Daniel Howell and Philip Lester had been best friends for most of their lives. Dan was just a baby whenever he met two year old Phil. At the time, neither of them knew how big of an impact they would have on each others lives.
The age difference never bothered the boys. Not when Phil was six and Dan was four, not when Phil was sixteen and Dan was fourteen, and when Phil was eighteen and Dan was sixteen, it was no different.
"Dannnn." Phil whined from the bottom of his stairs, "C'mon, if you don't hurry, we're going to be late." He warned, leaning against the pillar with a sigh.
Dan rushed down the stairs, tripping on the last step, stumbling into his older best friend's arm, "S-sorry." He said, his face turning a strange shade of pink.
"It's fine, but I asked Courtney if she wanted to go." Phil informed the younger, throwing him a jacket, "I left my car running, so let's go."
Dan caught the jacket, frowning to himself when Phil mentioned Courtney. Phil hadn't been in a relationship since he was fifteen, and Dan preferred him whenever he didn't have a love interest, "Well shut it off." Dan said suddenly, snapping back into reality, grabbing a set of keys.
"Dan, what the hell are you doing?" Phil asked, rolling his eyes, "Do you remember what happened last time?"
Dan turned, his face filled with obvious hurt as he turned, "D-did you forget?" He asked quietly.
"Forget what..?" Phil asked, his gaze shifting to the ground.
"I texted you about it." Dan muttered, shaking his head.
"Oh, shit, Dan I-I'm sorry, I've just been with Court all day, and haven't even bothered to turn my phone on." Phil said, "But we've got to go, so tell me what happened." He opened the door, walking out of it.
"I passed." Dan muttered, setting the keys back on the counter, following Phil out of his house.
"So, what did you want to tell me?" Phil asked, slipping into the driver seat of his car.
Dan shook his head, "Nothing, it's not important." He muttered, and Phil just shrugged.
The rest of the car ride was Phil going on about Courtney, but Dan decided to stop listening. They picked the brunette girl up at her house, and Dan was forced to sit in the back, and listen to the pair go on about how much they loved each other. It was sickening.
Dan's parents had gotten four tickets to see some college play, but something had popped up, so they had gave the tickets to Dan. Dan had decided to take his only friend, who decided his girlfriend could come with them.
None of them ended up knowing what the show was about. The couple had been too busy with each other to pay attention, and Dan was too busy hating his life.
Dan had never been more relieved than when the lights came on. He quickly picked up his jacket, and urged the couple on. When they got outside of the theatre, Dan realized that it had grown cold. It was cold, even for London, and it was summer. Whenever it got cold and they were out and about, Dan and Phil tended to walk close together. People always assumed they were together, but they didn't ever care, they were warm, and that's what mattered to them. But that day was different. Dan was approximately six steps behind the pair, and nobody seemed to care. He bit his lip, trying to not cry as he walked through the cold air.
Phil stopped at his driver's side, cuddling with Courtney, very obviously not wanting to let her go.
Dan groaned and rolled his eyes, grabbing Phil's keys from him, and slipping into the driver's side.
"Dan, um isn't that a bit.. illegal?" Phil asked, going to take the keys from the brunette.
'So, now you talk to me.' Dan thought as he shook his head, "Actually, no. I got my license." He stated, putting the key into the ignition.
"When'd this happen?" Phil questioned, still not believing the younger.
"Earlier today." He shrugged, "I called you like three times, and blew up your phone, but you never answered. And then, earlier you didn't care. But yes, I got my license"
Phil shrugged, making Dan's anger grow, and climbed in the back, dragging the girl with him.
The drive back to Courtney's was hell for Dan. He listened to the two being in love, while driving along, trying not to shout. Then Phil stood outside, making out with her for around twenty minutes before sliding back into the passenger side of his car.
"Hey, I'm gonna stay with you tonight." Phil informed him before falling into a deep happy fantasy.
Dan nodded and then made his way back to his house, keeping quiet the entire time. Once home, he threw Phil's keys back at him before advancing back into his house. Dan went up to his bedroom and practically collapsed onto his bed.
"Isn't Courtney great?" Phil asked with a wide smile, leaning against Dan's door frame.
"Mhm." Dan muttered into his sheets.
"What's wrong?" Phil asked, concern only filling half his voice.
"Nothing." Dan lied.
"Daniel, don't lie."
"I said nothing." Dan grumbled, obvious annoyance littering his voice.
"Now why are you upset?" Phil questioned softly.
"I'm not." Dan yelled, going to push past Phil.
"Calm the hell down." Phil yelled back.
"No, okay?" Dan tried to push past his older friend, but was once again held back, "Stop."
"You stop, you've been nothing but shitty this entire night."
"Oh like you've payed attention to me at all tonight." Dan huffed.
"So that's what this is about? You're jealous." Phil accused.
"Maybe I am."
"Oh my fucking God." Phil rolled his eyes, huffing slightly.
"We've hung out twice this summer, Phil, twice!" Dan roared back, finally letting his anger explode, "You told me you'd always pick me over some girl, and look how well that's worked out. Phil, I miss you. After this summer, you're a senior. You're going to leave me, and go to America, and what the hell am I going to do? I have one friend, and now all you're doing is blowing me off."
"Well I'm sorry I'm growing up. I'm sorry I don't have time for you anymore. I'm sorry I have an actual life."
"Phil." Dan quieted down, tears welling in his eyes, "You have been my only friend since I was a baby. I can't remember a time when you weren't around. And now you're almost gone. I miss you. I miss our pool days, and scooping out cute girls we'd never talk to. And I'm happy that you're in a relationship, I am. But you have to realise, soon you're going to graduate, and go to Harvard, and settle down, and move to, I don't know, York. And you're going to have a couple kids, and you're just going to forget about me slowly. Then, one day you'll come home, and find old pictures of us, and it's going to take you a minute to remember my name, and then you'll smile at all of our memories, but Phil." Dan choked, tears streaming from his brown, doe like eyes, "I don't want that. I want you to remember me always, Phil, I want to be your best friend forever. I just want to spend this last year with you." He whispered before bursting into sobs, his knees buckling beneath him.
Phil's heart practically shattered as he watched his best friend break down, "Dan, no, Dan." He whispered, rushing over to the brunette, "Shh. I'm sorry. Please, calm down."
That was just the thing, Dan couldn't calm down. His breathing became short and heavy, his body started trembling, and his face was soon drenched in sweat. His crying just became heavier, and Phil watched as his best friend of sixteen years looked as if he couldn't breathe.
"Dan, Dan." Phil tried to coo the boy, pulling him into a tight hug. He had watched Dan have panic attacks before, and they were the worst. He couldn't do anything to make the younger feel better. He had to just watch him tear himself up inside, "Dan, please listen," He whispered, knowing it wouldn't help, but hoping it might, "You did nothing wrong. I have been a dick this summer. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of it, Dan, please. I just want you to be happy, please, Dan, please." He muttered, pulling the brown-eyed boy closer.
Despite his hopes, Phil's cooing didn't help Dan at all. It actually made it worse, and the night went like that until Dan became too tired to continue, and fell asleep, tears still streaming down his face, his body still trembling, and his breathing still short. He felt cold to Phil, so he wrapped a blanket around the younger boy, keeping him still tight in his arms.
"I love you so much, Dan." Phil whispered to the sleeping boy, pulling him as close to his body as he could. Phil waited for Dan to calm down in his sleep before even closing his eyes. He tightened his grip on the younger boy. Like that, they fell asleep. Dan wrapped up in Phil's arms, protected from the world around them. If only that would remain the case for the rest of the days.
