((Thanks for reading this. Keep in mind that the first chapter has slight yaoi, and it begins to progress throughout the story. So, if you do not like that kind of stuff, please click the back button at your nearest convenience. Thank you.
I don't own anything.))
Confessions of a Cheshire Cat
one. Chokeberry Pie
The scent of roses overwhelmed my senses, and I drowned in the calming scent. I fell into a blue velvet chair, and was faced with a scarlet rabbit, which was perched on a rotting tree stump. The wooden stub was adorned with colorful fungi which hung down like morning dew off of its peeling bark. Curiously, I looked up; the sky resembled a swirling mix of rainbow sherbet. I felt my stomach growl like a feral dog, and I habitually covered it with my forearms, though the action did nothing for my current condition. Neon green herbs surrounded me on all sides and their soft leaves and miniature buds cushioned the chair on which I sat.
I turned my focus to the rabbit, whose bright eyes gleamed at me like milky marbles. However, the right eye seemed to have a shadow cast over it, though I could not find out where its origins were. Its mouth was twisted into an awkward smile that slightly unnerved me.
"So," the rabbit began, not much to my surprise, "What brings you here?" A cup of apple tea materialized in its paws, and it passed the mug to me. I eagerly took it and sipped it.
"Well, seeing as how this must be a dream, sleep has brought me to this realm." I replied, my eyebrows pressing together. I spit out the tea that had coated my tongue in a disgusting film. I looked at the tea, and noticed it had become redder until it was the color of the rabbit itself.
"What," it shook its head and snarled in disgust. "You don't drink blood?"
-
I woke up in a cold sweat. My hands scrambled for a cloth, and, despite the total darkness of my room, I managed to wrap my fingers around a rag, which I brought to my forehead. It soaked up the sweat instantly, calming me. My brain began to work again and my memories flooded back, including the ominous, premonitory dream that had just plagued my mind like an army of wasps.
I waited in silence, hoping that possibly someone might run inside the door- ("Allen! You look terrible!") -grab my arm- ("Let me warm you up) -and make sure I was all right. But nothing happened. Not the tiniest noise. In those few, lifeless moments, I knew I was alone, and that it wasn't going to change. One tear fell down my cheek. It rolled off my skin and onto my pillow. It stained the white cloth. My eyes closed again, and I felt my eyelids droop like dying lilies- (aptly, the flower of death) – in a glass vase.
I fell into a dreamless sleep, to which I hoped I would never wake from.
-
I woke much later, to my dislike, with the sheets once again twisted around me.
I peeled the thin blanket off of my pale, sticky skin and fell out of bed. Literally. I made a squeak as the floor made a damaging impact with my face. The weak floor trembled underneath me, and I stood up, clad in azure pajama bottoms.
"I need my money, student!" The irate voice penetrated my walls and shook my entire being with its ferocity. The fist belonging to the entity pounded on my door and repeated the words again.
"I'll get it to you soon!" I retorted loudly, but with a hint of drowsiness to my voice. "Just give me one more week!"
The voice was silent for a few moments before speaking again. "Alright, a week. But you better have it by then or I'll personally castrate you."
I felt my legs grow weak as he threatened to cut off my... you know, so it was difficult to change out of my sleeping clothes and into my day clothes.
I straightened my collar, and sighed as I looked in the mirror. The red scar underneath and above my right eye irritated me in the way that it was so obvious and called most of the attention directed at me. As if to add insult to injury, the top half of it was in the shape of a pentagram. On several occasions, I had been told by priests that I was a child of Satan, and that I must be saved. Usually, those meetings ended up in me getting doused in holy water and being jabbed with a cross. Therefore, I tended to stay away from such men of God.
I threw my gray messenger bag over my shoulder and grasped the metal knob on my door. My hand hesitated, as I imagined that my landlord was on the other side of the door. I tentatively opened it and, much to my relief, he was not. I sighed and walked down the drab, lifeless hall of apartments. From the room two doors down from mine, I could hear a couple arguing intelligibly about something. I craved the destruction these apartments produced. Their misery was my own personal drug. The duo's dispute sedated me until I walked outside into the colorful streets of my hometown.
