulder. He took in a sharp breath and snarled but said no more.

"That's all that matters," Bulma continued. "So stop being a brat."

Vegeta was smoldering.

"I haven't had anyone talk to me like that since I was a child," he said.

"Well then it's about time, I'd say."

They sat for a while, simply staring at each other. Then Bulma closed her eyes, puckered her lips, and began to lean forward. When she didn't feel another pair of lips touching hers, she opened an eye. Vegeta was staring at her like she was insane.

"Is this some kind of Earthly gesture I've yet to learn?" he asked.

"It's called a kiss. Did they do that on your planet?"

"Well, yes, but usually it was the male that initiated such gestures."

Bulma rolled her eyes. Vegeta finally caught on.

"Oh…you were expecting me to lead…"

"Yeah, let's just pick up from where we left off."

Slowly, and a bit awkwardly, Vegeta leaned forward and planted a kiss on Bulma's lips. He then grabbed her face and stroked it lovingly. She returned the gesture, and they sat there for a full three minutes just like that. They heard a rustle in the grass and looked down to see Gohan staring up at them, holding a basket full of apples in one hand and an apple in the next.

"Hey, Gohan," Bulma said, dragging out the 'hey' and smiling. "What's up buddy?"

"I…was just collecting these apples for Mom…" he said, still stunned.

"Then you'd better run along. It's getting late!" Bulma said.

"Oh it's fine, Mom said I could stay out until—"

"Maybe you didn't hear her, kid," Vegeta said. "So let me re-phrase it: SCRAM."

Gohan nodded hurriedly and ran off.

"He's a good kid," Bulma sighed.

"Now," Vegeta said, smiling mischievously. "Where were we?"

Bulma giggled as he kissed her again.

Vegeta and Bulma later descended from the tree and began to stroll, hands entwined, through the forest. They talked for the entire walk, and while most of the talking was simply Vegeta bragging, Bulma was engaged the whole time. After a brief silence, Bulma spoke.

"So, what would it take for the girl to get the stupid guy into her house?"

Vegeta was taken by surprise, but quickly overcame that. "Not much."

"Good, because I really need company."

They walked back to the clearing, where the others were still sitting outside. They (with the exception of Yamcha) stared and snickered slightly, but Vegeta simply ignored them, smiling. Then he locked eyes with Yamcha and, still smiling, thrust his pelvis twice and gestured toward Bulma. The angered Yamcha simply flipped him off and turned the other way.

Eleven months later…

"And that, my son, is what lead to the series of events that would eventually create you," Vegeta said to his baby boy, Trunks.

"It's so sweet to see you telling our son a story," Bulma said, practically glowing with happiness.

"Yeah well, don't get used to it." Vegeta stood up. "He won't be hearing any more stories from me."

"Come on Vegeta; be nice to our little Trunks. He's only a baby. Am I right little cutie?" Bulma cooed to Trunks, who in turn began to gurgle happily and reach out to her.

"Awww, you're so cute! Yes you are, yes you are!"

"Woman, you're making the strange faces again," Vegeta warned.

"No I'm not," Bulma denied.

"And don't baby him, he's a warrior," he said, walking over and lifting Trunks out of his baby seat and holding him above his head. Bulma smiled and rested her chin on her husband's shoulder and wrapped her arms around his chest as he spoke:

"My little warrior."

FIN