Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. I do not own that story or Naruto. I have made this solely for fun and not for profit.
Author's note: I have written this whole story already. It is nine chapters long. I wanted to see what it was like to put it up slowly instead of all at once. I will be adding a chapter at least once a week.
Warnings: There are no intended pairings. Mild swearing, underage drinking, cross dressing, and reference to perverted thoughts.
Enjoy!
Naruto smiled as he looked around. All of his friends had gathered for an impromptu party to celebrate his return home after traveling with Jiraiya for over two years. They were in a clearing in the forest that had been set up with picnic tables full of food. Some of the people were at the tables while others were sitting on blankets. Of course Sasuke wasn't there; Naruto's smile went away as he wondered how his former best friend had changed over the years. Soon he would see him again when he saved Sasuke from Orochimaru's grasp. Naruto shook himself to dispel these thoughts and redirected them towards the other missing person, Gaara. He was the leader of the Sand and wouldn't be able to leave for a three day trip one way just to say hello to Naruto. Naruto hoped he was doing well.
He looked over the people who were present. Team Gai was sitting together on a blanket listening to something from Iruka. Suddenly Gai shouted "I will do five hundred laps around Konoha," to which Neji abruptly hit him. Naruto chuckled at the sight. Gai might not have changed but Neji seemed more outgoing than he once was. Neji was already a jonin, equal to Gai, but Naruto was still stuck as a genin.
He turned his attention to the next group. Shino and Kiba were talking at one of the tables. Akamaru was right next to Kiba and Naruto was still amazed at how big the dog had grown. Their third teammate, Hinata, was not nearby and he wondered were she went.
Choji was sitting at the other table eating as usual. Sakura and Ino seemed to be having a civil conversation and Naruto felt glad they had patched up their friendship. However, no sooner than he thought this when they started yelling names at each other and throwing paper plates like they were shuriken. Shikamaru was lying nearby them propped up against a tree and watching the clouds. At the commotion he rolled his eyes. Naruto could make out the "troublesome women" Shikamaru muttered.
Jiraiya came up to Naruto. "I believe you are a very good ninja. You could very well become the greatest ninja Konoha has ever seen. Besides that though I was wondering if you would be interested in taking over the Icha Icha series when I decide to retire."
"Jiraiya I'm not even old enough to buy that series, don't talk to me about writing it."
"You're no fun," Jiraiya replied and walked off. He weaved through the groups of people to were Tsunade sat on a blanket with Shizune on the other side of the clearing from Naruto. There were a few ANBU bodyguards around her even though everyone here was a ninja. Naruto assumed they were there as a standard precautionary measure. He laughed to himself as he imaged the ANBU protecting everyone from Tsunade when she got too drunk. Her fists were damn scary. Plus she had taught Sakura to have that power. Double scary. Tsunade pulled out a deck of cards as Jiraiya sat down and poured himself some sake.
Naruto's thoughts shifted to what Jiraiya said to him, or at least the first part. He didn't feel that he had gotten any better. Not only did he need to save Sasuke from Orochimaru but the Akatsuki could attack him at any moment. Doubts had plagued him ever since Jiraiya turned their path back to Konoha. Was he really strong enough to defeat everyone he needs to? Would he ever be acknowledged in Konoha as more than the demon container? Could they ever put that aside and let him become Hokage? Will he get to Sasuke in time to rescue him? Had he trained enough? Should he be training now instead of hanging out?
Naruto broke out of his reverie when he felt someone staring at him and looked toward the trees. He saw a movement but not who was behind it. Before he could dwell on the presence his eyes focused on Kakashi. Kakashi was sitting against a tree reading the Icha Icha book Naruto had convinced Jiraiya to give him. A slightly evil grin stole across Naruto's face.
"Hey Konohamaru," he called to the boy sitting nearby at a table looking a little bored without his two friends. Konohamaru came over eagerly. "I never got to show you my new sexy jutsu earlier. I thought Kakashi might appreciate the show as well," Naruto said indicating to the porn reading man.
Konohamaru's eyes got wide with excitement. "Yeah, show us."
They made their way towards Kakashi and Naruto called his name in a sexy voice. Kakashi looked up to see a large breasted, short haired blond woman in thigh high boots, leather thong, and holding a short whip. Kakashi's visible eye seemed to bulge at the sight before him. An eep was heard nearby as a fainting Hinata fell from behind a tree.
"That's very nice Naruto," Kakashi said. "But you know the best seductress is not necessarily a naked one. I think the sexiest women are the ones who have the girl-next-door look. You know they have a perfect body underneath all of those clothes and the desire to tear them off so you can see it will drive you mad."
Naruto considered this for a moment. "How about this?" He transformed into a girl that resembled the one from the very first sexy jutsu with long blond pigtails. Instead of being naked she wore a blue dress that hung around mid calf with a white apron over it and cute white shoes and socks.
"Yes, that's good. The innocent look that hides the sex demon underneath."
Hinata had woken up only to faint again so Konohamaru went to check on her. Unfortunately none of them noticed a very angry Sakura storming up behind the group.
"NARUTO," she screamed and slammed a fist into his head. Naruto blacked out while he was still saying ouch.
Naruto woke up and looked around. He noticed three things. First, he was still in the clearing. Second, he was the only one in the clearing. All the party goers as well as supplies were gone. No more tables full of food, no more laughing friends. Naruto angrily wondered why everyone left when he was injured. The third thing was definitely the worst one though.
"EH? Why am I still a girl?!" Naruto yelled when he realized he was still in the girl-next-door form. He tried releasing the jutsu but nothing happened. He still had long, blond pigtails, a blue dress, white apron, and other parts that didn't belong to him. "What the hell is going on?" he groaned.
Naruto heard a noise and looked up to see a figure rush out of the forest into the clearing. He watched it curiously as the figure bounded towards the other side of the clearing. The figure had Jiraiya's face, and Jiraiya did have long, thick, white hair, but on this figure the hair surrounded the whole body instead of being tied back in a pony tail. The figure was also surprisingly short, probably reaching Naruto's waist. Naruto had seen a jutsu where Jiraiya used his hair to shield his body, so if it wasn't for this figure's height he would have not doubted it to be Jiraiya. Naruto saw a human arm slip through all that hair as the person examined a watch.
"Oh God, I'm late! Tsunade is going to kill me, why did I stop to peek at that hot spring." Yeah, that was definitely Jiraiya.
As Jiraiya disappeared back into the forest Naruto called himself and idiot and got up to chase after him. "Jiraiya wait! Where is everyone? Why am I stuck in this form? Bring me to Tsunade so she can fix this!" He yelled as he entered the forest, hoping it would reach his teacher's ears.
Not watching where he was going, Naruto tripped on a tree root and fell. He fell right into a hole that was on the other side of the root. He tumbled down and down the hole and it got darker and darker. 'Stupid, what kind of ninja falls into a hole like that?' Naruto thought to himself. 'How deep is this hole? I wonder were it leads to and what made it? It's too steep to climb back out, I hope I can figure out how to get back once this stops.' Naruto kept going down and down in the pitch blackness.