People's fake smiles greeted me. I wanted to shout out at them that they didn't need to wear their masks in place where nobody knew each other. They all cared so much about first impressions, apparently. It irked me greatly, so I rebelled against the upsetting norm; I grimaced. I glued a scowl to my face the whole time I walked to my workplace. Even though I tried to push it out, happiness surrounded me, and I felt more miserable and inferior with each passing grin that attached itself to another face which turned to stare at me, and then continue with the smirking.
Just before I cracked, I reach my destination; work. The only thing that could keep my mind off all the things in my life that had gone wrong was working hard, as odd as it may seem.
The building seemed to say 'hello' to me (Good morning, Allen-kun!) and its doors swung open, happily awaiting my entrance (Or perhaps it was just the exiting customer holding the doors open for me). I walked inside, and was instantly pounced on by my boss, who was, unfortunately, in a very frivolous mood that morning.
"Oh, Allen!" He shrieked. "You're here early! How wonderful! I wasn't expecting you!" Komui Lee exclaimed; shock and giddiness smeared across his face as if it were a piece of toast.
"I'm glad you are so enthusiastic about me being here a few minutes earlier than usual." I deadpanned, walking right past him and grabbing my apron off the hook where the uniforms hung.
Komui persevered, hopping after me like an overly animated puppy dog. "Not just a few minutes! A whole fifteen of them! Isn't that wonderful? Though it doesn't top Lenalee's score!"
"Score…?" I asked, slightly intrigued by my boss's choice of words. I walked into the kitchen and Komui gleefully followed me.
"Yes!" Komui's grin reached his ears, which annoyed me greatly, but I kept myself from making a rude comment. "She showed up a whole hour before her shift started!"
I groaned and replied harshly, "But you and Lenalee live upstairs in the apartment above this café! It's not like she has to walk across town." Like me, I thought discontentedly. My hands slipped into the apron's pockets and I shifted around in the garment uncomfortably.
"Complaining, Bean Sprout?" An all-too familiar voice hissed through its fangs at me from across the kitchen. "That's awfully daring of you."
"Yu…" I put on a mask with a smile plastered on it. "What time did you get here?"
Komui's smile faded to an 'o'. "Kanda actually got here a few minutes after his shift started." He hid behind his palms, awaiting a strike from Yu, which was odd, seeing as how Komui was the boss. But that was the only word to describe Komui Lee, owner of the Black Order Café; odd.
My face mimicked Komui's. "Oh, dear, Yu. What could have caused that to happen? But, you know what they say! Better late than never."
Yu Kanda mumbled something underneath his breath before returning to vigorously dividing cake slices. I felt my stomach growl as I stared at the whipped cream adorning the pastry; an unkind reminder to me that I had, once again, forgotten to eat my breakfast. I clenched my fists inside my pocket, and I felt a piece of paper crinkle in my hand. I lifted my palm out of my pocket. A yellow Post-It note feebly stuck to my hand. It read:
Allen, this is you reminding yourself to order more eggs. There are only a few boxes left.
Of course! How could have I forgotten? Well, at least the me that had written the note foresaw that I would not remember. I silently dashed to the refrigerator to grab the order slip, leaving the sobbing Komui and the cursing Yu Kanda to themselves. I was stopped by a black-haired girl lugging two bags of flour, one in each arm. I instantly grabbed one without thinking, forgetting the order form.
"Hello, Allen. You're here early." Lenalee observed, nodding me a thanks, as her hands were occupied with the bag of flour she held.
"Yeah, everyone seems to be noticing it." I sighed, easily holding the flour with one arm. I follower her into the bread room, where we set down the bags of flour. "But aside that, how are you?" I asked, hoping to hide the lethargy in my previous statement.
"I'm doing fine, but brother seems to be extremely jumpy lately. I think something has been bothering him."
