I have absolutely no idea as to what brought this about. I don't remember the initial train of thought or anything. I guess that also kind of explains why it's so short. I dunno, I just like to write about Naminé, mostly because I kind of dislike her. You know, okay, I like her in that she's, well, Naminé. But it's just hard for me to excuse in my mind some of the things that she did. Still, maybe that's what it's about—trying to get us to realize exactly how forgiving Sora is by nature, because I know I sure would have given her a harder time about it.
Okay, now I'm rambling. So, please enjoy this vaguely titled, tragically brief, and Naminé-centric one-shot.
Conscience
The more Naminé thought about it, the harder it was to escape those dreams. And the more she dreamed, the less she wanted to draw. The less she drew, the longer it would take to set things right. But it was hard to remember such things when she was thinking about him: Sora.
Naminé knew she had done wrong. And she knew how to make it better, at least a little. But to do that, she'd have to do the one thing she'd dreaded all along: having to remind her Sora, her hero, about his real princess. Kairi was a difficult Other to love when the girl was stealing away Naminé's only hope. But in the witch's daydream fantasies, Kairi's significance to Sora didn't survive his journeys through Castle Oblivion and his new "memories."
In those daydreams, when she turned away from him after telling him that there was someone else, his gentle but strong hand caught her shoulder and turned her to face him.
"Naminé," he'd whisper. "You've put me through a lot since I've been here. I've suffered a lot."
"I know," she'd breathe fearfully, anticipating his imminent rejection. But then he'd say:
"But I know that you have too." And as she looked into his sky-like eyes, Sora would move both of his hands to the sides of her face, his thumb—the right one, she'd decided—would brush gently across her lips as he told her, "And I know I can help you forget this mess that's happened here. Naminé, there will never be anyone for me besides you. You've tainted my memories, but they're the happiest I've ever had. I don't want to remember anyone if it means I have to leave you forever."
After Naminé confessed that this was what she'd wanted all along, and the only thing she'd tried to do when she was knowingly hurting him and the Riku replica, he'd smile and lean in close to her.
And then—
Then, Naminé would remember with a guilty jolt that such an ending ill fit a witch like her, a Nobody. One who was not meant to exist, and who spent her stolen existence stealing the memories from the boy she loved—no, counted on to free her.
A witch was not meant to love, much less a Nobody witch. Naminé's fantasies were merely a result of her desire to escape her prison and truly live, or so Lexaeus said. And what Nobody could ever hope to truly live, or to love at all? A Nobody, the Silent Hero explained, could not even love its own life, its motives, its existence, its allies. Even if she were a somebody, what could possibly make Naminé worthy of falling for a hero like Sora? What about her could possibly make him fall for her?
But Naminé knew she had something that could make a boy fall in love with her. Her false memories, when imparted to Sora and the Replica, apparently generated similar feelings in both heroes. Perhaps she could even be satisfied with the Replica's company after Sora—but maybe not. Why would a puppet whose heart was modeled after Riku's settle for a liar and a witch?
There was a chance that Naminé could somehow cause fate to bring him back to her, or to let Sora stay. She could draw herself with one of them, she could change the course of destiny, change Sora's fate to save the very World… But she wouldn't hurt him anymore. Not by giving him lies with her as the star.
Something here was going to have to give. So Naminé bowed her head, saying one last goodbye to the Sora of her daydreams, and stood, tossing her chair back.
You have many hurts to heal, Sora, she thought as her footsteps echoed through the lonely halls that seemed to add their own sorrow and resolve to her tired mind. But I won't let myself be part of those hurts. Not anymore. This time I'll do whatever it takes to help someone connected to you. To help atone for what I've done.
Naminé smiled down at her notebook one year later, remembering that moment and how it had led to the difficult conversation she was about to have with someone very important.
"Roxas…"
This was it. The person she could help. She was finally going to be able to help start making things right. So she smiled and gazed at that amazing boy who was even less Nobody than she was, but who somehow still seemed as though he belonged by her side, because she, too, was a special Nobody, and said the words that would start the end of things:
"Don't you want to know the truth about who you really are?"
END: "Conscience"
Thank you for reading.
-RSS
