Living

Chapter 1

Tyler got kicked out of his class finally. The teacher said he either left her class or she left. So I guess that's good. I haven't even been able to build up the strength to yell at him. It's like everything's been muted, like everything's dead. It's been awhile but how do you measure death?

Okay, not death. We don't know if she's dead or alive. Some days it's better to just pretend that she's dead. Others, thinking of her living gives me hope. Honestly though, I'm not the one that's been effected the worse.

Damien walked into the store, looking deader than any of us. He was growing a beard now but I don't think he's meaning to, he's just not up to shaving. He's finally up to getting out of his apartment though so I'm not complaining.

He came up to the counter a mumbled something. Luther didn't hear him.

"What-"

"My fucking shipment!"

Luther looked at me before going to the back to get it. It was Doraemon that he wanted, to give to Tommy. His original plan was to give them all to Tommy on Christmas but for us, Christmas didn't happen. Well, I say us, but I guess that's wrong. It happened for Alex and her family. We bought the kids stuff but they knew something was wrong. I mean, Tyler guessed that something was wrong by the mood of everything but Tabitha actually knew, that's to Tommy. No, she didn't know that we think Cameron's been taken by a serial killer but yes, she knows that Cameron's gone and most likely dead. I'm sure that if Tyler actually thought about it, he'd come to some sort of conclusion but let's be honest. He doesn't give a crap about anyone.

"Here you go," Luther said, setting a box down. Seeing as he didn't order them before Cameron…disappeared, he was now giving them to Tommy a few at a time. I think giving them to Tommy is Damien holding onto Cameron in one of the only ways he can.

Damien paid and left. I laid my head down on the counter.

"Head up. If he can do it, you can do it."

Rolling my eyes heavily, I slowly lifted my head. "What time do I get off?"

"You still got another hour."

I yawned. "How long do you have?"

"I'm working all day."

Great…


May 11th…five months and two days. That's how long it has been.

"Peter," Damien whispered. "Pete?"

The cat meowed at him, coming out of the shadows. Damien walked into his room, closing the door after the cat followed him in.

"Five months and two days," Damien mumbled, picking Peter up and setting him on the bed. This was his apartment. It was a good thing he hadn't moved out yet. He couldn't stay in that house. How could he stay in that house? It was impossible. Damien started heaving, feeling like he had to puke. That's what thinking about it did to him. He crawled into bed, not caring if he had to puke or not. Who knew what Cameron was going through? A little puke was nothing.

Of course, Damien knew she was alive. She had to be. Didn't she? Yes, she did. His Cameron was still out there. She was waiting for her Superman to come find her. And if he knew where she was, he would.

When it first happened and the police said it was…that killer, they all knew that in the next week, her body would show up. It was inevitable. Then it didn't. It just didn't show. It didn't make any sense. Not to a single person. No one could explain it. Then the killings stopped. It was almost as if the killer had found his one, the one that he wanted. That sick freak had stolen Damien's Cameron as his own and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Life sucks.

That was when Damien realized he had been talking to himself again and also, someone was in his room with him.

"Are you sick again?"

He felt his mother's cool hands on his forehead. He didn't say anything to her. She came into his apartment unannounced all the time now. It began right after Cameron was taken. Damien stayed in his apartment for days, all alone with not even Peter for company. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep.

Then his mom found him and made him eat, made him shower, made him change his clothes. In fact, for the first two months after Cameron was gone, the only people to see him were his sister and mother. One or the other would come and take care of him for the day. It wasn't until March that he left his apartment. Peter had run out of food and neither his mother nor sister was there to get more. The sunlight burned but he survived.

It was then that he remembered Tommy. Tommy…he knew that the kid hadn't been found of him until right before Cameron was gone but Damien suddenly felt bad. The kid was basically his nephew and he just hung him out to dry. So, he started buying the Doraemon for the kid. He couldn't face him. Oh, no, not that. What would he say to him? So he sent them to him through the mail. From Max, he got the address of where his mother was staying. He wasn't sure if Trent was there or not but he didn't care.

