Heartbaked: Left in the flour dust
I knew something was off when she got all dressed up like that, fancy skirt and all. I knew something was very off when she headed off on a rare personal delivery to some mystery client. I knew that she had found someone worthy of her love. And that someone wasn't me.
It still hurts, thinking about how that was the first time I had ever seen her wear that skirt. I had gotten it specially tailored for her as a one-of-a-kind birthday present, only for it to end up hidden beneath the layers of aprons and kitchen clothes filling her closet. How ironic was it that my thoughtful gift had been used to woo such a disgusting, messy sheepman?
Just the other day, Ginger had confronted me about my...less-than-kind attitude towards Benjamin. Unsure of what to say, I'd simply kept submissive and promised to do as she asked.
"He's had a rough past," she had whispered in my ear. "Please, for the love of Pastry God, treat him with dignity and respect. That's all I'm asking, 'kay?"
Oh, Ging. Perhaps I could have looked past his "untidiness" if he were just some ordinary customer in your shop. But when he told me to "back off" like I'm some creep trying to steal his girl? Come. On.
It's gotten to the point where every time Benjamin enters the shop, I have to make up some excuse to go clean some other area far away from the kitchen. For the kitchen is now their "lovers' dwelling", and if I'm anywhere near it I can just feel the tension brewing between us two guys. It's childish, I know, but it's also incredibly painful to deal with every single day.
When Benjamin strolls in again today (unsurprisingly, with Bethany and Bernard trailing behind him) I decide that enough is enough. Ginger deserves to know the truth, and she deserves to have at least one person display the type of genuine love that will complete her Heartbaked pastry (Benjamin has been holding off on fully expressing his feelings just yet, and Ging is being waaay too patient about it).
After the couple finally share their goodbye kiss for the day and we've begun to close up shop, I muster up the courage to pull Ginger aside for this much-needed discussion.
"What's up, Rads? You seem pretty worked up."
"Yeah, worked up is a good way to put it. Honestly, I've been feeling this way ever since you and Beeenjamin became official."
She furrows her brow. "Why is that?"
"Ging, you know how Ben and I can't really get along?"
"That's quite obvious from how you two interact."
"Look, Ging, it's complicated. I'm glad that you're happy with him, I really am. It's just..."
She looks up at me inquisitively with that gorgeous green gaze of hers.
"Ireallylikeyoutoo." It all spills out in one huge mess.
An uncomfortable silence hangs in the air as Ginger processes what I've revealed.
She breaks off eye contact and lets out a shaky sigh. "Rads, I...I'm so sorry."
I shake my head. "Don't be sorry, Ging. It's not your fault. Even if you'd tried, you couldn't have forced yourself to have feelings for me."
"But I...it's just...I never realized you felt that way."
"And that's okay! That's why it wasn't meant to be."
"Oh, Radley..."After a short pause, Ginger looks me in the eye again. "Do you know why I even started that quest for love in the first place?"
To her surprise, I nod and grin. "Yeah—you needed to finish the Heartbaked recipe, right? Which, for some reason, still hasn't been accomplished."
"Rads, that was only the spark of it all. I mean, at this point it's for sure going to happen, so I'm just waiting for the right moment.
Anyway the point is that Ben's and my relationship...it didn't start from an honest place either. I would've hurt you the same way I did him once you found out the truth."
My gut is telling me not to say it. But I go ahead anyway.
"Ging, I knew from the very start that you wanted to finish that recipe more than anything in the world. For your grandma, for the Pastry God, and for beating Carver to be the best pastry chef around. I knew, and I didn't care. I was almost hoping you'd use me for the recipe...because I loved you so much, and maybe then you'd finally notice that."
Ginger simply stares at me with a mix of shock, pain, and regret.
"If you picked me, Ging, I would've made that pastry explode with all of my love for you. I've loved you that much. And I still do."
Uh-oh. Pastry God help me, she's full-on sobbing now.
"Ging, I'm so sorr—"
"What. Have. You. Done?"
Suddenly, I turn around and see a giant sheep man looming over the both of us, his body visibly shaking with fury.
"Ben, it's okay—"
"Nothing appears to be 'okay' here. I demand to know what has upset my sweet Ginger in such a horrible manner."
Unexpectedly, Ginger turns around and lashes out in a way I've never seen before.
"Benjamin, for Pastry God's sake, stay OUT of this and LEAVE US ALONE."
Ben takes several steps back, eyes widened in disbelief. He exits the room without another word.
When Ginger turns back to me, I seriously start to regret it all.
"Look, Ginger, just forget I said anything, okay? None of this is your fault, and I'd hate for you to feel guilty over it."
"How can I forget something like that?! How can I forgive myself for ignoring my childhood friend to the point that I couldn't even recognize his feelings for me?!l
This is bad. I never thought she would react this intensely.
"Ginger—"
"I'm so, so sorry. I...I wish I had known."
I nod, not knowing how to properly respond.
"Radley, to be honest, I thought you only cared about cleanliness and tidiness. I had no idea you cared about me so much, especially in a romantic way. And if I did, well...maybe things could've been different."
She takes a deep breath.
"Rads, I think I would've chosen you."
I take her by the shoulders and give her an earnest look.
"Ginger, please don't think that way. If you never got all the hints I've been dropping for the past few years, it really just wasn't meant to be. Seriously."
I wipe away a few of her tears. She wraps her arms around me, and I reciprocate without hesitation.
"I love you, Ginger. But that doesn't mean you have to feel the same way about me.
I want you to be happy. If that means having a life with Benjamin, then that's great. I know I'm not the best at showing it, but I'm super glad that you've found someone who loves you just as much as I do."
"Radley...I don't deserve you." I see a smile start to creep up her face. "You know, that'd be a really nice compliment to tell Ben...if only he didn't despise you."
"What do you mean?"
"That he loves me as much as you do. It's probably the nicest thing you've ever said about him."
Gee pastries. That makes it sound like I'm as stuck up as Carver.
Ginger giggles. "Aw, you know I'm just teasing. But hey, I really do appreciate it. It's so sweet that you're thinking so much of my happiness...even at the cost of your own."
"Ging, I just wanted to let you know the truth about my feelings towards you. I thought it was better you find out now than later.
But now that I've told you, there's no need to be upset or feel guilty about what happened. You're happy with Ben, and I'm happy for you."
"Thanks, Rads. That means a lot."
We embrace again, and this time the sentiment is clear: no lovey-dovey, mushy-gushy romance—just the purity of a heartfelt love between two childhood friends.
After a while, she breaks off the hug. "I should apologize to Ben with a huge helping of apple pie. He really didn't deserve to be yelled at like that."
I nod and pat her on the shoulder.
"That sounds perfect. Do you want me to help?"
"Actually, that'd be great! Thanks, Rads."
"Of course. Anything for you, Ginger." We share a loving smile before getting to work.
