A/N: The only good thing that came out of Adam dying was that I suddenly know how to write fic again...That is in no way a good thing.
Originally titled: Adam Lived Bitches
Shiro placed his left hand on the plaque. Seeing Adam's name there still hurt, even though it should have been long enough. For Shiro, he didn't think it would ever be long enough. He left his boyfriend- fiance- here, alone, all for space, and he wasn't there when he died. They didn't have anything to bury. The explosion…. He didn't want to think about it.
He placed the flowers he had been holding with his prosthetic hand at the bottom of the memorial, alongside someone else's from the day before. At least one family came a day to remember the loved one's they lost. Shiro recognized most of them whenever he was down here, but for now it was just him. It had been eight months since the end, and this was the one time he was ever here alone. And this is the one time he really needed it.
"Hey, Adam," He choked out the words as he stared at the photo. He placed his hand on the plaque again. He closed his eyes and willed himself to hold back tears. "Happy Anniversary." Just for a moment before it all came pouring out. The tears streamed one by one, the wound in his heart just as big as the day he found out. Just as fresh, just as painful, still filled with all the lost time. He willed himself to start to form words.
"A lot's happened since I came back to earth." He opened his eye. He had memorized every detail of Adam's face, but he would always need to see it. "I haven't told you everything, but that's because I never feel like I have enough time. Someone has to keep the garrison from falling apart. Although I always believed that was going to be you one day.
"Keith's good. He told me how worried you were about him after he got expelled. Though you really should have known he would have picked the desert over civilization. He's become such a good leader. You would be proud of him. Although I don't think you would be shocked to find out he's part Galra. You never did believe he was fully human." Shiro took a deep breath willing the words to come out of him again.
"I wished I left you a message. I know I was technically dead, and my clone was there when Sam got sent back to earth," Normally, there'd be some kind of sarcasm in his voice, but he doesn't even give the effort. "but I still wish I did. You wouldn't hav-" the words became choked in his throat for another moment. "You wouldn't have died thinking that I didn't love you. Or that I had forgotten about you. I don't know what you thought. But-" His breath became heavy. He was always good at finding the words for everything, but when it came to this, to Adam, he seemed incapable of useing them.
"I should have been there. I should have been the one flying that ship. You never wanted to be a part of anything like that." Shiro smiled to himself. "Knowing you, if we were switched, you'd be saying the exact same thing right now." The were three small beeps coming from this new arm. His meeting was soon.
"I have to go. Yeah, I know I'm the worst. Working on our anniversary." There was no reply to his small joke, not that he expected one. "I love you." He let his hand fall from the plaque, and stared at the picture a moment longer. He wiped his face of the remainder of his tears, and then began to make his way out of the memorial.
"We found the remains of the navigation logs from Sendak's cruiser." Pidge began, the schematics going up on the screen. "We were able to get most of the coordinates. So far they're mostly just Galra bases, or planets that were previously occupied by the Galra. But we think that there might be a few locations that the Galra still might be occupying."
"Some warlords or stragglers," Matt continued. "One's that could be defeated easily if we took them out one by one."
"We don't want to provoke any of them." Allura countered. "We don't need another attack on earth."
"But we can't have the separate factions grouping up together," Keith said. "We also don't need a second Galra empire."
"Wouldn't that technically be the third galra empire?" Hunk asked.
"Might be fourth." Lance said.
"Either way," Keith said, hoping to stop them all from losing focus. "We should stop it before it starts."
"We'll go over all the locations once we have them all." Shiro said. "Then we'll find out what each one is and decide what to do then. I think we should be looking for prisons and labor camps first. Our mission is to help others, and that's what we're doing first. Everyone in agreement?" The paladins and Matt nodded. "Good. Allura how's your progress with the robot coming?"
"We've figure out how most of it seems to work, however, we have yet to uncover its power source." Allura replied.
"Any idea where it came from?"
"No. All we can tell is that it has some similar designs to Lotor's. But it doesn't seem to run in the same way."
"Keep working on it." Allura nodded. "I think that's it for today. I'll see you all tomorrow." They each grabbed their stuff and said goodbye to him as they left the meeting room one by one. All except Keith, who was now leaning against the wall. Kosmo at some point had appeared at his feet. "Is there something wrong Keith?"
"You tell me." Keith said. He didn't look angry, but Shiro could tell there was something he wanted to say.
"Nothing's wrong Keith." Shiro got up from his chair and started turned to make his way out of the meeting room. He was able to get out but Keith called after him.