His mother went out of the room and returned with soup. "Here, eat."

Damien turned away from her, still not speaking.

"Damien, you will eat this. Now."

True, Damien was now skeptical on the whole God thing, he still didn't believe in disrespecting your mother. He loved his mother. Sitting up, he took the bowl and spoon from her. Trinity looked him over for a moment before leaving.

Damien ate but he didn't taste it. Though, when he thought about it, dying wasn't going to help Cameron any. What would she do if she found out that he had died of starvation? Give up living too? He wasn't taking the chance.

Peter meowed, curling into a bowl on Cameron's pillow. Okay, so one of his pillows, but it was the one that she used when she stayed over so hers. He shook his head. The kitty missed his mommy and it showed. Damien missed her too.


"Hi, Mommy."

I gave Lucas a kiss. "Hi. Were you good today?"

He giggled. "Yes!"

"Good," I said, closing the front door. "Where's Daddy?"

"Dere," he said, pointing to the kitchen. Setting him back down on the ground, I went into the kitchen to go talk to Fang.

"Hey," I said, going over to him. He kissed me before going back to stirring. "What are you making?"

"Spaghetti."

Great… "Damien came into the store today."

"Was he okay?"

"No but that's no different than all the other days he comes in," I said, shrugging. It was Tuesday night so Alex wasn't over which meant Tyler was off playing by himself, probably doing something bad. I set out to find out what.

"You know you're not supposed to be in here with out your father."

Tyler looked at me from the couch in the attic. "I forgot."

"Try again."

"Um…I got lost."

"Come here," I said. Tyler walked over to me and I gave him a hug. "I won't say anything if you don't."

He smiled, following me back to the living room. Lucas was playing with his stuffed animals.

"Pay?" He asked his older brother.

Tyler pretended to think about it before getting down on the ground with him.

"Me-me!" Cody called for me from his playpen. I went and got the eleven month old out of his prison, holding him close to me.

"Hi, baby," I said, kissing his head. "How are you? Huh?"

He yawned, laying his head on my shoulder. I put him back down so that he could go to sleep before going to find Tabitha. She was in her room.

"Hi, baby."

She was one hundred percent focused on something. I walked further into the room, looking at it.

"What are you doing, Tabby?"

"Drawing."

"For who?"

"Luther."

"Oh," I said, looking around her room. "How was school today?"

She shrugged. "Tommy didn't want to play at recess. He just wanted to read that stupid robot book thingy."

I sighed. "Baby, Tommy's going through a lot right now."

"So? I'm still his girlfriend and he still didn't play with me."

I gave her a kiss on the head before walking out of the room. Tyler and Lucas were still playing on the floor. After checking on Cody once more, I went into my room to nap. I was sleeping when I felt something in bed with me. It was Snickers.

"Hi, kitty."

She curled against my side. I went back to sleep until Fang came and got me.

"Time to eat," he whispered, kissing my head.

Yawning, I got out of bed, following him to the kitchen. The kids were already eating.

"Lucas, don't you get messy," I warned though I knew he would. His bath was after dinner so it didn't matter that much.

He giggled, grabbing some of the spaghetti with his hand. Fang grabbed his hand and made him set the food back down.

"We eat with forks, Lucas," Fang said, helping the baby eat. Lucas, always one for attention, was grateful for the help. I sat down next to Tyler.

"I'm a big boy, Max. I don't need Dad's help."

"I know you don't," I said, looking at Cody. He was in his highchair, playing with his spaghetti like Lucas wanted to. Great, now he needs to be scrubbed too. After dinner, I made Fang give Lucas and Cody baths. What? You didn't think I would be the one to do that, did you? Please.


Sometimes, he drives past her house just to see, just to know it's still there. Her brothers took care of it as far as he knew. They were making sure that it was paid for and stuff. Damien wasn't sure how they were ever going to live there again when she got back.

At the moment, he was headed to work. At first, he quit his job but then he realized the only way to do that and still make it was to move in with his parents. There was no way that he was going near his father. He was luck that Fire Tats took him back so willingly but it didn't mean that he liked being at work. It just gave him something to do.

