I do not own Twilight, though I do mess with the characters!
There's a lengthy author's note in the bottom, do not fear!
Let's begin:

Surviving Being Single.

BPOV:

Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. Valentines Day. Every freaking holiday or event there is, yours truly shows up alone, apologetic, embarrassed, you name it. Okay, so I'm not a boyfriend person, I'm barely a people person, and my friends do not help my case since ever since they had met their "meaningful half" all it's been around Bellatown is "Date Night Fridays" and "Dinner Parties". Puke puke gag. Maybe it's because I'm a photographer for National Geographic and I travel the world, never really having time to settle down, but I can't lie, not even in Spain did I try to score myself a muchacho, however… I remain optimistic.

Hello, my name is Bella Swan, and I'm single.

"Bella, please? Puh-lease?" begged my best friend Alice Brandon (soon to be Whitlock, it's been pushed in my face, and shoved down my throat so I couldn't forget) She had been trying to talk me into going to a blind date to her, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper's Friday out. Usually, I do mind a bit being set up by people because I might as well stamp a "Single and Desperately Looking" across my forehead, but being set up by Alice was like being set up by an elf on eggnog crack. Dates set up by her would crash and burn, because, well, let's just say we have completely different tastes. She likes her men tall blonde, and mysterious, and Jasper's great and everything, we met in senior year, but his friends are just plain weird! Emmett being a great example.

I groaned and looked away from the 4'11 friend, who was making a scene in the middle of a Coffee Bean like a small six year old who wants the next Justin Beiber CD. The cash register guy gave me a bewildered look, as she started to jump up and down, yanking my arm to the side, almost dislocating it. I had a lot of experience with my best friend from sixth grade, and I knew that if I ignored her, she's eventually stop. I glanced at the menu and then at the guy, smiling.

"May I take your order?" he asked, hesitant, eyes flickering to the jumping pixie.

"I'd like a large coffee, straight black, with just a shot of caramel please?" I smiled warmly, hopefully trying to distract him. He gave me a weirded out look and murmered something, giving me my change.

"Thanks!" I chirped cheerily, and I felt Alice finally stop.

"Bella! You got the moves but you don't know it!" She whined, sounding like if she was in pain.

I whirled around, placing my hands on my waist, finally pissed.

"Okay, Mary Alice Brandon! I do not care for a boyfriend, I do not care for a man, I do not want to go on Date Night Fridays with two couples, I do not want to talk about wedding colors, and dammit I do not want to work my moves!" I yelled, waving my arms around. She gave me a devilish look, chortling.

"And you do not want green eggs and ham?" she gasped out, choking her giggles.

"Ugh!" I huffed, taking my coffee and almost bumping into this tall bloke coming inside.

"Sorry!" I barked, avoiding splashing him with my precious java, and I stalked out, leaving my friend behind.

You know, I never understood why being in a relationship was so important to people, I mean, I'm not anti-relationship, don't get me wrong, but I don't see why it plays such an important role in some people's lives. My mother, as an example, Renee Dwyer has been with my dad since they had been in highschool, and she thought that because I am twenty five and single that she should be worried about me dying alone. So, since I was a freshman in college she would always mysteriously have young male guests over to introduce, and if I didn't know her any better, I'd think they were just her secret young lovers (cougars, give me a roar!).

I was still quietly grumbling to myself when I headed into the subway towards my loft in Manhattan. I had moved up to New York to study in NYU, majoring in literature because I loved reading, but then I discovered my love for photography and voila! So I jump started my career as a photographer. My best friend Alice also attented NYU, but majored in Design, and her boyfriend since Sophomore year in high school attended Columbia to major in Law, 'cause he had this freaky deaky ability to be able to manipulate emotions, either that or he was insanely charismatic. There, we met Rosalie Hale, in our Philosophy class in freshman year in NYU, this crazy beautiful blonde, then she met our friend Emmett one time he went up to New York and bing bada boom you have your winsome foursome couple, plus me.

I got out of the subway, and my phone started to vibrate like crazy, right before Alice's ringtone warbled out of my back pocket:

"You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream, the way you turn me on"

Shit. I sighed and walked faster, suppressing the urge to fling my phone into the nearest running taxi. You see, I was never really great with guys, I mean, Alice and Rose have the whole natural beauty thing going on, I mean, Alice is small, very petite, with high cheekbones, full lips, perfect complexion, dainty nose, and a smile that can blind the fainthearted. She had stormy blue eyes, almost navy blue, and her hair was long and shiny, reaching her waist, but she recently got a pixie cut to donate her long lustrous jet black hair.

Rosalie Lillian Hale, now she was soething. She was tall and willowy, with golden arched eyebrows, dark feathery eyelashes that framed a set of astonishing violet eyes. She has a perfect elfin nose, and full pouty lips that covered an angelic smile (one which she credits 3 years of braces), and thick hair the color of honey that waved to her shapely waist, with legs that went for miles that were always fitted with stillettos because with Emmett she can get away with it because he's 6'4, and she's 5'9.