I hadn't noticed anything different about Komui, but being his sister, Lenalee would notice anything off about him in a heart beat. After being separated when they were younger, their reunion made them grow closer than two peas in a pod. I couldn't understand their sibling-love because I was an only child.
"I bet it's nothing big." I knew straight away I was wrong due to the look on Lenalee's face which plainly said 'Something big is going to happen.'
"Allen," Lenalee murmured shyly, turning her head to the side, perchance to avoid eye contact. "Maybe we should get back to work."
I nodded. "You're absolutely right, Lenalee." I didn't want to bother her anymore; I could tell that she had a lot of things on her mind.
From a separate part of the café I could hear Miranda Lotto and Arystar Krory having a conversation about the espresso and pastry shop across the street. I strained my ears to hear what they were saying.
"Damn it! I heard that Noah's Ark has been getting a lot of customers lately. Maybe we should cut our prices." Arystar's voice was hushed; as if he were hiding.
Miranda's was as well, but she seemed to be more irritated than Arystar about the matter. "No! That would be admitting defeat and losing money that we clearly deserve."
"What is it about their products that attracts so many customers?" Arystar muttered.
"A theme, obviously."
"What? What do you mean?"
"There is a reason they are called Noah's Ark. They have two of every kind of pastry. Like two kinds of cupcakes, and cakes, and so forth."
"But isn't that unfulfilling?!" Arystar said loudly, drawing the attention of several customers.
However, Miranda did not waver. "But many customers find that cute."
"So you're saying…"
"Yes, we need something cute to draw in customers."
At that point, Arystar and Miranda stood up tall and smiled to one another, exchanged a hug, and returned to their duties. I sighed and turned away.
"ALLEN!" Komui shouted from across the building, disrupting the peace of the café. "WE NEED YOUR EXPERTISE!"
I moaned and walked past Lenalee and Kanda in the kitchen to Komui, who was near the front door. He looked extremely worried, and I recalled Lenalee's words earlier. He does seem jumpy, I thought to myself, though I could've sworn I had spoken it, because a few customers looked at me with a discomforted expression drawn on their faces. Then again, it could have been my scar.
"I need you to deal with a certain customer." He glanced to a redhead sitting alone in one of the corner booths. I followed his gaze and noticed that the cap of crimson hair belonged to a green-eyed male who was busily typing away on his Macbook. I glared at Komui.
"Why? He seems perfectly normal to me." The customer then turned his head and I noticed the black eye patch hiding his right eye. "Well, except for his pirate-y quality. Maybe he's stopping by for a snack before seeing an arr-rated movie." Upon seeing Komui's concerned look, I added; "I was joking, sorry."
"But I need this customer. It will help our business! You know how Noah's Ark has been stealing most of our customers, so we need to pay special attention to first-timers." Komui explained quietly, tapping his fingers on his coffee mug,
"Why don't I go help a different first-timer? It's not like he's the only one here who is new. I'll go help that nice lady over there." I glanced over at a woman with caramel brown hair who was tending to her young child. "She looks as if she could use some help."
Komui's eyebrows knitted together. "No! I'll get Kanda to do it. That's why I hired him, anyways."
"You hired Kanda because of his ability to deal with people?" When I thought of Kanda 'dealing' with people, it involved his sword and lots of blood.
"Yes!" Komui replied impatiently. "Now, go tend to that customer or- or- or you're fired!"
I jumped at least a foot into the air because Komui didn't seem to be joking, so I materialized beside the redhead's side. I glanced at Komui; he was walking into the kitchen with a harsh "CORNER!" I could hear Lenalee jump to the side and Kanda slice the fruit faster.
"Is there anything I can get for you, sir?" I asked in my most polite voice.
