Author: Mike Fenton
Title: TENCHI BOOYO!
Notes: Cross-over (OVA), script format
Summary: Chicken Boo plays some silly head games with
 the girls. He is way dumber than advertised!

[Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! and its characters are the
property of AIC and Pioneer LDC, Inc. and was created by
Masaki Kajishima. Chicken Boo is trademarked and
copyrighted by Warner Bros. This story comes entirely
from my imagination, and is strictly intended to be
apocryphal--so please don't sue me.]

1 EXT. HEN HOUSE

 A few chickens peck the ground, as bg. music starts up.

2 INT. HEN HOUSE

 A giant chicken--Boo--goes up to a nice rectangular
floor mirror.

 BG. MUSIC

 "Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you?
 You don't act like the other chickens do--
 You wear a disguise to look like human guys,
 But you're not a man! You're a chicken, Boo!"

 CU. BOO (looking in mirror)

 He puts on several different disguises, tilting his
head suggestively, considering.

 FADE OUT

3 TITLE: "TENCHI BOOYO!"

4 EXT. FLOATING ONSEN

5 INT. POOL

 Ayeka and Ryoko are relaxing in the pools, as Sasami
sits at the edge, kicking up some water with her feet.

 AYEKA: There's something different about Lord
Tenchi, today. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but he
seems so much more manly today. I shudder to admit this,
but my heart is pounding in my chest, just thinking about
him. Oh, I think I shall just die! He's so perfect for me!

 RYOKO: (amused) Forget it, Princess! My Tenchi
is too much man for you! I bet you'd faint just at the
thought of one hot, steamy night with him. You know you
can't compare with me. I'm the bad girl, and guys always
fall for the bad girl. You wait. This morning, he wasn't
embarrassed at all around me. Tenchi and I were meant to be
together!

 Mihoshi suddenly appears, holding a bottle of sake.

 MIHOSHI: Oh, you all are so silly! (wistfully) 
Tenchi is my destiny. And I think today is the day we are
going to get married! Oh! When he looked at me this
morning, I could just see so much love and kindness in his
eyes! You two may think you can win his heart, but I'm so
sweet and innocent, he'll just fall into my arms! Tenchi is
such a romantic!

 Mihoshi sits at the edge of the pool, weeping with joy.

 CU. SASAMI

 SASAMI: (matter-of-factly) Actually, he's a
giant chicken.

 POOL

 A general gasp splits the air.

 CU. RYOKO

 RYOKO: (outrage) What did you say?

 CU. AYEKA

 AYEKA: (annoyed) Now, Sasami. Just because you
are young, doesn't mean you can just say anything you wish. 
If you insist on making fun, at least do so in a wholesome
way. You are a princess, too, you know.

 POOL

 Ryoko is glowering at Sasami, as Mihoshi looks up at
Sasami in shock. Ayeka frowns, thoughtfully.

 MIHOSHI: Oh, Sasami! How can you say such a mean
thing? I thought we were friends!

 RYOKO: You little brat! You're just jealous! 
You stay out of this!

 AYEKA: Ryoko, you shouldn't be so vindictive. 
This attitude of hers is all your fault.

 RYOKO: (turning to Ayeka) Huh? Oh, not that
stupid argument again!

 AYEKA: You are a bad influence on the young one,
Ryoko. She takes this casually perverse air from you.

 RYOKO: You're the one who always starts it,
Princess. You're so obnoxious, anyone would gladly scorn
you.

 AYEKA: (defensive) I'm not the monster, you are!

 CU. SASAMI

 SASAMI: (pleading) But he is a giant chicken, I
tell you! A giant chicken!

 CU. RYOKO

 She trembles in anger.

 CU. AYEKA

 AYEKA: (upset) Sasami, you leave here this
instant! We are going to have to discuss this, but I will
make sure you are severely punished, first! This is the
last time I put up with your insolence!

 POOL

 Sasami seems about to object, as Ryoko flies out of the
pool and drags Sasami over to the door.

 CU. MIHOSHI

 MIHOSHI: (mournfully) I can't believe Sasami. 
How could she be so rude!

 CU. AYEKA

 AYEKA: Well, Mihoshi, it only shows you how
familiarity can sometimes breed envy...

 CU. SASAMI

 SASAMI: But Ryoko, if you would just listen to me
for a moment--

 CU. RYOKO

 She opens the entrance door and kicks Sasami out.

 RYOKO: Good riddance, you little brat!

 POOL

 Ryoko turns and casually wipes her hands.

 AYEKA: Anyway, you are all deluding yourselves. 
I'm so much more worthy than either of you. You can only
win his heart, but I can give him the throne of a galactic
empire!

 RYOKO: (snorting) You mean, if Azusa has a fit
and keels over dead, of course.

 AYEKA: (gasping) How dare you talk about the
emperor that way! My father will respect me! Tenchi can
prove himself, and everyone knows it!

