Warning now – M-rated for violence and abuse

Rin watched the other boy in his bedroom, completely oblivious to the set of eyes on his back, observing his every movement, glaring as the younger boy stared down at his phone.

Nitori was texting his English tutor again, the regret sat heavy in Rin's stomach with every tinkle from the phone. When he'd been asked by the younger boy for help in English he'd flat out refused, not wanting to waste his time on a hopeless student.

So, instead, Nitori had gone to see Mikoshiba, who had suggested a friend of his and thus Nitori now had some third year teaching him.

It hadn't bothered Rin at first but soon Nitori was gushing about his latest senpai, he adored him. Granted it was not as much as he adored Rin but it was still enough to anger him. Nitori just seemed to worship anyone older than him, who had a skill that he craved. It was probably the reason he followed Rin around, complimenting him, supporting him, despite the fact he'd done nothing to earn such loyalty.

Kai-senpai.

It was a name that Rin was hearing far too frequently around his room.

Kai-senpai.

It had taken weeks for Rin to finally get Nitori to go from Matsuoka-senpai to Rin-senpai, and even now he still slipped up on occasion. And yet, Kai-senpai had been on a first name basis as soon as he met Nitori, obviously taking quite a shining to Nitori, but then Rin could hardly blame him. He was sunny, friendly, always had a smile on his face, it was almost impossible to dislike him.

It seemed, that all the things that Rin liked about Nitori, Kai thought exactly the same and wasn't shy about showing it, and that was what annoyed Rin the most.

Kai-senpai says I'm really smart and I'm making great progress.

Kai-senpai says when I smile it lights up a room.

Kai-senpai says I look really cute when I'm concentrating.

Kai-senpai says he can't help but smile when I laugh.

Kai-senpai says he really enjoys my company.

And although Rin didn't begrudge the boy compliments, he deserved them more than anyone, he just hated the source at which they came from.

Nobody should make Nitori blush, fluster as he smiles except Rin. He knew it was pathetic and overly possessive considering their relationship had only just strayed from roommates to friends but he still felt like Nitori was his.

He was his little shadow whenever he turned around, his little smiling face early in the mornings, his tired little eyes at night, his little ray of sunshine if he'd had a particularly hard day.

But recently he seemed to be straying, spending more time with his tutor than was necessary for a simple educational relationship.

"Is it normal for a tutor to text you at half seven at night?" Rin asked, finally breaking the silence between them.

"Eh?" Nitori asked, finally pulling his gaze away from his phone. "How did you know it was Kai-senpai?"

"Just a wild guess." He shrugged, knowing full well Kai was the only one who text Nitori so frequently.

"Oh, okay." Nitori said, turning towards his phone again as the familiar jingle filled the room, causing Rin to sigh and turn his back towards him.

He forced his eyes shut as he listened to the tap of keys as Nitori typed out a reply, the familiar creak of his chair as he forced himself up, the pad of his feet as he walked towards the bed.

"Matsuoka-senpai?" He asked, Rin cringing slightly at the name.

"What?" He answered roughly, refusing to look at the other boy.

"Can I ask you something?" Rin could hear the embarrassment in his voice, the slight shuffling indicating he was toeing the floor with nerves.

"Sure." He said, slightly softer, turning over on his bed.

"How can you tell if someone is flirting with you?" Nitori's small voice questioned, eyes never leaving the floor.

"What?" Rin exclaimed, eyes widening slightly at the question. "Why do you need to know?"

"Kai-senpai text me to ask to go around to see a movie and I just think that he's…" Nitori trailed off, not ready to admit someone might be flirting with him. "But I'm not sure. What do you think?"

Rin suddenly felt himself being blinded by Nitori's phone, thrust into his face. With a groan he reached out and grabbed the phone, taking the opportunity to read over the sort of conversations Kai was having with his Nitori.

As he read Rin could see that Kai was quite blatantly flirting with the younger boy, Nitori completely unaware that he was harmlessly flirting back. What Nitori considered friendly this sleaze would clearly take as a green light.