The redhead kept typing silently for a few moments before answering my question. "Uh, wait a minute…" He lightly bit his tongue while he furiously typed. I could barely keep up with his speedy fingers darting across the keyboard. Then he stopped and looked up at me with his bright green eye and pitch black eye patch. "I'll have an organic Fair Trade, locally roasted, iced soy hazelnut latte, easy on the soymilk, and a clover honey and thinly sliced almond croissant with a cup of fruit, preferably oranges, peaches, and apples, please." Much to my surprise, he was able to say it all in one breath while smirking like an angel the entire time.
What the bloody hell? My eye twitched uncontrollably as I attempted to scrawl his order down on a small notepad. I had barely written down what he wanted for his coffee before he spoke again.
"Did you need me to repeat that?" He said, smiling at me like he wasn't being a complete coffee snob. I really wanted to slap him, but I had a miniature Komui in the back of my head threatening me to ask him if that was all.
"Will that be all, s-sir?" I grinded my teeth and pressed my tongue against the roof of my mouth in an attempt to not to cuss out the male who beamed so ignorantly at me like I was his servant.
"Yes, may I speak with your manager? I have something to say about the staff."
I swallowed something that felt like a ball of lead. Had I sneered too much at him already? Was Komui going to fire me without giving me my paycheck? Would I go to my apartment, jobless, and have my landlord, Cross Marian, geld me with his bare hands? My bravado instantly faded.
"Uh, yes. I will go get him- er, my manager, and get your order… immediately… MASTER, I MEAN SIR!" My tongue suddenly felt heavy as I walked (extremely fast, mind you) to Komui's side.
"Well, well. What is it, Allen?" He asked, smoothing back his black hair and fixing his beret. "What is wrong?"
Does he already know? I wondered nervously inside my head. Am I too obvious? "The customer would like to speak with you." My legs turned to spaghetti, and I nearly fell onto my boss, but his laugh awakened me.
"I was curious as to when he would ask that, but I didn't think it would be so soon in the game."
"W-what? You knew this would happen?" I asked, but Komui had already walked over to the customer's side with a cheerful air about him.
I walked into the kitchen, dazed, and approached Kanda, whose face twisted into a tighter scowl with every step I took toward him. "What do you want, Bean Sprout?" He snarled.
"Uh," I glanced at the notepad, but the writing was so cramped that I could not read it. "The Sir wants some coffee, a croissant, and a bowl of fruit… stuff."
Kanda's scowl faded, and was replaced with a mocking look. "Seems you're blanking."
"… … Sure, why not." I replied, falling against the wall. The colors of the room all seemed to swirl into one as I pictured my landlord mutilating me as I screamed bloody murder.
"Wait, Allen! You have to say something mean back to me! I need my rival back!" Kanda shouted, slapping my face. However, nothing soothed me when I noticed Komui grabbing my notepad and reading aloud what the customer had really ordered.
After my boss had corrected the order and Kanda had begun to busily prepare the coffee and arrange the fruit and croissant, I stood up and faced my higher-up with a glazed look on my face.
"Allen, I need to speak with you soon, but for now, I would appreciate it if you took the customer's order to him." Komui said sternly, handing me the aforementioned order and placing it in my spread palms.
"But, uh, ah… I want to… Erm. Aaagh." I muttered incoherently before stumbling over to the redhead and handing him his drink and food.
I lingered as the male took a sip of his coffee (pinky up!) and set it down next to his fruit and croissant, all while dynamically typing away on his laptop.
After he had finished eating and resumed keying with both hands, I grabbed his plate and cup and took them to the dish pit, where Arystar was busily cleaning a large bowl.
"Looks like someone doesn't like apple or oranges." He remarked before returning to the mound of bubbles that was forming around his wrists. I looked down at the bowl, and noticed that all the oranges and apples hadn't even been touched, let alone eaten.
"That bastard." I grunted, forcefully slamming the dishes into the rack and startling Arystar. "I'm going to snipe that bloody bastard." My words were slurred, and I could barely understand what I was saying. I was starting to feel destructive, so I grabbed the coffee mug that the redhead and used and smashed it to the ground while also spewing a stream of curse words from my mouth. Arystar stared at me; mouth dropped as if a brick was attached to it and letting the dish water spill onto the ground, rinsing the floor with its soapiness. I saw heads peek into the kitchen, but I continued to dirty my mouth and children's ears.
