DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight
ABSOLUTELY NOT
THIS IS WHAT NOT TO DO TO ANY TWILIGHT CHARACTER EVER
I will not call Jacob a nice doggie
I will not play the Darth Vader theme song when the volturi come in the room
I will not tell any vampire that their cousins are mosquitoes
I will not say "Edward read my mind ! " then think pizza … ponies...bunnies
I WILL NOT ask the quiliets to turn into unicorns
