Say Amy never told Karma how she felt. Say they make it to college and it all works out. Amy finds herself and comes to terms with who she is. Who says that you can only have one soulmate and that they have to be your lover as well?

If there is one thing for certain, it's that I'm independent. I like to do things my way. Not to spite anyone and not just for the sake of being different. It's simply because I lack the interest.

I've never been a "follower" but I'm not a leader either. I could never be the type of person to set trends or help be a guide to set the right path. In the past there could have been an argument made that I was indeed a follower, but that so called following was only based on one person and following isn't even the correct term. Infatuated-now that I could agree with.

I always do what I want and it just so happened that most things I wanted to do, that person had initially suggested. It was like she knew what I was thinking before I could even speak. We connected as easily as a puzzle made for a two-year old. Everyone knew it too. Well, by everyone I mean the very few people who noticed us which consisted mostly of adults if you don't count our families.

She made my heart flutter in the simplest of ways. I never really thought too much into it. It didn't seem…out of the ordinary. Until it did. Until it seemed like it was everything. That's how life seems to happen though right? One moment something is just a constant in your life and the next you don't know what you would do without it. I think that's how I would describe the feeling of being in love if I were ever asked.

Even when I knew for sure what I was feeling,I never got around to telling her. It never felt like the right time and I never wanted to mess with the strength of our friendship. It's not that I thought that she would stop talking to me, but things would change and she would look at me differently and try in every way not to hurt me or send me the wrong message. As if I was as sensitive as a bubble. I'm not though. In the grand scheme of things, I'd say I''m pretty damn strong. Yes, hearing that she loves me but is not "in love" with me would definitely sting but I'd recover. In a way, I think that she would be the one who wouldn't. I think she would just start to question how much longer I could handle just being her friend. So in the end she would just be too cautious and would never fully act like the girl I had fallen for: Karma. Crazy-indecisive-spur-of-the-moment-irrational-thinking Karma. And if she didn't act like herself she couldn't fully be happy and that was the last thing that I wanted.

In order to dodge that bullet, I accepted my feelings and kept them to myself. We continued to be best friends and I did my best not to over-think anything she might have done that caused any of those heart flutters I had previously mentioned. That's how I know how strong I am because some of the things she's done…well imagine your crush sitting on your bed next to their boyfriend and your laid out on your stomach in front of them (oh the joys of being a third-wheel) watching some shit movie that you're pretending to be interested in when you feel their hand on the back of your upper-thigh right under your ass, just barely rubbing and they say "should you be wearing these? they're a little short don't ya think?" How would you react? I for one, had no fucking clue. For starters, I did not turn around to reveal the redness of my face. Instead, I kept my voice as even as possible and replied, "I do what I want," as if it didn't faze me at all.

So yeah, some times were harder than others but I do believe it worked out for the best. I'm not saying that everyone who has been through this type of situation should react the same way but what I am saying is that in my particular case, it worked out for the best.

Karma and I are now going to the same college as planned and I ended up telling her just before we left about how I feel about girls and boys in general and she didn't even flinch. She said how she always thought I'd at least try to date a girl. I asked her if she ever saw herself being with a girl, she said, "I've been attracted to girls but I'm positive I'll end up with a guy." That was the complete dead end sign for me. Even if we ever kissed or tried anything else, I would always want more than she was capable of giving. And that wasn't anyones fault. We're soul mates, no doubt about that, but we'll never be lovers, and somehow I have found that that is enough for me.