 MIHOSHI: (pondering) But, I thought he only won
that duel because of me...

 Ryoko and Ayeka glower at Mihoshi for a moment.

 RYOKO: (amused again) Anyway, Princess, isn't it
against Jurai royal code for you to contemplate the death of
an emperor? This is grounds for a beheading, is it not?

 CU. AYEKA

 AYEKA: (stunned) I was not thinking any such
thing! You were! I was only suggesting the logical line of
succession!

 CU. MIHOSHI

 MIHOSHI: But, isn't that against the Seto Treaty?
You could start a war, just implying a thing like that.

 POOL

 Ayeka hides her face in disgust, as Ryoko laughs.

 RYOKO: Yeah, Princess. You're nothing but
trouble for poor Tenchi. I, on the other hand, can make all
his wildest fantasies come true. I'm not tied down to any
old stupid code. I follow my own rules! Tenchi can rule
the universe with me at his side!

 AYEKA: If you don't get caught, you mean. You're
nothing but a pirate! If Tenchi ends up with you, it'll
probably be in a cage, somewhere--miserable and publicly
humiliated!

 RYOKO: With you, Princess, every day would be a
public humiliation! Those Juraians don't exactly warm up to
Earthlings, you know!

 AYEKA: They will just have to learn! It is
already our formal decree!

 CU. MIHOSHI

 MIHOSHI: Oh, just come off it! Tenchi doesn't
want any of that! He just wants a plain, simple life! I'm
a very plain and simple kind of person, you know.

 CU. RYOKO

 RYOKO: 'Simpleton,' you mean.

 CU. AYEKA

 AYEKA: Plain, you may be, Mihoshi, but you are
anything but simple. You hurl yourself from one difficulty
to the next. Tenchi would never have a moment of peace with
you.

 CU. MIHOSHI

 MIHOSHI: That's silly, Ayeka! I don't care about
any of that! In my heart, I'm very innocent and gentle. I
would never have another moment of trouble with Tenchi.

 POOL

 RYOKO: Naive little girl! You don't know the
first thing about avoiding trouble! I've been avoiding
trouble all my life. I can make Tenchi happier than any of
you!

 AYEKA: How happy would Tenchi be, getting chased
around by police all the time? Really, Ryoko. You are the
one who is naive! You think people would just forget all
the crimes you've committed?

 RYOKO: But none of that was my fault! It was all
Kagato, I tell you!

 AYEKA: Yeah. Just try explaining that to all the
people who lost their families. They don't care who ordered
it. They just want to see you suffer--and they might hurt
Lord Tenchi to get to you, if he were ever foolish enough to
be seen your company!

 MIHOSHI: Yeah. Tenchi would be much safer with
me! At headquarters, I could have my grandfather arrange
for him to have constant protection--maybe even a new
identity.

 Ryoko and Ayeka glare at Mihoshi, ominously.

 CU. ENTRANCE

 The door slides open for Boo, wearing a wig and a
kimono. He enters.

 CU. RYOKO

 Floats up in front of Boo, fingering his chest.

 RYOKO: Tenchi! How are you, my darling?

 CU. AYEKA

 Goes to stand next to Boo.

 AYEKA: Lord Tenchi! How handsome you are, today!
My heart is bursting with joy to see you!

 CU. MIHOSHI

 Nervously sidling up to Boo.

 MIHOSHI: Tenchi! How do you feel? Don't just
stand there, say something.

 CU. BOO

 Cocking his head around, somewhat smugly--but very
bird-like.

 BOO: Ba-kaw! Bak-bak-ba-kaw?

 POOL

 RYOKO: Don't be embarrassed, Tenchi. You never
say anything I'm ashamed of, you know.

 AYEKA: Fate has brought us together, Lord Tenchi.
There is no need for you to apologize.

 MIHOSHI: It's so sweet that you are so modest,
Tenchi. You know I'd do anything for you, though!

 CU. BOO

 Looks around at the entrance, then back at the girls.

 BOO: Bak-bak-bak. Bak-ba-kaw!

 POOL

 The three look a little stunned.

 RYOKO: (shocked) What?

 AYEKA: (forlorn) Another? Who? I don't
understand!

 MIHOSHI: (starting to cry) You're not leaving
me, are you? Oh, Tenchi! How could you?

 BOO: Bak-bak. Bak-bak-bak.

 Washu appears in the door.

 WASHU: (smug) That's right! Surprised?

 CU. RYOKO

 RYOKO: But, Mom! You know how I feel about
Tenchi! How could you do this to me?

 CU. WASHU

 WASHU: Well, it's very simple, actually. Tenchi
and I were just discussing it. Tell her, Tenchi.

 CU. BOO

 Looks down for a moment, then at Ryoko.

 BOO: Bak-bak-bak-ba-kaw. Bak-bak-bak-bak?

 CU. RYOKO

 Her eyes widen, and she begins to weep.