"No, he's not flirting with you." He lied, hoping to nip this potentially blooming relationship in the bud.

"You're sure?" Nitori questioned, taking his phone back from Rin's outstretched arm.

"Positive. It's just friendly banter." He decided, although saying Nitori looked good in his skin tight swimsuit wasn't what he considered to be 'friendly banter'.

"So it would be okay if I went round his tonight?" He tentatively asked, wanting his senpai's opinion before he committed.

"Do whatever you want." Rin shrugged, acting as if the thought of spending a night alone didn't bother him in the slightest.

"It should be fine, you and me watch films alone all the time and it doesn't mean anything." Nitori mumbled, slightly watching Rin out the corner of his eye.

The older boy was completely unaware of the gaze, and that his response to Nitori's statement would determine whether he went out tonight or not.

"Exactly, it means nothing." Rin harshly bite out, once again turning his back towards the younger boy.

"Alright." Nitori sighed, turning his attention back to the phone. "I guess I'll go then."

"Great." He huffed, folding his arms across his chest as the familiar tap of Nitori's fingers against his phone echoed in his ears.

Rin listened for the past half an hour as Nitori flitted around their room, the overpowering smell of his shower gel floating in from the bathroom. He felt like he was watching the other boy get ready for a date as he primped and preened himself for movies.

He painstakingly watched as Nitori worried about what shirt to wear, made sure his hair fell in the perfect place, made sure his teeth were clean and breath minty fresh before he squeezed his eyes shut to block it out.

Without opening his eyes, Rin could judge just by the creaks of the floorboards exactly where Nitori was, he'd left the bathroom and headed for the door, the lack of noise indicating that he was hesitating.

"Have fun." Rin croaked, his voice hoarse from not being used for such an extended period of time.

"Thanks Matsuoka-senpai. I will." Nitori quietly replied before slipping out the room, pulling the door behind him with a click.

Rin lay in the silence for a while, his own breathing the only sound to be heard until he moved, he would not lie pathetically waiting until Nitori returned he would do something, take his mind off the smarmy boy entertaining him for the night.

He'd take a run, clear his head and hopefully tire him out so he could sleep without worrying constantly about Nitori. He pushed himself off the bed and went to grab his jacket, hanging off his desk from where he'd thrown it earlier.

As he flicked his jacket through the air, Rin managed to knock Nitori's precarious tower of books and watched as they all sloped to the floor. With a groan, he walked over the books planning to clear the mess but instead he kicked them across the floor in frustration, gaining immense satisfaction from watching as the pages scattered.

Before he could stop himself, he threw his arm across the wooden top sending more papers flying and the cow teddy Nitori was overly attached to. His pens and pencils noisily clattered to the ground and a mug smashed against the laminate flooring that he wasn't even aware was on the desk until this moment.

Rin clenched his fists at his side, watching as the cold tea spread across the floor from the now broken mug. Half of him itched to clean up the mess, organise the room to relieve his stress and the other needed to get out. And with his jacket clutched tightly in his hand that side won out.

Slinging it over his tank top he fled from the room, trying to get his mind off the disorder and Nitori a few doors down.

When Rin returned the room was still in the same chaos as when he left, and still missing one bubbly boy. He sighed and walked towards his bed, ignoring how his foot slightly stuck to the floor as the tea dried.

He threw himself down onto the bed as the springs creaked under his weight, he wished he could hear the same noise from above. Confirming Nitori was home and that he was safe. Instead he was met with more silence, some nights he prayed for this as he heard Nitori prattle on about his day or snuffle in his sleep but now that he got it he wished it would go away.

The sound of key in a lock caused his heart to leap into his throat and beat in double time.

"Eh?" Nitori cried out, taking in the destruction of their room. "What happened?"

He pulled the door shut after himself, carefully avoiding the broken ceramic on the floor.

