A/N: Gabriel is not dead, deal.

Once upon a sunny afternoon, Gabriel got bored. Really bored. He decided to screw with his favorite dysfunctional duo as a means to fight off the tedium. As Gabriel located them, he let out a squeal of joy—it was his favorite time to disturb the brothers! They were having an EWM: an Emotional Winchester Moment.

Sam was near tears. Dean immersed in his customary state of denial and self loathing. It had been a night of many life-endangering moments, perception shattering truths and a lost fingernail. (A/N: the actual events of the night are not important).

Gabriel was delighted by the saccharine sweetness of Sam and Dean's emotional retardedness. He briefly toyed with the idea of channeling all that angst into a feminine Winchester duo, dually PMS-ing and ready to bring on the apocalypse. At least if they were women, Gabriel figured that they'd hug and he'd have a front row seat to some girl on girl action. If he felt generous he might even give them a box of chocolates.

Deciding that he would save that thrill for a rainy day, Gabriel proceed with his original plan: the Winchesters were going cartoon.