Our Cabbage Patch World

Note: I can't believe I'm writing a BlairXDan fic. Dan totally bores me but then I've read some fic of them and why not? Right? It's cute.

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You've been writing your entire fuck*ng teenage life, maybe that's why people found you boring. You see a beautiful sunset and you write a poem about it, you here a song and a story forms itself in your mind. Then you've written about her… her long blonde hair and her tinkling laugh… your first love, but then… then you suddenly found yourself… writing a story about a certain girl with chocolate curls and a condescending smile… your first love's best friend. Though that was strange enough… you also absolutely hated her.

You're Dan Humphrey… resident lonely boy as a certain gossip site nicknamed you. You're high school life turned from boring to dreamlike when you met Serena Van der Woodsen… who is she? You've got to be kidding me. It turned into hell when you're parents' marriage turned into spirals and you're sister wanted to be a damn designer… on top of that you're relationship with your dream girl went down the drain. Oh it already became that when you met Blair and Chuck (Chuck and Blair.)

Once upon a happy time you thought you would be going to Yale… surprise surprise… you're damn unlucky so you won't. But… if there's anything that sets you apart from others it was your determination for education and damn right that rhymed. So you're here now, in front of a professor in Yale… he's a famous writer, you worship the ground he walks in and you're asking him if there's a chance you could lighten the financial load.

"I don't know Daniel…" he starts and you wanted to correct him on your name. Daniel is a little bit old school.

Silence followed while he weighs your options. You look around nervously wondering if you could survive a year on NYU in the clutches of Blair Waldorf. His office was strictly professional a mahogany desk between you both, wooden black chairs. A big brown wooden closet full of books, a small painting on the wall behind him… it was some kind of boat floating on treacherous waves. You sigh and he smiles at you.

"Maybe… maybe you could write a piece that would make Yale value your potential. You are a good writer Daniel" Again you felt like correcting him but again… you let it go.

"A piece…" you repeat. "Yes… a story… fiction if you'd like…. "He answers. You feel your self relaxing… writing, you could do that and you would even if you couldn't. This is Yale after all.

"I—I guess I could do that…" you answer. "Good… good. I've read you're story on the paper Dan. You're awfully good writing about people."

"Thanks. So can you help me with ideas sir?" you ask because surely this story must be your best.

*****

Jenny must have rambled about her suicide plans to you and you couldn't have heard. The professor suggested you write about someone you know… a real person, flesh and blood. Someone complex and a little bit damaged but awfully intimidating… that always makes for a good read, he said. Of course that sounded familiar you've heard that earlier this year too… when Chuck Bass, your highness, threw you out his limo. What so good about them people anyway, you start to wonder.

Chuck Bass would have you killed if you tried it again with him, but seriously who else could be that damage? Serena had a rough family life but she was anything but intimidating, she was like a ray of sunshine. Nate's family was messed up too but that's all in the past now and Nate's never intimidating either… then… then who?

When you knew the answer you wanted to kick yourself. Don't you know better than to mess with the queen of the upper-east side bitches? Do you really want to Google revenge and click on her site?

But… it was her or Yale… so you knew you had to man up and face 95 pounds of girl evil hiding behind Chanel… You have to know what makes Blair Waldorf click.

And damn it she's going to make you pay for it.

******

You returned Serena's smile when she passed by you as she made her way on the aisle. It was the practice for graduation and you we're seating in there with the rest feeling restless and excited. Just another week and you'll have you're high school diploma.

"Serena's really beautiful. You must be kicking yourself Dan." Ray leaned in and joked. You smile back… though part of it was true… come on you never forget your first love.

"I'm already ready to shoot myself…" I answered back as he chuckled. Unfortunately, Blair Waldorf was taking the aisle when you spoke and she stopped right there and then, not caring about ruining the practice as she sneered down at you. "Oh, don't stress yourself Cabbage Patch; I'll do it for you but… Cedric might cry…" she said smiling sweetly and walking off again.

You followed her with your eyes. Why does she act like that? How can she smile so sweetly after she spat insults after insults at you? And seriously you find yourself wondering why exactly you care… it must be that damn story… Blair had became you're heroine and you wanted to know all you can about her.

The smug smile, the perfectly curled brown hair, the stylish clothes, the snarky remarks, and the person who stood for all that you hate about the Upper East Side… is that all there is to Blair Waldorf?

***********

Serena and Nate were both dragging you to a party before you knew about it. Of course, it would be Chuck Bass who threw it and of course every one would end up drunk. Nelly Yuki even threw up at a flower pot.

You sit with Nate and Serena as they laugh and cheered as people made idiots of themselves. You found yourself looking for her… Blair. You don't see her and that really didn't bother you, every things a little bit lighter when Queen Blair isn't there to make a fool of you. Chuck was in his own heaven, a heaven only Chuck Bass could be content with. Girls after girls he jumped but if you watch him closely… he was looking for her too…..

You finally had enough of the noise and you stood up to leave waving at Nate and Serena.

"Come on, Dan. Don't leave yet. This is boring enough with out Blair and now you have to leave too…" Serena said, still not drunk, via her not anymore into booze policy.

"Ye—ah, Da..niel… me--, duun't leaaave…" Nate slurred via his so into booze policy.

"Really… you two, contrary to popular belief I have a life." You say. Serena and Nate laughed and waved you off. "Fine, fine party pooper…"

The sudden silence unnerved you as you closed the door suite door behind you, you exit 'the palace' and shivered in the cold… it was nearing summer but the cold was not into giving way.

"Humphrey…" you turn. It was Blair, sitting on the steps looking up at you her eyes red. It was the perfect vulnerability you imagined every heroine of a story should have and for a moment you actually felt bad for her… then of course you remember that she's Blair Waldorf and you're being silly.

"Waldorf…" you acknowledge her, being a total coward and walking off. You didn't hear her come up behind you, but when she kicked you on your shins you knew. You turned immediately. "What the---?"

She looked about to cry again as she aimed another kick at you. "Waldorf!" you managed to say as you jumped out of the way. She grabbed your coat and leaned into you. You can't believe it… can't believe that Blair would voluntarily touch you. You stood there as she leaned in closer, her forehead on your chest as she cried. You realized that she was drunk hence the kicking psycho madness but you had no idea why she was crying, and again you wanted to know why… because you had to know everything about her.

"Humphrediot—I—I want to do something reckless… for the end of my high school days… -- youuu… shuuuuld… h—help me… I co—command youuu…" she started looking up at me all doe eyed and child like.

"Wha--?"

"I want to go to Bro-broooklyn!!! I want to walk into a street full of gangsters… I want to watch your dad's corny co—concert's… ta—take me!" she ordered again.

"Wha—t…?"

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I know… I know Chuck and Blair's the big deal… I'm a fan of CB too but it is kind of interesting Dan falling for the girl he absolutely loathes.