Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, I obviously wouldn't be writing fan fiction.

Title: The Way I Loved You

Summary: Jake was… perfect. He was sweet, caring, and handsome… So why am I still wishing he was Eli?

So this is will probably have like three chapters, if you review ;D Inspired by The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift. Enjoy! :)

Chapter 1: I Wish This Was You...

Clare's POV:

I sit on the floor and watch as Jake jokes around with his friends… Wasn't this date night? Just me and him? I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, pulling my knees against my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

"Clare?" I look up and see that Jake is standing over me. "Are you mad?"

His hand grabs mine and I pull it away fast. His hand is warm and soft.

Not like Eli's.

His are rough and freezing, and somehow I fell in love with the feeling of Eli's hands.

I push the thoughts out of my mind and look at my boyfriend. "What's wrong, darling?" He asks.

Darling.

Eli used to call me darling.

Jake's voice is extremely deep. Too deep. Not soothing, like Eli's was.

"N-nothing," I stutter, trying to get my mind off of my ex-boyfriend.

"Are you mad at me?" He repeats the question and I shake my head. "Well what's wrong then?"

"I'm just thinking," I say, averting my eyes from his.

"About what?" Jake says, smiling at me.

A genuine smile.

Nothing compared to that beautiful smirk.

"It's just nothing," I say, attempting to keep the sadness out of my voice.

"I'm sorry for bringing the guys," He says, leaning in for a kiss. I turn my head away and he captures my cheek.

"It's fine," I mutter, burying my face in my knees. I hear Jake's sneakers walk away from me and I can't hold it in anymore. Tears pour out of my eyes and soak in to my jeans. I feel arms wrap around me and pull me tightly against his body.

I just cry more.

These arms are holding me protectively.

Eli's arms held onto me like I needed him and like he needed me. He held me to comfort me, to protect me.

Not to claim me.

"What's wrong?" Jake's voice whispers in my ear.

"I said it's nothing. I'm just overreacting. I'm just going to walk home, you can play with the guys for the night," I say, standing up. He wraps his arms around me and grabs my hips. I try to pull away but he tightened his grasp.

"I love you, Clare." Jake says, kissing me. I reach up and brush the hair out of his eyes.

As much as I want to believe that moving hair from his eyes would turn his light hair black and his brown eyes green, I know it will never happen.

I still need Eli.

I smile weakly and pull away from him.

"Bye," I mutter. The sad look on his face quickly disappears when his friends turn the music up and start dancing.

Eli would have chased after me.

Eli wouldn't have even brought his friends on our date night in the first place.

But this is now. Eli is gone.

He has Imogen.

And I have Jake.

How did we end up this way?

I'm just waiting for Jake to turn into Eli. My Eli.

No matter what would happen in my life, Eli would always be my Eli because I know I will always love him.

He was acting crazy, I know, but I need him.

The warm summer air hits me and I realize it's been three months since the breakup, since the accident. Three months since I've been with Jake. I knew Eli seeing me with another guy less than a week after our breakup would kill him, but then I didn't care.

I fell for Jake fast.

He was extremely attractive and I was in a terrible mental state. He just seemed to be absolutely perfect….Until he started pressuring me into things, putting his hands in my shirt or up my skirt.

I would immediately push his hands away, blushing furiously. I had let Eli touch me because he didn't force it on me. We'd both go home sexually frustrated, but just feeling his cold touch on my bare skin was enough for me to go crazy.

I am still in love with Eli.

I pass Degrassi community school and stop.

That's the place.

I can almost make out the silhouette of Morty, the way it stopped when he ran over my glasses.

You have pretty eyes.

Thinking of those words cause my heart to swell and my eyes to tear up.

Who knew four words could have such an impact on your life?

The empty parking lot seems bigger without any cars and without anyone here. I walk over to the place where Eli used to park Morty, where he now parks his small black car.

It was plain.

It wasn't him.

He wasn't himself because of me.

Because of my stupid little lapse of bitch.

I sit down in the parking spot, probably on something gross. I don't care.

I reach in my bag and grab my phone, scrolling to the E's. It is so tempting to call him. Instead I hit the delete button, taking the first step to forgetting him. I knew it was useless; I had memorized his number.

I sit on the ground, staring at the place where Eli and I had met. The memories flood my brain and I start to sob.

The way his soft lips would massage over mine. The way his tongue would always have a sweet taste on it when it met mine. The way his hand would hesitantly rest on my hips. The way he would rub his hand up and down my stomach before he cautiously rested his hand over my breast.

The way he loved me.

Now, Imogen has him. She gets to feel his hands all over her body whenever she wanted. She gets to feel his lips over hers whenever she wanted.

She has him whenever she wants him.

I wipe my face and pick up my bag, standing up. When I fling my bag over my shoulder, something in the corner of my eye catches my attention. Then it all dawned on me.

I know how to fix this…


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Thanks for reading! :D