Jasper was tall and leonine, with looks that could rival a model's. I never understood why he didn't just persue a career as a model and just retire early, but he always chuckled and ruffled my hair, an annoying habit he picked up from Emmett. Emmett was hulking, I mean, he had massive muscles and his impressive stature would intimidate most, but underneath that muscle he was a softy, with shaggy curly hair and twinkling hazel eyes hinted hues of Jasper's blue-olive eyes. Now, that sounds like a bunch of models at Abercrombie and Fitch, but then enter Bella:

Me, I'm average, average height, average weight, average looks, average personality. Just plain average. Brown hair, brown eyes, and 5'4. I hit the jackpot in the looks department.

I sighed and scanned the street, narrowly missing the light and getting smashed by the Hostess truck. Usually I don't mind all this, I don't mean to sound bitter, but it' just that lately it seems like everyone is getting on my case at the same time, and okay, I can deal with two people, but all my loved ones? I'm just about to pop. The swirling doors usher me inside my complex, and Jacob, as always, is seated at the reception desk. I smile at him, instantly feeling more relaxed.

"Hey Bells! Fancy seeing you here. Alone. At this time of night" he says slyly, winking and giving me his charming mega-watt smile. I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah Jake, because that's such an unusual thing for me to do, come home alone on a Friday night" I chuckled, arching my eyebrow.

"Hey, now I believe I offered my charming presence at some point to accompany you, but you shot that possibility down" he taunted, shrugging nonchalantly.

I internally cringed, he was right. One night he had offered to hang out at my place after his shift was over, but I declined, sensing his motives were more than friendly. Don't get me wrong, Jake has got it going on, what with his tall, dark, and handsome looks, but this is Bella we're talking about. Guys in the house at midnight is a big no-no, especially when there's alcohol involved.

"Hey, I was feeling pretty sleepy already, bud. Plus, who said I needed company?" I countered.

"Touche, touche, mademoiselle. Now go, go, before you wound my ego even more with your sympathetic rejections" he grinned, waving me away. Damn, I had not fooled him.

"Au revoir, monsieur!" I trilled, grabbing at my keys to open my door. My door opened and I sighed. Home alone, again.

EPOV:

"Mr. Cullen, you missed three calls, you have a meeting in an hour, and you have a Miss Lauren on the line" drilled my secretary Gabrielle.

"Alright Gabbs, thank you, and as for Miss Lauren, tell her I went on a vacation to Fiji and won't be back for a while." I replied pleasantly, shuddering. She giggled.

"Affirmative, boss." She snorted into the phone, I could almost see her shaking her head while she passed on my message to Lauren. That, my friends, is a reason why you should never get drunk while you're alone at a bar, you tend to do stupid shit that will come back to bite you in the ass. Better yet, don't go to a bar when you're in a shit mood that will guarantee you getting drunk. I had gone to Vampe, this well-known club in the heart of New York City, and I got squiffed off my ass because one, I felt like shit, and two, because I had lost a very important case to my rival firm, Volturi, Volturi, & Brown. In a nutshell, I ended up taking this girl home, but we ended up falling asleep and not doing anything. However, she felt like that drunken promises entitled her to "special privileges", if you know what I mean, and since then she hasn't hopped off the motherfucken sack.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, sighing.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie, them otha brothas can't deny whe-"

For the love of all that's holy. I dove to my phone, cringing at the monstrous ringtone rigged by my moronic cousin Emmett. Lately he'd been bugging me to date his other friend, this girl either named Bella or Bertha. Not only did I feel bad for myself because he's been trying to "get me some" for ages, but I feel bad for this Bertha, Bella, whatever because she must be in the same position as I.

"What, Emmelie, this better be good or else so help me God I will make sure that Rosalie never has any of your seed walk around in this blasted world." I muttered through clenched teeth.

"Edwin! My man, I have a proposition for you-" I cut him off impatiently.

"No Emmie, I won't go on a date with that chick, screw you!" I snarled, hanging up and all but flinging my poor phone across the room.

I was sick, sick of people trying to get me with someone, of making me feel like a complete waste of shit for not being able to get a decent girl. I was sick of slaving away at my job, of running from being a social creature, of being socially retarded. I was sick of being Edward friggen Cullen.

I quickly grabbed my coat and strode out of my office all but yelling at poor Gabrielle, my assistant:

"Cancel my appointments, cancel my meetings, I'm done for today."

And with that I shrugged into my coat and stalked out of my office, leaving a gaping Gabby behind.

*Peeks out of hands*
Okay okay I know I screwed up with the other story, but I lost my inspiration for it for the moment, but never fear! I will start on it again, seeing as I got mega music giftcard so once I have my playlists down, I'll start a-writin'.
I suppose I haven't really felt like writing, I mean, I felt like if what wa inspiring kind of disappeared and left me gaping at my computer like an imbecile for almost a year. However, it has come back and it's beggin' for me to write. Enjoy 'cause it's all for you guys out there :D

Leave a comment, it won't hurt, heehee.

Tata lovelies!

-Mariaaa. (;