"Tired?" Joann asked him as he sat down. It was about eight now and they closed at three in the morning. So, he was stuck here for another seven hours. He didn't say anything to her. She just sighed, letting them fall into silence.


"You're supposed to be asleep," I told Lucas. He looked up at me.

"No. I wanna play."

I looked at the clock. Past midnight. "Too bad."

After putting him back in bed, I checked on Cody. He was sleeping, like always. I gave Lucas one more kiss before going to get back in bed. Fang was waiting.

"What was he doing?"

"Playing."

Fang lifted up the covers for me before pulling me closer to him. "Less than a month and the kids are off for the summer."

"Joy."

He nuzzled my neck, opening his wings a little so that they wrapped around me. "Comfy?"

"Very."

Fang ran a hand down my stomach. "You are way too skinny again."

"No. I'm fat."

Fang pinched me.

"Ow, you jackass!"

"Max, it hurt so much because there's barely any skin there to pinch."

"Shut up and go to sleep," I said, closing my eyes.


"Hey, Max," Nudge said as I answered the phone.

"Nudge, it's seven in the morning."

"I know. I just figured you were already up, getting the kids ready and stuff."

"Fang does that. Not me."

"…Anyways, how is everything?"

"What do you mean?"

"How's Damien?"

"He wants to die. What do you want me to say?"

Lucas, who had been put into bed with me at some point, poked me. "Nug? Me wan' 'alk!"

I rolled my eyes. "Lucas wants to say hi."

"Okay."

I put the phone up to his ear. He made a noise before moving away from it, giggling.

"What did you say?" I asked Nudge, taking the phone back.

"Nothing. Just hi."

Lucas had now calmed down and was watching TV. Fang had bought me a TV for our bedroom for Christmas. He says it is for me but he and Lucas watch it more. Right now Blue's Clues was on and Lucas was very interested in finding all of the paw prints.

"So what did you want?" I asked Nudge.

"Nothing, really. Just to talk."

"How's Amber?" I asked. Nudge had moved to California with Drake. He was now playing dad to Amber. Not step dad, just dad. "Her birthday's coming up."

"Yeah, I know. She has to be the best baby in the world."

I cleared my throat.

"I mean, best girl baby. Because Cody defiantly has best boy."

"Thank you."

Nudge laughed a little. "So how's Tabitha?"

"Fine, why?"

"It's just the last time I talked to her, she was upset."

"That's because Tommy's been upset."

"That's understandable. Him being upset, I mean."

"Well yeah. Let's be honest. Cameron raised him while his parents went all over the world, neglecting him."

Lucas jumped up and down. "Dere! Dere a c'ue!"

"Do you think…that she's dead?"

"I don't know, Nudge. I really don't. I hope not."

"Ya!" Lucas clapped his hands. "'Ind c'ue, Mommy."

"That's good, baby," I told him, only half listening. Me and Nudge talked for a few more minutes before she hung up. I was cuddling with Luke when Fang came in, Cody in his arms.

"Hey," he whispered, lying down on the bed and setting Cody next to Lucas.

"Hey," I said, leaning over the two brothers to kiss him. "You take the kids to school?"

"Yep."

"Good," I said, laying back down, this time facing Fang. Lucas patted Cody's stomach, giggling as the baby made a noise of annoyance.

"Stop it," Fang said, pushing Lucas gently. "That's a no-no."

Lucas frowned but just cuddled against me for protection. "Mommy."

"Don't yell at him, Fang," I said, kissing my baby's head.

"I wasn't."

I rolled my eyes, running a hand down Lucas's back. "Whatever."

Fang was silent for a minute before speaking. "I've been thinking."

"Call the army."

"Shut up, I'm being serious."

Knowing that I would regret it, I asked, "Thinking about what?"

"You're on the pill."

"Gee, really?"

"And, Cody's almost a year old."

"You're so smart," I teased.

"Shut up, alright?"

"Fine, keep going."

"Let's try for another."

"Another what?"

"Baby."

"Ew. No."

