This is Jordan's story, from her abuse as a teenager possibly up until the Olympics, I'm not sure yet. I'll take some elements from the real story and make other bits up. *Trigger warning* for sexual abuse and self harm scenes.
The sound of her feet rhythmically pounding the ground and her deep, ragged breathing were the only sounds Jordan could hear as she ran through the dark, quiet fields. Her legs and her lungs were on fire and blood roared through her ears but she welcomed the pain; needed it. She needed the escape from her own head. When Jordan ran the rest of the world faded into the background and that was just where she wanted it to stay.
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Jordan Randall was twelve years old. Everybody wanted to be her; Jordan, to the outside observer, had everything; talent, looks, drive, popularity and attention. Jordan was all set to be the next big thing in the Junior level gymnastics world and all the other girls and the coaches at gymnastics camp knew it. Yes, everybody wanted to be Jordan. But Jordan would have been happy to be anybody else.
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Jordan barely had time to close the door of the camping lodge quietly behind her before she was pushed firmly back into it and held there. "Where have you been?" hissed a voice in her ear. "It's 5 o clock in the morning."
"Let me go Coach Ray," said Jordan, trying to conceal the shake in her voice. "I couldn't sleep so I went for a run."
"A run? Jordan, you know you can't go disappearing on me like that in the middle of the night. What if something happened to you? How would I be able to save you?" Coach Ray slowly moved his hand from Jordan's shoulder and slipped it under the crop top the girl barely needed. He moved closer to her, his breath hot on her neck and brushed his lips against hers as his other hand moved down her body and between her legs. A terrified sob rose in her throat and she broke away from him, making a dash out of the hut and into the shower block where she locked the door behind her and sank to the floor, her whole body shaking with silent tears.
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Jordan wasn't sure when she had first realised that Coach Ray didn't treat her like the other girls. Until this year they'd all just been little kids and she'd been one of the gang; her, Kaylie, Ava, Sophie, Serena and Bailey. Gymnastics camp had always been the highlight of Jordan's rather lonely life. It was a place she felt safe and happy, where it didn't matter that she was in the care system or that she had no friends at school. But this year everything had changed. It was subtle at first; special compliments that made Jordan feel she was the best, extra training sessions to bring on the special talent Coach Ray said she had, ice cream after practice because she had 'worked so hard.' Jordan had found herself enjoying the extra attention. She didn't understand why she was getting it over her friends but it was fun. At least, it was fun until it had all gone wrong. Until Coach Ray's hands started holding her a little too long in all the wrong places and until the ice cream trips became private 'chats' in the man's office. Suddenly Jordan's haven had turned into a nightmare and there was nobody she could tell.
******************** Chapter Break ********************* Jordan sat on the bathroom floor for a long time before she finally pulled herself to her feet and turned the shower to its coldest setting. Not even wanting to undress she stepped under the freezing jet of water, welcoming the distracting shock, and tried, fruitlessly, to scrub herself until she felt clean.
Back in the dorm room, wrapped in a large, soft, white towel Jordan sat on her bed staring at the razor blade she was turning slowly in her hand. Her chest felt tight with panic … or anticipation, she wasn't really sure. Slowly she undid her towel and her hands gently traced the healing cuts on her thighs and stomach. She hesitated a moment longer then quickly and fiercely pulled the blade down the centre of her right thigh. The cut was a deep one Jordan knew, because the pain and the blood took a moment to come. But within seconds blood was running in fast rivulets down her leg and the sharp agony cleared her mind of everything she didn't want in it. With a sigh of relief Jordan pulled the blade down her leg again and again, until the towel was more red than white and she was biting her lip to prevent herself crying out and waking Kaylie and Ava. Gasping, she pressed the towel waiting for the bleeding to slow.
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Jordan awoke the next morning to the sound of her two dorm mates whispering and giggling to each other. She sat up in bed and saw the two girls curled up together in Kaylie's bed, doing magazine quizzes together. Jordan sighed miserably. Kaylie was supposed to be her best friend and, recently, it felt like she was icing her out of the group altogether. 'Morning guys,' she tried with an enthusiastic smile. Her two friends looked at each other and rolled their eyes. 'Good enough for you today are we then?' asked Kaylie. Jordan raised her eyebrows questioningly. 'How was ice cream with the coach. Again?'
The smile dropped from Jordan's face. 'great,' she muttered, 'we had a lot of fun.' Turning away from the other girls Jordan climbed out of bed. As she stood up she couldn't hold back a cry of pain. The fresh cuts were sore as hell. She could feel fresh trickles of blood running down her leg again and she had barely even moved. Gymnastics was going to be out of the question today. 'What's up?' queried Ava, a bubbly eleven year old from New York.
'Period pain,' lied Jordan. 'I think I'll stay in bed today.'
'You don't get your period,' scoffed Kaylie. 'What's up, scared of the competition today? Scared you won't win best gymnast like Coach promised you you will.'
'Go to hell Kaylie,' moaned Jordan quietly, lying back down on the bed. 'Just tell them I'm sick okay.'
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Jordan slept fitfully for an hour or so. It was the final week of camp, and the girls were all busy with the competition to decide the best gymnast of the Summer. Jordan was actually almost relieved that she wasn't there to compete. She wanted to win of course but Kaylie's words that morning had really hurt her – was that what everyone thought, she wondered. That Coach Ray would have fixed the competition to make sure that she won? With a groan Jordan pulled a pillow over her head to block out the bright sunlight. Why had Coach Ray picked her?
The next thing Jordan heard was the door gently shutting. It wasn't like the other girls to be so quiet, she thought, opening her eyes and half sitting up in bed. Her eyes widened in sudden fear and she opened her mouth to scream but Coach Ray was there, placing a hand over her mouth and forcing her back onto the bed.
'Why didn't you come to competition Jordan? We've been working so hard for you to win. What happened?' Unable to respond Jordan just stared up her coach, willing him to leave her alone. 'I'm hurt Jordan. After all that effort I put in and you couldn't even be bothered to show up. I guess you'll just have to find another way to thank me.'
Roughly, he jerked Jordan from the bed and pinned her against the wall. 'If you scream or tell anyone about this then your friend Kaylie will be next,' he threatened. 'She's a pretty girl, I've always fancied her. Can I trust you?' Dumbly Jordan nodded. Coach Ray undid his belt, pushed the young girl back down onto the bed and climbed on top of her...'
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When Kaylie and Ava came back to the room, Jordan, and all of her things, were gone. Wordlessly the girls stared at the bloodstained sheets on Jordan's bed. 'I guess she really did get her period,' gasped Ava. 'Eww,' remarked Kaylie, wrinkling her nose. 'That had better not ever happen to me. Anyway, good riddance I say,' Kaylie glanced down at her gold 'best gymnast' medal, 'maybe someone else will have a chance with Coach Ray now.'
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Please Review and let me know what you think. It's a bit graphic, I know.
