STAN SKATES 2:
REVENGE OF THE DADDYS
A Stan Skates Fanfiction
by LeatherIceCream
CoW ritten by Mr Exit, aka: Johnny
© 2016
CHAPTER 1: It's the Climb Miley Cirus.
CHAPTER 2: The Land of Mushrooms
Stan was one day minding his own business in his city of Fresh York, It was almost nightfall, and he was enjoying his skateboarding shenanigans, only he had the skills to jump over 3 tiered lazily slapped together in one sloppy group. Whenever he jumped, he'd make a faint chewing sound of sorts, nobody really knew what sound he made, historians theories it's him chewing some sort of gum / potato chip combo, a piece of gum that is always crunchy no matter how much you chew it.
There are many theories on the sound Stan makes when he skates and then jumps, but this one is the simplest and makes the most sense to us.
Stan was going on his marry way just fine, jumping over obstacles that indicate the poor quality of his towns construction process. Jumping over traffic cones and... well, tiers, he thought his evening couldn't get any more normal. But, on the most basic and unremarkable day, revolution!
That's right, timetravel. Turns out the icons he's been collecting with letters on them such as KF, 100, don't actually mean Kick Flip or +100 points!
But they meant KiloFrames and 100 is how much time he goes back to.
Many scientists agree that as of now, timetravel in the past is unlikely. But most if not all scientists forget about KiloFrames. While mere humans cannot travel in the past, animated sprites that interact with the virtual environment they are set in obey different rules. Their base for measuring time are not seconds, but Frames. Translating that into seconds is simple, because the game Stan Skates runs at, like, 3 frames per second. That would mean that 3 frames is one second. KiloFrames on the other hand are 1080 frames and not 1000 for some fucking reason, making that 360 seconds, or, 6 minutes.
Unknowingly, Stan has been collecting these orbs, but the orbs are not orbs, they are orbs that fuel Time Machines!
Little did he ALSO know, that his skateboard was a time machine, stolen from a failed 90s animated TV show about some radical shitbag going through time on a skateboard and ruining the course of history.
With all this information that Stan did not know, imagine his confusion when after a couple thousand 100 KiloFrames he collected, he suddenly appears in a portal and is sent 10 Years in the Past!
CHAPTER 3: 2004
It is the year 2004, and Stan is a fucking Gif now, The background he is in now is also a Gif, albeit not an animated one. It displays a clipart of a city landscape, horribly tiled all over the background, while the ground he skated on was a stationary gradient blue.
Confused and slightly discomforted by his newly acquired jpeg-ness, he tried to find out why he was sent 10 years in the past. With no obstacles in his way, Stan stood there and thought, he thought for many many centuries, but not really, but it felt like it. After about 15 minutes he tried to find any info about this online. But ah, the year 2004, it's not as advanced as the year 2014, the only thing he could find is a link to the download page for the pc game laser tank. So he had to look for forums instead. That's when he got a hint of what was really going on.
One of the forum users sent him a private message, he asked him how he managed to go back in time and to delete his thread.
Stan explained what happened to him, and the person explained to him that his skateboard is a time machine and how he got into this mess. The user then explained that he is actually from the year 2014 himself, he managed to somehow code a program that can send private messages in the past or future by specifying what year it should be sent to.
The user told Stan how to go to the future, but Stan being the shithead he is, didn't quite understand him and travelled back in time even more.
This time he travelled back in the 90s. It was very different from both 2014 and 2004. This time it was 1994. He was now rendered on a Sega Genisis, rendered in shit pillow shading pixel art.
Stan Skateus has now devolved into one of the many shit games in the Sega Genis version of Action 52. He was now avoiding dead cats on a beach, a far cry from the Fresh York he once lived in, with it's... beautiful jpeg sky.
Sega Genesis had no internet support, so he couldn't inform his forum buddy about his fuck up, so he had to keep going, collect whatever bullshit is in that game that count as points and go back to the present.
CHAPTER 4: Stan is in Pong now
Yeah, the title doesn't lie. Stan gathered enough points and travelled back in time again, into pong. Now rendered a single white pixel against a solid black background on one of the Pong arcade machines, he couldn't really do all that much.
You may have expected Stan to devolve into just the pixel that represents the ball in Pong, but no, he actually became one of the few pixels that build the Right stick.
Stan had to wait a very long time 'till his score would power his time travelling skateboard again. In stan skates, the 100 point orbs multiplied his score, giving him more frames faster. In the genesis game, it took him less time, actually, cus you got more points. But in Pong, you only get 1 point per win, not only that, he had to wait for the player to the Right to get enough points. This took a while, very much longer, but in the end, he managed to get his points back.
This time, Stan didn't actually fuck up, he went into the future. If he went EVEN more back in the past, I have no idea what he'd become, probably just a single electric particle that fueled a lamp in 1936.
He went to the future, this time it was in the year 2002.
Unfortunately, he was transported to an alternative universe where the Y2K bug actually happened, so now he's nowhere to be found.
Okay, just kidding, he's in another forum now. An even more primitive one at that. He once again found his forum buddy in his pixelated town that has shit 3D text rotating in a 3 frame gif.
Windows XP has just come out, and everyone said, oh yey, it's fucking blue.
Back to the main story, Stan informs his forum friend that he found out what he must do to go to the future with his poorly rendered skateboard. The forum friend then turns out was a sly fucker, because he betrayed Stan and took his skateboard using basic Java knowledge.
Stan was stuck in the year 2002. Though not really, time moved on, he waited just a few years until he experienced his own birth.
CHAPTER 5: Stan Skates, out now!
Stan is a piece of shit.
Stan had finally found his place. He waited a long time for him to get his skateboard back. But he knew that if he just stole the skateboard from himself without leaving anything back, he'd cause some kind of time fuckery. So he had an idea! Stan managed to steal a fake replica of his skateboard from an 90s animated TV show adaptation for the Sega Genesis (Yes, the show had a game out fast enough before it failed). Stan managed to steal the skateboard from the leftover data from the Sega Genesis, even from the Action 52 game.
Swiftly he stole Stan's skateboard and replaced it with the fake. He then stole all the KF and 100 point orbs in that town to go back to the year 2014. A very short time compared to the few years he waited for Stan Skates to be released.
He is back in his own time, and he can finally relax and skate in his home town of Fresh York.
But he remembers suddenly, who WAS that forum guy that had time travelling messages?
Well after some research done on Wikipedia, He found out that the forum guy was a man called Daddys De MayMey. He took Stan's skateboard from Windows XP, looked at it's source code and applied the time travel code to his time warping messaging program. Which explained why Daddys was so keen on helping Stan in the first place.
But now that he knows, nothing matters to him any more.
Just him.
His skateboard.
His city.
And the shittiest pixelated Sky graphic you'll ever fucking see.
THE END
