A birthday present for my best friend V.

I hope you enjoy it as much as she did!

Edward let out a small grunt of pain as the guard pushed him into his new cell and locked him in. He had no idea who his new cellmate would be, but he knew they always put the less dangerous inmate in first… and he could see no one else in the room so he could safely assume it would be someone more dangerous than him.

Probably someone he wouldn't like.

He picked his bed: the bottom bunk. He liked the bottom bunk, it was like a little cave. His old cellmate used to let him hang towels off the rails, and they would hang down and Edward would be in complete darkness, with just the glow in the dark question marks that he painted onto the wall. He would hang a tiny lamp from the slats of the bed above and read by it, just let the world go by for a while, while he relaxed and thought up his next plan.

He pulled his glow in the dark paint from the bag that had been thrown in with him, the one containing all his 'safe' paper-backed books, his detective stories and puzzle books.

He dipped his finger into the non-toxic paint and began to draw question marks on the wall of the lower bunk, drawing little intricate patterns to compliment them.

This would keep him occupied for at least the next couple of hours.

The door opened, and Edward suddenly found a taser pointed at his face, a young guard holding it, looking terrified. "Don't try anything, Nigma," he said loudly, the taser wavering in his hand.

Edward sighed, looking round the gun and into the young man's eyes, "If I wanted to get out I could. Your stance is awful I could take you out with one punch."

The guard steadied himself and frowned, Edward watched behind him and the door opened again, and his new cellmate was brought in. Edward smirked, "…And that man could take you out with less than a word…"

"Oh Edward you do flatter me," Joker said with a smile as a guard held him against one of the walls, undoing his handcuffs.

The young guard swallowed hard, looking between the two men, he seemed surprised that Edward and Joker knew each other.

The second guard let Joker out of his cuffs without a word, and he and the young guard backed out of the room, leaving the two alone.

"Joker," Edward said with a nod of hello.

"I'll be on the top bunk than…?" Joker drawled, not looking at all happy with the situation he was presented with.

Riddler smirked and nodded, going back to his painting, his mouth twitching a little as Joker threw his bag on his bed, and clambered up the ladder.

Edward's concentration was broken a few seconds as he heard a few loud thuds, he turned his head and saw clothes and other object being thrown from the top bunk. He stuck his head out, peering up at Joker and frowning, "What are you doing?"

Joker shrugged, flashing his usual smirk, "Making it look more homey."

Riddler frowned, "You're making a mess."

"Same thing!" Joker chuckled.

Edward's frown deepened, "No it isn't. You'd better clean that stuff up. I'm not living in a fucking pigsty."

"You can't tell me what to do!" Joker yelled mockingly, "You're not my real father." More clothes fell, and Edward let out a small growl of exasperation.

"What was that, boy?" Joker continued to call, "Timmy stuck down a well?"

"You've been in here less than 2 minutes and I already want to kill you," Edward mumbled, turning to resume his painting.

"D'awww," Joker cooed, jumping from the bunk and landing hard on the floor, "I'm sorry sweetheart, I'll be super nice from now on, I pwomise."

Edward sighed loudly, trying to concentrate on his painting, as Joker hopped about the room, Edward wasn't sure what he was doing, but the sporadic cackles of laughter didn't fill him with confidence.

He lifted his head, looking over his shoulder, seeing Joker folding his clothes neatly and placing them in the built in draws. He smiled gently, "Thank you," he said gently, trying not to smile.

Joker huffed a little, "Well… I would like at least one ally in this place… even if it is only you."

Riddler rolled his eyes, "Yeah? Well I'd really rather not make friends with the most hated guy here."

"You get beat up enough without my help?" Joker smirked, closing one of the draws and turning to face Edward.

The corner of Riddler's mouth twitched slightly, "No…"

"Because your darling Harvey saves you?" he growled again.

Edward swallowed hard, unsure why Joker would bring Harvey into this, "Do you have a problem with me and Harvey?"

Joker scoffed and shrugged again, leaning against the wall, "Of course not…"

"Then why do you keep saying things like that?" Edward spat.

Joker shrugged, "I dunno, just do, it get's you riled up and I like that."

"But why?!" Edward snapped, turning fully and pushing his legs over the side of the bed, holding the paint in his hand.

Joker shook his head, rolling his eyes, "I can't be bothered to answer that," he mumbled, beginning to climb up to his bed.

Edward growled a little, pulling Joker back down by the ankles, "Fucking tell me you damn clown!"

Joker was suddenly leaning over him, pulling Riddler's face to his own and giving him a hard kiss, his eyes scrunched closed, his teeth scratching Edward's lip, asking them to open. Edward complied, his cognisance dulled by the shock.

After a second his thoughts returned to him, and his brow furrowed, he pulled away from the clown's red lips, and gave the opposing man a hard slap. "What the fuck are you doing?!" he screamed, kicking Joker in the gut. "Get away from me!"

Joker fell backwards, his mouth hanging open. He swallowed hard, wiping his lips and sighing slightly, without another word he climbed to his bunk, leaving Edward shocked in the bed below him.

The lights turned out, and Joker thought for a second that by some odd twist of fate he had died suddenly, but Edward's voice rang through the darkness, cold and hard, "I'm requesting a room change."

Joker huffed and frowned, retorting "I knew I would get rid of you eventually." He shook his head, sighing slightly as he lay in the dark, the greenish paint starting to glow on his face.

Thankyou for reading. please leave a review!