Author: Mike Fenton Title: A TENCHI MUYO! CHRISTMAS Notes: Misc., Narrative Poem Summary: Christmas at the Masaki house...[Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! and its characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC, Inc. and was created by Masaki Kajishima. This story comes entirely from my imagination, and is strictly intended to be apocryphal--so please don't sue me.]
A Tenchi Muyo! Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, except a big louse.
The stairs creaking softly as Ryoko crept silent;
With Ayeka tied-up, thinking thoughts rather violent.
Tenchi was warm, all snug in his bed,
As the spiky-haired demon with a towel on her head
Made her way along the hall; just feet from the door,
Told Sasami, "Get lost! I'm tryin' to score!"
And as she reached out to pull on the knob,
The house was soon shook by a soft, gentle throb.
Ryoko looked up, as if hesitant to brave
The thought of Kagato returned from the grave.
Sasami gasped softly with eyes wide and bright
As Ryoko prepared with her sword held alight.
With barely a shimmer and tremor of sound,
Ryoko to the rooftop was instantly bound.
So, as Sasami looked upward in wonder,
The eery silence was broken with thunder;
And a glance at the window revealed bright flashes,
As the sound of explosions bespoke of great clashes.
Soon, the whole house made a terrible quake,
While a whistle and a splash came quick from the lake;
And it seemed very likely that all were awake,
As the clouds for the moon would very soon break.
Standing at the edge, still poised to fight,
An awe-struck Ryoko watched calm through the night,
As Washu and her console tracked down this dread foe;
A big man swimming, his eyes filled with woe.
As he crawled onto shore, his wet suit looked gray,
And he struggled to haul a big bag for display.
He looked up briefly with ice in his eyes,
Then laughed like a madman, to everyone's surprise.
Tenchi, annoyed, said, "Why all this drama?"
"Can't you all see this is good ol' Nick-sama?"
"Who?" asked Mihoshi, her eyes filled with doubt,
As Ryoko, ignored, was left to just pout.
"Santa Claus," Tenchi replied, and sighed.
"Unless you believe that Yosho just lied."
"Yes," said Ayeka, in careful agreement.
"And Yosho has never been one for embellishment."
"The question is not who he is," said Washu,
"But just what this creature intends now to do."
"I know," Sasami said, catching their looks.
"The man is here trying to sell us his books."
"No, no," the man said, his face filled with joys,
"I just give out gifts to good girls and boys.
This bag is filled with all kinds of good things,
That I give out to beggars as well as to kings."
"Wow, amazing," said Washu, "and unless I'm wrong,
To carry all those gifts, you must be quite strong."
And she typed at her console to discover why
This old man could have such power to pry.
As Washu went on typing, Tenchi made way,
"Please come inside. We should not delay
A man who visits so many, already."
Ayeka looked doubtful as Washu looked unsteady.
"This can't be right!" Washu said, alarmed.
"I'm afraid it is so," the man said, disarmed.
"Just before Christmas, I am one and am many.
If I can't give to one, then I won't give to any."
And even Ryo-Ohki looked doubtful at that,
How an old man could be so generous and fat;
But the night was so peaceful and cheerful,
That even a cynic could ignore this earful.
Once inside, it seemed as though morning came;
And though it was night, not one would claim
That any darkness was seen once Saint Nick
Had charmed them all like they were lovesick.
Thus, when he started, there was not one who turned,
Or looked down, or away; but a few who burned
With jealous looks to see that, firstly he
Gave a nice box of carrots to Ryo-Ohki.
To Mihoshi, a necklace with a very fine pearl;
To Sasami, a small ship, with flags to unfurl.
To Washu, a small schoolhouse with little figures,
Who could learn or play in equivalent measures.
To Ryoko and Ayeka he gave a video game:
The latest in a series of fighting fame.
To Tenchi he gave a disapproving look,
And was about to leave with the bag he took,
When the others, suddenly curious,
Demanded to know or would be furious:
Why Tenchi, of all people, he would refuse
When all the rest he gave what they'd choose.
He turned and said simply, "Tenchi is bad:
A naughty, naughty boy, who's made me sad;
And the only thing I can give him is this:
Try harder next year, don't behave so amiss."
"But," Tenchi said, "what have I done,
To make you so sad that me you shun;
While even Ayeka and Ryoko you favor,
But to me your treatment will not waver."
Santa turned and sighed, saying, "I know,
It seems unfair, but it doesn't always show.
You've done nothing, and that's my point.
You're so useless, you only disappoint."
And, so he left, sadly, but gave a smile;
He vowed that a year is only a little while,
And bade them 'Merry Christmas,' and to all a goodnight.
And, once again, Tenchi was left to his plight.
THE END