"Shiro…" He really should have known that Keith would follow him out. The younger man knew what day it was. "Are you okay?" He turned around to face Keith, and immediately regretted it. The unknown expression had changed to concern. Just knowing why the expression was etched on his face caused another stab of pain to go through his heart.
"Yeah, I'm fine Keith." Shiro replied.
"Alright." Keith began. "I just know that today-"
"Keith," Shiro interrupted. "Don't. Just don't." His hand curled into a fist. He couldn't break down. Not now. He had to make it till the end of the day. "Not right now."
"Okay." Keith took several steps forward, and placed his hand on Shiro's prosthetic shoulder. "You know I'm right here if you need me."
"I know." Shiro turned, Keith's hand falling off his shoulder in the process, and headed back down the hallway, trying to become calm again.
Just till the end of the day.
Shiro was in and out of meetings all day. Nothing big. Just minor negotiations or check ins on certain projects. He couldn't take anything bigger. Not today. When he was finally done, and made his way back to his Garrison apartment. The one he used to share with Adam.
The doors swung open. When he found out that Adam had died, he expected to find it empty, all the personal stuff put in storage. But apparently Sam insisted that they keep it the same. Everything had hit him all at once when he the first time he had entered the apartment in years, and it never seemed to stop. The furniture was all the same, the little pieces of their lives laid all across. He refused to move anything that was specifically Adam's. That left most of the study untouched, the pictures of Adam's parents still stayed on the wall. His jacket was still left on the chair.
Shiro didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to look at all that was left from the love of his life. All he wanted to do was lie on the bed, and cry his eyes out. To hold the ring Adam gave to him. To hold Adam.
He went into the kitchen and pulled a drink off the top of the shelf. He didn't bother with the glass. Just opened it and brought it to his lips, quickly swallowing, barely bothering to taste it, hoping the numb feeling would come faster. It didn't. He removed the bottle from his mouth and made his way to the bedroom.
He stared at the door. Behind there were so many memories. So much time spent together in there. He let the door open. Everything was just as he had left it. As Adam had left it. The bed unmade, closet half open, an empty glass on his desk. He did this every night. Telling himself that he'd sleep in there tonight. And every night he couldn't bare the thought of the other half of the bed, cold and empty. Without Adam there what was the point. He closed the door, and made his way to the living room and sat on the couch. He placed the bottle on the table, and slowly took out the chain beneath his uniform. On the end was the ring. The one Adam had given him what feels like a lifetime ago, but also feels like yesterday. It was a simple gold band with a ruby in the center. He's still surprised he never lost it out in space.
Shiro finally broke. He placed his head in his hands and began to cry.
Adam looked at the ring on his finger. It was surprising that any of the guards let him keep it. The little stones of amethyst on it were probably worthless to beings from another world. But it was worth more than anything to him. It reminded him each day that he had someone out there to get back to. Had helped him keep track of the days and nights. It was their anniversary. The fifth one that he didn't have Takashi with him.
"You know," He looked up. His cellmate, Hunter, was laying down on the opposite end of the cell. Most of their time spent in there consisted of the two ignoring each other and starving from what little their captors gave them. "Staring at that thing isn't going to make your dead boyfriend come save you any faster."
"Fiance," Adam corrected him. "And he's not dead."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Hunter said. He turned onto his side and faced the wall now. Meaning he was going to try and sleep just as the lights all went out.
Adam couldn't see a thing, so he began to twist the ring on his finger, just feeling the metal. Thinking of Takashi. He shouldn't think that his love would come to rescue him, but a part of it couldn't help it. After Sam had told them all what had been happening out in space, all he had thought about was Takashi coming back to him.
When he first heard it, a part of him had been so angry. Takashi was out there, putting his life into more danger than he ever had before. That was also the part that had him worried. Once again Takashi could die at any minute and Adam wouldn't be there for him again. The only other part of him was hope. Hope that Takashi would make it home to him. That he'd still want to be with him after all this time. That he'd forgive him for everything that had happened.
There was so much left unsaid. So much that he shouldn't have said. There was so much that he missed with Takashi. He just wanted him back. Just to see his face. Just to know that it's all real. That he's actually alive.
These aren't the things he should be thinking of right now. He should be thinking about tomorrow, about the possibility of an escape. He lied down knowing it would take him awhile to fall asleep, even in the complete dark. Eventually exhaustion over took him, and he fell asleep.
Thinking of Takashi.
A/N: The vague design of the rings was given to me by a friend. They had an idea for if they and their partner ever got engaged they would exchange engagement rings that would have each other's birthstone's. Hella gay, hella cute, they said they want everyone to do it so I encourage you to do that.
I chose Adam's birthstone based on compatible astrology signs and then whichever stone I liked the best.