Eventually, I began to shout the obscenities, but by then Komui was running toward with me with a frying pan in hand. It took a moment before I realized his notions, and then I ran for it, dashing for the outside, where I could easily climb the maple tree, away from the dangerous frying pan titled 'Komlin'.
However, as my sweaty fingers wrapped around the handle, a hard metal surface came down on the part of skull that protected the occipital lobe, knocking me unconscious.
-
"Brother, I think you may have given him a concussion. He might sue you…" Lenalee's voice drifted into my ears. Suing Komui sounded like a good idea at the moment, and I would probably get enough money for the month's rent. But I quickly realized that Lenalee would be affected by the loss of money, and the idea died like a mayfly.
"I would sue! Hell, I would slash you with a kitchen knife!" Kanda growled like a bear fresh out of hibernation. The idea of Kanda with bear ears and a bear tail made me smile a bit.
Komui chuckled as he noticed my grin. "I'm afraid Allen is unharmed. See? He's waking up."
I took that as an invitation to open my eyes. I rubbed the back of my head, where Komlin, the famed frying pan, had struck me, but I felt not even the slightest of discomfort there. I sat up and looked at my coworkers with a blank gaze.
"Aren't I fired?" I asked shyly. "I did do a lot of bad things."
Komui Lee, being the man he is, shook his head and laughed. "No, you still work at the Black Order Café, but! BUT! You do owe me money for breaking that coffee mug."
I beamed, my cherubic cheeks turning pinker with each passing moment. Even paying for the coffee mug didn't seem like such a bad thing (At least until I would arrive home, and my landlord would threaten me.)
"So what about the customer? Was he a friend who you asked to be über bitchy so you could put me to the test?"
The room grew silent, and Lenalee frowned at her brother, who threw a worried glimpse at me.
"Well, not really. Let's say I'm a fan of him, and he really is, as you put, 'über bitchy', but he will attract customers… At some point, if you do as you are told." Komui explained.
I groaned. So the redhead really wasn't pretending to be high maintenance.
Miranda looked at Komui, and he nodded to her. "Well, um, Allen, I know you overheard Krory and me talking earlier."
"Uh… Uh-huh." I confirmed her statement.
"Well, as you know, we were talking about how we could do something to attract more customers… and, well, we came up with a great idea."
"Well, spit it out."
"Don't kill me if you don't like it…"
"Just tell me. I won't kill you. At least I won't, but I can't guarantee Kanda will tolerate it…" I grinned at the long-haired chef.
He narrowed his eyes at me and copied my smile. "Oh, Bean Sprout, I've already heard it. And I can guarantee you won't be able to tolerate it.
"Well, cross-dressing."
"… …"
"… …"
"I CAN'T TOLERATE SUCH A DISGUSTING THING!" I shrieked, grabbing Komui's shoulders. "Will I be the only one?
Komui nodded, and I felt my stomach melt and my brain freeze. "Yes, because you're the only waiter who is a boy and Kanda doesn't need to a dress to look like a woman…"
"Oi! Komui!" Kanda's eyes lit up with flames. I could tell he was going to say something worse. "And guess what exactly you'll be wearing, Bean Sprout?"
I gulped. "… What?"
"You're going to be a French maid for, possibly, the rest of your career here."
Even words couldn't describe my horror. And on top of that, Komui had to add the cherry to the banana split.
"The customer did have something very helpful to say to me. And I think I might have to tell it to you, Allen." He said austerely. He leaned over and whispered in my ear.
"The customer said, and I quote: Your waiter is adorable when he gets pissed off."
To make it all worse, I forgot to order the eggs.
((Well, that's it. Please mind that the beginning of this chapter was very angsty, and that the next few chapters will be light. However, angst shall surely return. Please review... Flames will deterr me, so please use constructive crticism if you must. I know the characters are slightly OOC.))
