Characters: Buffy, Spike
Timeline: Takes place during s7ep17 "Lies My Parents Told Me," in the space between Spike & Robin's fight and Buffy tucking Dawn in for the night.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Credits & Acknowledgements: A line from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". Thanks to Fox for helping me decide on the direction to take!
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She thought to leave him alone, because she figured that's probably what he wanted. But the adrenaline was starting to wear off inside her, and her body began that slow ache from the pain of worry when she had feared she was already too late. It hurt. She hurt. And her need to make sure he was safe was overriding any need he could have to be alone.
She had cried on her run to Robin's place. Those tears were dried on her face now, but she wasn't sure that they'd stay gone. Oh, she got Robin's betrayal. Sure, it hurt, but she understood. It was Giles' betrayal that gutted her. How could he do it again, especially after knowing what happened the last time? Her judgement was constantly being questioned year after year, apocalypse after apocalypse, yet she consistently saved the world and everyone in it. What was the issue?
She followed a path she hadn't followed in what felt like forever, but she was sure he went this way. The scent of him seemed to linger in the air, all cigarettes and whiskey and something else she could never place. Her pulse quickened at the memories as she approached the crypt. This time, though, she opened the door carefully.
He was sitting on top of the sarcophagus, cigarette burning away between his fingers. From his lack of movement at her arrival, he seemed to have expected her to follow. He looked up at her, and his face changed a bit like he was about to say something. But he stayed silent and took a drag on his cigarette instead.
"You okay?" she asked gently, hoping her voice didn't give away the panic that she had been feeling.
He let out a bit of a dry laugh in response.
"If I had known, I wouldn't have gone with Giles. I hope you..."
"I know, luv."
She approached him then, her eyes targeting his injuries. There had been an overwhelming need to touch him ever since she saw he hadn't dusted, and maybe here in this place wasn't the best moment. But she needed some sort of reassurance that something was real. That some part of her world was still there for her as it had been.
"You're burned," she said as her fingers touched his neck, careful to avoid the black scorching on his face.
He tried to shrug her off. "It's nothing. Just a flesh wound," he replied with a bit of snark.
"Spikeā¦" She thought she knew what he was trying to do, but it wasn't helping.
"Slayer, I'm fine."
"But I'm not!" The salty burn of tears hit her eyes, but she gritted it back. Dammit!
He looked a bit taken back, like he hadn't considered this possibility.
At the risk of reopening wounds (emotional or otherwise), she leaned towards him, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. He didn't immediately respond, perhaps out of fear of what it might mean, but his heart overruled his mind after a moment. His hand moved to rest on her back gently, keeping her there as long as she needed it.
When she finally gathered herself together, she glanced back up at him again. "Am I wrong? Have I been wrong this whole time about us?"
That made him blink and nearly turn away. She caught the confused sadness on his face and tried to clarify. She had meant "us" in a broad sense, her mind still reeling over Giles' questioning of her judgement. But, yeah, maybe what Spike was thinking, too.
He flicked his spent cigarette to the ground. "It's me they're not entirely wrong about," he finally said. "I know I'm a bit of a liability."
"No, no, we need you. I need you." She backed away slightly as if she were about to pace off an argument. "I'll help you get rid of this trigger, okay? I'll find a way."
"It's gone."
"What?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "Worked it out. I'm fine now."
Her eyes questioned him as though he were lying to protect her feelings. There was no time for that any longer. This night proved that to her.
So she pressed him for details til he finally explained. What he told her was just what she needed to hear. Giles was wrong. Wrong about him and wrong about her.
.
.
She left him in the crypt after he promised to eventually return to the house.
It was going to be a long night. And she wasn't sure how she would deal with Giles or Robin after this. Her heart still hurt and maybe would for a long time still.
But she had a job to do, with or without them.
The mission was what mattered.
