Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or any related characters or objects. In fact, after this chapter I won't even own this story. Woohoo!

The Uninspired Tale of the Titans

Introduction

Hello, all. Lihau here. Yeah, I haven't ventured into the Titans section of FanFiction for a while. That would be because I have no ideas. So I'll just type what is going on in the Titans' headquarters right now…

Nothing.

Nothing's happening because I have no ideas of what to write.

Oh, wait. Speedy's just walked in. The little so-and-so. I would say something else about him, but my mom would probably sic Superman on me if I used that kind of language…

I look up from my PC and smile sweetly at the archer, who is completely oblivious that I just called him a so-and-so, and that I would have called him much worse had it not been for my desire to keep all of my limbs intact.

"Hi, Speedy," I greet him, still pretending like I think he's the greatest thing since the crayon sharpener.

"Yeah, whatever," he replies carelessly. I can tell that he is bored out of his rude little mind. Well, I guess that rudeness is partially Green Arrow's fault, since he's such a rotten mentor.

Speedy leans an elbow on the top of my chair and looks at what I'm typing… which could mean trouble if he decides to read the part about my thinking he's a—

Yup, there it is. He's really ticked now.

"What the heck?! You don't have any dorky ideas to turn into stories?!"

Oh, good… he didn't read very much…

"I'll take care of that! You buzz off for a few hours and I'll write something!"

HUH?

"Go on! Let's see," he starts muttering to himself, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "What should I call it? 'The Adventures of the Greatest Titan Ever, A.K.A. Speedy'?"

…?

"Nah, too long."

"Uh, Arrows?" I interrupt carefully.

"Yeah, what?" he asks absently, still thinking aloud of what to name his—MY—new story. In his musings for a title, I think he might have mentioned something about his being the real leader of the Titans, and that Robin is just a puppet leader, but… anyway.

"I already have a title for my story," I explain, still speaking warily. "And that's just what it is, actually. This is my story. Not your story. My story. …Okay?"

Speedy stops looking pensive and stares at me. Which is kinda unnerving, considering that he's been clutching his bow and an arrow this entire time and now he's pointing them at me…

"Um, Speedy?" I meekly ask. "You aren't gonna shoot me… are you?"

The archer puts his arrow back in his quiver and shakes his head. "No. But I do really want to write a story."

What the heck?

"Well… Birdboy's been getting on my back about my grades in English lately, and he's given me this stupid writing assignment to 'hone' my 'authoring skills'… so… I need to write something.

"I need to write. You need a story to post. So I'll write your little story and send a copy to Batbreath, and then I'll let you post it if he gives me a good grade. Okay?"

'Okay'? Come to think of it, this is great! A story written by Speedy! And I'll get to post it!

"Are you kidding me?! That's awesome! Write! Please!"

Okay, people, from now on this is Speedy's story! I gotta go running around the streets like a maniac, screaming at the top of my lungs that I get to post something written by a Teen Titan!