 CU. AYEKA

 She gasps and looks at Ryoko, curiously.

 AYEKA: You actually said that? Why in the world
did you do that?

 CU. MIHOSHI

 She frowns for a moment, then gapes in understanding.

 MIHOSHI: Oh! So, when you said you wished Achika
was your mother too, Tenchi took it to mean that you wished
you were his sister...

 CU. RYOKO

 Scowling as she continues to weep.

 RYOKO: It's not true! I never meant anything
like that! Oh Tenchi, what I feel is so much deeper than
that! You must believe me!

 CU. WASHU

 A little stern, as she considers Ryoko.

 WASHU: Now, now, Ryoko. It's no use, trying to
deny it. You may have meant it as a slight to me, but it
revealed something I think is essentially true. I mean,
face it. You don't really know anything about love.

 POOL

 Washu consoles Ryoko, as Ayeka looks thoughtful.

 AYEKA: But, Tenchi. This is all so sudden and
thoughtless. How could you neglect me? I am your true and
perfect mate, and you know it.

 BOO: Bak-bak.

 AYEKA: (shocked) What?

 BOO: Ba-kaw! Bak-bak-bak-bak-bak-ba-kaw! 
Bak-bak-bak-bak-bak. Bak-bak-bak?

 CU. AYEKA

 She trembles with grief and anger.

 AYEKA: No! That is a lie! I love you, Tenchi--
not Yosho!

 CU. WASHU

 WASHU: (gently) Really? Are you sure?

 CU. RYOKO

 Collects herself and looks up at Ayeka.

 RYOKO: Yeah. Now that I think about it, it makes
sense. You only latched onto Tenchi out of grief for Yosho.
You tried to take Tenchi on the rebound, but you're really
still in love with Yosho!

 CU. AYEKA

 Putting her face in her hands, and starting to weep.

 AYEKA: No! It's nothing but lies! No!

 POOL

 Ryoko looks smugly at Ayeka--who is weeping,
wrenchingly. Mihoshi looks around, confused.

 MIHOSHI: Tenchi--don't you know how I feel? I
only came here for you.

 CU. BOO

 He looks down for a moment, then up at Mihoshi.

 BOO: Bak-bak. Bak-bak-bak-bak.

 CU. MIHOSHI

 She smiles, as tears fall down her cheeks.

 MIHOSHI: Oh! That's so sweet! I understand,
Tenchi! But, you're breaking my heart, you know?

 CU. WASHU

 WASHU: You'll get over it, kid. I should know--
well, maybe not. Eh, who cares? (she turns to Boo) Are 
you ready? Let's get out of here before the real fireworks
start.

 CU. RYOKO

 Glaring at Washu, venomously.

 RYOKO: What makes you think you can just walk out
of here, Washu?

 POOL

 Washu has suddenly grown as tall as Ryoko. She goes
and looks Ryoko in the eyes.

 WASHU: And who's going to stop me? You?

 BOO: Bak-bak-ba-kaw!

 WASHU: Just stay out of this, Tenchi. Sometimes,
a mother has to do what a mother has to do.

 RYOKO: How are you going to get out of here?

 WASHU: I'll just take Ryo-Ohki. It's not like
you own her. Anyway, if I left her here you would just
track us down. I kill two birds with one stone, that way.

 CU. RYOKO

 RYOKO: You bitch! We'll just see who gets killed
today!

 CU. ENTRANCE

 Tenchi apppears in the doorway, looking in curiously.

 TENCHI: Hey! What's all the commotion in here? 
What's this giant chicken doing in that get-up?

 POOL

 Boo looks very embarrassed, as the others look around
in confusion. Washu reverts back to child-form.

 WASHU: Chicken? I don't see any giant chicken.

 AYEKA: Oh my god, Tenchi! But, now there are two
of you! Which one is which?

 RYOKO: Hey! There's something funny going on
here!

 Mihoshi is completely stunned.

 TENCHI: (very disconcerted) Have you all gone
nuts? Look!

 He grabs the wig and the kimono from Boo. Boo is quite
obviously a giant chicken. A general gasp splits the air
again.

 WASHU: He is a giant chicken! (groaning) I
can't believe I actually kissed him!

 Sasami suddenly appears in the door, next to Tenchi.

 SASAMI: I told you that guy was a chicken. Come
on, Tenchi. I think the others will want to be alone with
him for a while.

 Tenchi leaves with Sasami, and the others turn and look
at Boo, very venomously.

 CU. BOO

 His wings start trembling in fear.

 BOO: Bak-bak?

 IRIS OUT ALREADY, PLEASE!

THE END

***

NOTES: Frank Welker is the VA for Chicken Boo in the
Animaniacs. He also does Ralph the Guard, The CEO, The
Announcer, Flavio, Buttons, Runt... He is also Abu from
Disney's Aladdin, and I understand he does a lot of weird
animal noises for other cartoons.