A/N: Dedicated to my lovely girl, Shannon. Without her I wouldn't have anyone to fangirl with.

Fumino stared at the email sitting in her inbox, a lump of ice settling in her heart. She had read it a dozen times now, each time searching for some kind of hidden meaning that refused to show itself. It wasn't more than two lines, just a small note to apologize for yet another night where she wouldn't be able to talk to her husband. She could barely believe it had been five days since she had last heard his voice, seen his face, heard about his day. Up until last month he hadn't missed a single chance to talk with her. What had changed?

She quickly shut down her laptop, frustrated by the tears that pricked her eyes. She didn't think she would be able to come up with a suitable explanation if Teppei saw her crying again. He would demand that she have faith in 'Ma-kun' and remind her that they would all be together as a family soon… he had promised. The problem was that without Sensei at her side, without their nightly talks to reaffirm their closeness, she felt like she was losing him.

This long distance thing was hard.

Her fingertips brushed across the surface of her laptop, wishing for all the world that it was Sensei she was touching instead. This machine and her wedding ring were the only links she had to him while he was away, and even though she was just as sure of her feelings for him now as she had been on the day she had first confessed to him, it was more painful being apart than she had expected. At least during their previous separations she had been able to see him in class every day. He had been within reach. Now… she hadn't even heard his voice in days.

She missed him so much she could barely concentrate in her classes. Just this morning she had missed half the lecture because she had been refreshing her email inbox over and over, desperate for a confirmation of when her husband would be available to video chat with her. When the email had finally come in earlier this evening, she had almost cried in relief that he had finally remembered her. Of course, that relief had been short lived, hadn't it? The email had basically boiled down to him explaining his continued absence as end of semester grading and a hope that she was keeping up her own grades in University. No words of love or anything that might soothe her aching heart. It was like he had become her teacher again and was trying to keep a distance between them. As though he no longer wanted her the same way he once had.

Tears leaked from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks as she rested her head on her desk. When Sensei had told her two weeks ago that he was unable to come home to spend Christmas and New Years with her and Teppei, she had been disappointed, but had understood the situation. As a teacher, he didn't have a lot of free time between semesters and he needed to stay on top of the lessons for his students. Flying back and forth between his students and his family ate up a lot of time that he needed for preparations. It's why he had only been able to come home for a week during the summer holiday earlier that year. With the winter holiday being so much shorter… yeah, she got it.

It didn't mean that it wasn't a blow to her system. But even with all that, she was fine. Getting to talk to him every night was enough to keep her going, enough to see her through the difficulties of being separated. But this… this sudden distance. She had no idea how to handle that at all. They may finally be legally married, but she was still only 18. She didn't know how to deal with the icy chill that had settled into her heart when he had started excusing himself from their nightly video chats.

Fear and anxiety lodged in her chest, making it hard to breathe. What if this was about something more than just being busy with his work? Could he be avoiding her for some reason? She thought hard about why this could be happening, and she didn't like where her thoughts took her. Things had seemed good until recently, when she had asked him about his plans for the upcoming winter break. Could it be possible that he didn't want to come home and see her? It seemed ridiculous to jump to that conclusion, but hadn't all this started after he let her know he couldn't make it home? If he really was disappointed about not being able to make it as he had said, why the sudden silence between them? Honestly… the more she thought about the more certain she was that he was avoiding her.

As she bathed Teppei, got him into pajamas and then into bed, she thought over all the possible reasons why Sensei seemed to be pulling away. There was the obvious of course, that he was telling the truth and he was actually very busy with midterms. But she couldn't fully accept that answer. Until now he hadn't missed a single night, even during midterms and finals for the previous semester. What could be different now? She could only come up with two answers for that question, and both made it hard to breathe. Either he was balking at coming home for some reason to do with her (the lack of contact made her sure thatshe was the issue) or… he had met someone else.

She lay next to her brother on the futon, arms cradling him against her chest as she fought back the panic that was threatening to overtake her. Thinking through the first possibility was hard, but more acceptable in the long run, so she focused on what she could have done to turn him away. Since their separation on their wedding night, Fumino had done everything in her power to be the best wife she could. She took care of Teppei, kept their home clean and happy, continued learning to cook, excelled in her studies, and wrote him an email every morning before class. She had taken everything he had taught her in the two years they lived together and put it into practice, forcing herself to be her best for him. At night, she listened to how things were going with him and his students, and she never hesitated to express her affection for him before they said their goodbyes. Was she too enthusiastic in her role as a wife? Did she smother him with her love and the desperate way she missed him?

Or was it the opposite? Had she not been enough for him when he had come home during the summer?

Heat flashed in her cheeks as she thought of the week she had spent as a new bride during his summer break. The truth of the matter was that before that week, she had only ever kissed Sensei a handful of times, and he had been the only man she had ever kissed. Had her innocence been disappointing to him? Had he found what they shared to be wanting in some way? She honestly couldn't know for sure. To her, it had been a week of breathless intensity, of lazy mornings and steamy nights. Their time together still made her flush when she thought about it… but what had it meant to him? Maybe he didn't want to come back and deal with her inexperience again.

And what if her other worry was the real issue? Could her husband have found someone else on that faraway island? Was it possible that another teacher, or even another student, had stolen his heart away? If he had been as lonely as she was, she could understand how it might happen. Sensei was a very handsome man, and if he had been empty without her… could another woman have taken her place in his arms? Just the thought had her stomach clenching with unimaginable pain.

No… no, he couldn't do that. Could he?

But somewhere deep within her, she worried that he maybe he could. Hadn't he fallen in love with her, after all? She had been a student, it had been forbidden, and it hadn't stopped him from showering her with kisses, both at school and in the privacy of their home. If he had broken the rules for her, what was to say that he wouldn't break them for someone else? What was stopping him from casting aside his wedding vows, slipping off his ring, and whispering the words he had said to her... to someone else?

Christmas was in three days. Would he be holding someone else in his arms on that special day?

Jealousy, worry, agony, they all clawed at her stomach as she released Teppei and reached for her phone. She didn't call her husband often, and she knew it was late, but she needed to hear his voice in order to get rid of her fears. Fingers trembling, she chose his number and then brought the phone to her ear, listening as it rang and rang and rang.

No answer.

She supposed, in a way, that was an answer, wasn't it?