DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight

ABSOLUTELY NOT

THIS IS WHAT NOT TO DO TO ANY TWILIGHT CHARACTER EVER

I will not call Jacob a nice doggie

I will not play the Darth Vader theme song when the volturi come in the room

I will not tell any vampire that their cousins are mosquitoes

I will not say "Edward read my mind ! " then think pizza … ponies...bunnies

I WILL NOT ask the quiliets to turn into unicorns