Ice: GAARA FIC GAARA FIC GAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAA FIIIIIIICCCCC!

I'm obsessed with Gaara. He's so frickin' cool! Bloodthirsty….but cool! And he was adorable as a kid. Even cuter than Sasuke!

Anyway, Disclaimer.

'Claimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would force someone to make me a baby Gaara-plushie.


It was a great day for The Fifth Kazekage. He had just shown Matsuri the best way to gut and/or kill a fish.

Don't ask, she wanted to learn.

"Hi Gaara! Have you finished all of your paperwork?" His older sister, Temari asked as he nodded.

"Yup! Now, I'm just going to walk around the village."

"But what about-."

"Anti-Fangirl repellent. Sasuke let me borrow some." He sprayed one in an oncoming fangirl's eyes.

"OH SWEET JESUS THAT BURNS!" She ran off screaming.

"Don't worry, they're not from Suna." Gaara said, as Temari let a brief sigh of relief.

"Well, have a great day, Mr. Kazekage! Oh, and Matsuri got you this." Temari handed him a giant chocolate-chip cookie, and another fangirl came upon Gaara. He sprayed her in the face.

"OH SHIT! I USE THOSE FOR SEEING!" He ignored her, and continued.

"Uh…okay…I'll make sure to say thanks." Gaara walked away as he ate the cookie.

"Hey, this is pretty good." He headed back to his office, just to double check if he had finished all of his paper work.


"Hey, what's this?" He hoped it wasn't another fangirl letter. He would have to put sulfur in his eyes if it was.

"Dear Fifth Kazekage,

My son is desperate to meet you. Like, he's saying he'll kill himself if he doesn't get to meet you. So, can he come over, for about two hours? Maybe he'll shut up now.

Sincerely,

Saiyuri Midoriko."

"Huh…that sounds okay...alright Ms. Midoriko, your suicidal son can come meet me!"

Okay. I'm honestly admitting that that wasn't very funny. Suicide isn't funny. If you laugh, then burn in hell.


"Hey Kankuro, I have to meet this kid tomorrow. Do you think you can tell Matsuri I won't be able to train with her tomorrow?"

"Sure thing. 'Ey, who's the kid?"

"I dunno. In the P.S, she described him as he wore eyeliner a lot….liked tight jeans…really hates 'The Emo song', and likes the bands Linkin Park, Hawthorne Heights, Dashboard Confessional, HelloGoodbye, Evanescence, Blue October, and the list goes on. " Kankuro winced, and shook his head apologetically.

"I feel real bad for ya, bro." Kankuro walked away.

"Wait, why? What's gonna happen?" Gaara started to whine, "what's going to ha-pen?!" He slammed his hand on the table in frustration, and pouted.


"Hey Temari, Gaara's gotta deal with 'One of those' people tomorrow." She clicked her teeth.

"Ouch. Well, maybe those years and years of therapy have helped." Kankuro looked at his sister.

"…yeah Kankuro. I know we're fucked."


Today was the day he met that kid. And for some reason, he had this horrible sinking feeling in his stomach. As he ascended the stairs to his office, a young boy pale as all hell, with dark black hair in a diagonal line over his face with black lipstick, and tight jeans. Also, the band 'Crying Slit-Wrists' was on his black t-shirt.

"Okay, so you're uh…Ome, right?" Gaara looked at the boy, who could seriously rival him in the 'bags under your eyes' contest.

"Yeah…" He slipped his hands into his pockets.

"So uh……what do you want to talk about?"

The boy let out a deep sigh.

"Well…"


Two hours later…

"OH GOD! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!!!" It would take a whole freakin' lot to make 'cool and collected' Gaara become 'sniveling pansy waiting for the sweet release of getting out of the room' Gaara. He pulled on the door handle. 'Crap… it's locked on the outside.' He was crying-nay-sobbing. The release of sweet death wasn't going to come to him.


Ten Minuets later…

"Gaara-sensei? What's wrong? I heard sobs…" Matsuri had opened the locked door to a young boy looking oddly at Gaara, and Gaara trying to stab himself in the wrist, but failing as the sand blocked it.

"IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!" He tried again. "IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!" She blinked at him. Some dark kid passed by her.

"Weirdo." Ome muttered under his breath, leaving the room. Gaara hugged Matsuri and cried into her. She some-what hugged him back.

"Oh Matsuri, I'm so glad to see you!" She patted his pack tentatively.

"Well, geez Sensei, it couldn't have been that bad. What could he have done to make you a sniveling wuss?"

"…it…was…horrible…" She hugged her Sensei.

"He was…was…Oh god! The whining! The whining!"

"Oh…so it was basically…" He nodded.

"Do you want another cookie?" He nodded again. "Let's get you another cookie." He followed her to the nearest bakery, and sprayed a few other girls in the face with his anti-repellent on the way.


One week later…

Gaara was back on his feet again. He had completely repressed all of his memories of the incident.

Until, for some odd reason, Sasuke had shown up in Suna. Don't ask, he was just kinda 'there'.

No one did anything, except Gaara, who ran off screaming.

"OH GOD NOT AGAIN! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME! GET HIM AWAY! JESUS, GET HIM AWAY! AAAAAAUGGGHHH!" They all looked at Sasuke, who hadn't done a thing.

"….'Da fuck?" Kankuro followed his brother into his office, where he was sucking his thumb and rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

"Gaara, are you okay?"

"He's…He's one of them…"


Ice: In case you didn't know, I dislike mega-emo people. But I looooove using the word, and calling myself that.

That…probably makes me a hypocrite.

I love Gaara to pieces. He's one of the few people I like and don't mock a lot. The second being Hinata, and third Ino. I think…

Well, don't bug me saying 'ADD ANOTHER CHAPTER' because I won't. Or will I? You don't know!

Anyway, R&R, flames accepted.