"Max-"

"No, Fang," I told him, burying my head in Lucas's head. He thought that I was hugging him so he giggled.

"Why not?"

"For one, now is not a good time to have a baby."

"…Why?"

"Cameron is-"

"Not our problem. Max, I get it. You two had gotten close, whatever," Fang said. "And I mean, I feel horrible about how this has all played out but I'm not going to put our life on hold anymore. If she ever comes back, great. I'll be the first to hug her if you want. But if she doesn't…we have to move on at some point. Life goes on."

"No, Fang."

"Yes."

I looked up at him. "Why do you always want me pregnant? Do pregnant women turn you on or something?"

"No. But I just like having kids."

"Isn't Cody enough for you?"

"Cody, Lucas, Tabitha, and Tyler are all enough. But I still want another."

"Why?"

"I don't know. We have the room."

"But not the money."

"Says who?"

I looked at him in shock. "Fang, we can't even have all our kids in the same car because it's too small."

"So if I buy another car, we can have another baby?"

"No!"

He huffed. "I want another one, Max. Why don't you?"

"Because I have had enough kids in a lifetime, thank you."

"You've had two-"

"Three you fuck ass."

He looked up. "I forgot to add Cody-"

"Liar. You forgot Kevin."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did. You always do."

"Max, I will never forget him."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Fang."

"I won't!"

Lucas touched Cody's stomach, making him make a noise again.

"Lucas, would you fucking stop?" Fang yelled.

"Ah!" Lucas began to cry. "Mommy!"

I glared at Fang. "Say sorry. You do not curse at our kids."

Fang sighed, reaching over Cody to take Lucas. After kissing the toddler's cheek, he said, "I'm sorry."

Lucas giggled, already done. Such a freaking drama queen.


We were at the store when it happened. Fang was restocking and me and Bone were at the counter. Lucas was playing with his toys when he tripped in fell.

"Are you okay, baby?" I asked him.

"Fuck," he said, standing up. My eyes shot open.

"What did he just say?" Fang got up, coming over to us. "Lucas-"

"Fuck," he said again, shaking his head. "Fuck."

"See what you did?" Fang turned to look at Bone. "I let you around him for-"

"Fang, he didn't learn that from Bone," I said. "That's your favorite word."

"What? I never-"

"Fuck, Daddy," Lucas said, looking up at him. "Fall. Fuck."

Fang picked him up. "We do not say that word."

Lucas frowned. "Fuck!"

"No!"

He was upset that Fang screamed at him. "Mommy!"

I got up and took him from Fang. "See? You can't even be nice to the kids we have now. No way am I having another."

"Want more?" Bone asked as he took Lucas from me.

"Fang does."

"Good. Girl."

"Tabitha is enough girl for the whole house."

Bone shook his head. "Have a girl."

"Bone, it's not like I choose."

"Keep having them until you get one."

"I second that," Fang said, going to get Cody out of his carrier to change his diaper.

"Well I don't."

"You're out voted," Bone told me.

"Let's just see how my mother votes, 'kay Fang?"

He frowned at me before taking Cody into the back.


"Well I don't know why Mrs. Baylor didn't want you," Mr. Harry told Tyler as he sat next to the boy, coloring with him. "You're very well behaved to me."

Tyler smiled broadly. He liked Mr. Harry. And not just because Alex was in the class…well maybe that helped a little…or a lot. Tabitha, who was on the other side of the room, was glaring over at her brother. He had been in the class for a week now and she hated him. With a passion.

Alex giggled. "Tyler's always behaved."

"Yeah," Tyler said, continuing to color. "I'm very well behaved."

Alex giggled again. "Yeah."

"Are you two fibbing to me?"

"No," Alex said, still giggling.

"Alex, get to work," Tyler said. "You have to keep making the posters for my band."

Max was out of the band and Tyler never saw Damien anymore but Bone was still on and he let Lucas sing. They had a pretty good thing going. Bone said that they needed a bassist and Tyler was already training Cody. Sure, he didn't know what a bassist did or why they needed one but he would whisper the word bass in Cody's ear every day.

How else do you make good bassists?