Finish one story, start another. That's TBS for you.
Enjoy.
Prologue
It helps to be impulsive sometimes.
Because when you're in that state of mind, you aren't worrying about the pain you're in or the anger bubbling over or the consequences that might result from your behavior. You're numb to emotions and focused on only one thing. That one thing could be ironing, sleeping, eating. Anything that'll occupy your attention and keep the unwanted feelings at bay.
"Stephanie?"
In my case, that one thing was Carlos Manoso bka Ranger. The enigmatic, dark man of my life. The other man I loved. The man who made it perfectly clear he didn't want relationships. The perfect man I could use to numb me even further.
In one way, Ranger was responsible for all of this. It was his fault I was standing outside of his door right now, it was his fault I had gotten into another fight with my boyfriend, Morelli, it was his fault I was so hopelessly confused, his fault.
You might say I was being unfair but even if I agreed, I wouldn't care. I wanted to blame, I wanted to strike out, I wanted to do something unspeakable and not feel guilt while doing it. And not only would Ranger be the target but he'd also aid me in my quest for revenge.
He stared at me through slightly slanted eyes and I could tell from his bare chest and boxers that he had been sleeping before my impatient knocking woke him up.
"What's wrong?" He asked when I remained stoic and silent.
There were so many things I could respond with. So much information I could spurt out. So many tears I could shed. But I didn't do any of that. I didn't want to talk or cry or worry tonight. I wanted to feel needed and wanted and cared for.
So I leaned into him, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I felt him stiffen for only a second before relaxing into it and deepening the kiss. When we broke away, he stared into my eyes. "Steph-"
I shushed him and kissed him again. Deeper, fiercer, hungrier. He ran his hands up the front of my shirt and splayed them against my stomach.
"Stephanie wait..." He started again, pulling away. I could see something unusual flicker in his eyes; apprehension, concern, uncertainty. I tightened my hold on him and pressed my lips to him a third time. I wasn't going to give him enough time to rethink this. I wasn't going to let him question me about Joe or figure out what happened. I needed this. I needed Ranger.
"Take me." I whispered in his ear. He stood still for a moment. Contemplating, weighing his options, I guessed. He knew something was wrong. He knew I wasn't being myself. I couldn't let him push me away. Not tonight. So I trailed my finger down his chest, past his waist and lower. I heard his quick intake of breath while I stroked him. "Now."
He pulled me inside, shut the door and carried me to the bed.
Apparently, I wouldn't have to tell him twice.