"I'm tired of you leaving your shit everywhere." Rin bluffed, refusing to admit to himself why all Nitori's belongings were spread across their room.

"Oh, right. Sorry senpai." He apologised, walking over to the older boy's bed and perching on the end.

Rin watched him confused, wondering why instead of protesting or pouting that Rin had ruined his stuff Nitori just stared at his lap, mindlessly twiddling his fingers.

"Are you okay?" Rin asked, pushing himself into a seated position.

"Huh?" Nitori mumbled, looking up and into Rin's worried eyes. "Oh, yeah I'm fine."

He smiled at Rin but they'd be friends long enough to tell it was fake, his eyes looked different, their usual sparkle not there. They seemed dulled, Rin unsure if it was due to the film or something that had happened that night.

"Was the film good?" He questioned.

"Erm, yeah. It was about some cowboy and a giant spider or something like that." He answered vaguely, he'd hardly paid much attention to the film after all.

"What happened tonight?" Rin pried, hoping to find out what had upset him so much.

"Nothing, we watched a movie and…" Nitori trailed off, gaze dropping back to his hands.

"And what?"

"You know before I left you said Kai-senpai wasn't flirting with me?" He nervously brought up their old conversation.

"Yes?" Rin's stomach lurched slightly, not liking where this conversation was headed.

"Well it turns out you were wrong, he was... He kissed me… We kissed." He corrected quickly.

"He did what?" Rin almost shouted, forcing himself to remain calm on the outside despite the storm inside.

"Yeah, it was nice. I think." He said, hand shaking slightly as he brought them up to scratch his nose.

"What do you mean you think?" Rin questioned, his voice dangerously low.

"Well I didn't have much of a choice." He admitted, bringing his legs up and resting his chin on his knees, Rin growing angrier with each of his words. "The film had barely started and he was pushing me down on his bed, I had to kiss him really but that's just what Kai-senpai's like. He's passionate and goes after what he wants."

"Nitori, if you don't like him that way he shouldn't have forced himself on you." Rin told him, worrying that Kai was going to take advantage of the innocent boy.

"He didn't force himself on me, he checked that we weren't going too far and stopped when I asked."

Nitori continued to defend him but Rin barely heard, his mind already imagined the older boy pushing Nitori, seeing how far he could get without even considering the other's feelings.

"But if he likes me I should be flattered. He was probably nervous and didn't know how to express his feelings. Right?" Nitori turned towards Rin, his eyes wide with question, begging for reassurance from someone he trusted.

Rin floundered slightly, his mouth uselessly hanging open. Was it just a grand gesture of love and his jealous mind had clouded his thoughts making it into something far more sinister? Did this boy truly care for Nitori? Love him in the way he deserved rather than sporadically depending on a certain someone's mood or temper?

"It depends really." Rin finally managed. "Do you like him?"

"I'm not sure." He thought for a moment before carefully responding. "I might do."

"Well if you're not sure you shouldn't just kiss someone because you're flattered they like you. It doesn't work that way." Rin sighed, knowing Nitori that would do anything to please his senpai was partly the reason he'd held himself back for so long.

"I guess so." Nitori quietly replied, nervously pulling at his trouser leg. "I think I'm going to go to bed now."

"Okay." Rin smiled slightly, watching as the small boy untangled himself and stood tall.

Silently, Nitori pulled his jeans off, not bothering to change into his usual baggy night wear, instead dragging himself up the ladder in the shirt and boxers he was currently wearing.

"Night Rin-senpai." Nitori whispered once in his own bed.

"Night Ai." Rin whispered back, listening to the sounds of bed springs shifting and Nitori's gentle snuffling as they lulled him to sleep.

I know you're probably thinking the whole Nitori dating someone pushy and abusive is overdone but I really wanted to give it shot so let me know your thoughts :)

Good? Bad?

Also I was debating about names between the name I gave it or Share Your Pain. What do you think? Or do you have your own suggestions? I'm not sure what to call it really so any help will be appreciated :)