Notes: From a prompt on the kmeme:

From this prompt on the kmeme: Mad idea that came to me while half asleep-
The screenwriter/s of the epic F&F was at the bar and saw Shakarian's tango(?) and has been inspired to write a a human/turian romance as their next project. As part of their research they want to interview Garrus, Shepard and some of the crew, huge fangirl that she is Tali threatens S/G with her shotgun if they don't do it.

I prefer Shakarian who were friends surprised by the depth of their feelings during their time apart but other than that go wild a!as.


Every fiber of Tali's being suggested annoyance.

"Keelah, save me from stubborn humans," Tali said, crossing her arms over her chest, tilting her head in a frown.

"That's stubborn Commander, to you," Shepard said with a laugh. She sat up and reached behind her, trying to adjust her pillow. Once Tali realized she was having trouble, she jumped up to help.

Shepard nodded her thanks and looked away. "It would take up too much time," she said, the excuse sounding flimsy on her tongue.

Tali looked around the hospital room slowly. "Because you have so many places to go."

"Quiet," Shepard said. "Therapy takes a lot of time. And you wouldn't believe the amount of Alliance bullshit I still have to deal with. And I'd like to spend more than five minutes at a time with Garrus."

"This is going to happen with or without your input. Wouldn't you like some say?" Tali said. There was a tinge of desperation in her voice that Shepard recognized.

"This would really make you happy, wouldn't it?" Shepard said slowly, realization dawning. Goodness knows out of all her friends, Tali deserved some joy. The young quarian had realized her feeling for Kal'Reeger just before Thessia, only to hear of his death. Thankfully, the reports had been premature, but he was still in bad shape. Not to mention on Palaven, with another six to eight months before the relays would be operational.

"Very," Tali said with a nod.

"Well, I guess I should be glad she's at least willing to talk to me. The last movie that got made about me had nothing right," Shepard said, resigned.

Tali clapped her hands together. "Keelah, the screenwriter of Fleet and Flotilla, here, talking to us. I can't believe it."

"Us? I thought you said the movie's about Garrus and me, because she saw us tango."

"It helps to have an outside perspective. And who better than me?" Tali demanded. "I wonder if they can get the same actor that played Bellicus to play Garrus."

Shepard wrinkled her nose. "His fringe is too short. Garrus has a much handsomer fringe."

"Always nice to be objectified," said a voice from the doorway.

Shepard smiled at the turian standing at the door. She patted the space next to her on the bed. Garrus walked over and leaned over, touching his brow to hers before he sat down. He casually took her hand, one of the many differences in their relationship now that the Reapers were gone. Before, they would never display any affection in public, but now, they always found some reason to touch each other, as if to remind themselves the other was truly there.

"Shepard's agreed to talk to the screenwriter," Tali said, practically bouncing in her chair. "I'm sure she'd love your viewpoint, too, Garrus…"

"Absolutely not," Garrus said, shaking his head. "If Shepard wants to talk to her, that's fine, but I am not talking about our relationship with a stranger."

"Would reminding you I still have a shotgun change your mind at all?" Tali asked, the picture of innocence.

Garrus flicked his mandibles, the equivalent of rolling his eyes.

"Bosh'tet. I wonder if my name will be in the credits," Tali said. "Maybe under special thanks."

"This is all your fault, you know," Shepard said, poking Garrus in the side, just above his waist, his scrumptious waist that she hadn't been able to really touch since before the battle on Earth. Damn Reapers and damn her injuries. "If you hadn't taken me out dancing, this woman would have no idea about us."

"And lose my bet with Jimmy that I could get you to really dance? Never," Garrus said, stroking her cheek with a gloved talon.

Shepard leaned into his touch and ran her hand over her scalp. The hair was just starting to grow back. Soon, there would be more than just peach fuzz on the top of her head. Soon, she reminded herself. It had only been four months since the Battle of Earth, and she had been in a coma for three of them. Healing wasn't going to happen overnight.

"So you'll set everything up, Tali?" Shepard asked.

Tali nodded happily and Shepard couldn't remember the last time she saw Tali so excited. The happiness she displayed after Rannoch was more subdued, solemn, almost. Now, she was simply radiated pure excitement.

"Leave everything to me."


Favia T'Lana entered the room as if expecting applause. Tali had told Shepard all about the screenwriter. A matron who had been married seven times, all to short lived races. After her last husband died, a salarian, she vowed never to love again and threw herself into her work. Fleet and Flotilla was just one of the many vids she had written.

She looked around the cramped hospital room with obvious displeasure. "Commander Shepard?"

"It's such an honor to meet you, Ms. T'Lana," Tali said, jumping up from the chair next to Shepard's bed.

"Tali'Zarah, isn't it?"

"Tali'Zorah, but you can call me whatever you like," Tali gushed. She gestured towards the bed. "This is Commander Shepard."

Shepard nodded. "Hello there."

Tali patted the plastic chair next to hers, an invitation for the asari to sit down. She did. Gingerly. "Surely someone such as yourself could get better accommodations than this?"

"There's really not a VIP section here in the hospital," Shepard said. "I've already got two guards at my door, setting me apart, I don't really need anything else."

"Humility. Not sure if that will translate on screen," Favia said with a sigh. "Well, let me take a look at you."

Shepard tried not to fidget as Favia looked her up and down, taking in every flaw. She wondered what the woman saw. Shepard knew she looked almost like a different person than that night in the bar. Then she had worn makeup and a form fitting dress, wanting to look her best for Garrus. That was before half her face was burned away, and scars from the Citadel explosion covered most her body.

She had never thought herself vain before, but looking at herself now, it was hard. Even with Garrus and his constant mutterings that he thought she was beautiful, that her scars were works of art, she had trouble believing it. If this woman, with her lavender facial tattoos and flowing dress, said anything trite about her appearance, the foundation of acceptance she and Garrus had worked so hard to build might start to crack.

Thankfully, all Favia said was, "You must be the strongest person in the galaxy."

Shepard let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "Lot of people out there had to endure a lot more than I did," Shepard told her.

Favia opened up her omni-tool and looked ready for business. "So there I was, waiting for a friend, when the music at the bar changed. I see a turian drag a human onto the dance floor. Their moves were tentative at first, but by the end, the dance was pure sex. Did you two even make it out of the casino before you jumped each other?"

Shepard felt her cheeks go red, remembering the quick detour to the men's washroom they took before hurrying back to the apartment.

"Let me guess, you had sex in the restroom," Tali said, shaking her head. "What is it with you two getting caught in bathrooms?"

"We didn't get caught… wait, you've never caught us," Shepard said, her hand going to her throat.

"Joker kept track," Tali said smugly. "Kaidan, Traynor and Donnelly all caught you at some point, right?"

"I'm not dignifying that with a response," Shepard said.

"So it's safe to say that you and Vakarian have a healthy sex life?" Favia asked.

"I thought this movie was supposed to be a young adult romance?" Shepard asked, sounding strained. "I would really prefer sex not being involved…"

"Just asking questions, getting to the heart of my characters," Favia said with a wave of her hand. "Now according to records, you two met during the investigation of Saren. Tell me what happened."

Shepard brightened, remembering the first time she saw Garrus. It's funny, how easily they could have missed each other and never met at all. What if Pallin had assigned another detective on the case, or if the elevator she had been in moved even slower?

There were times she missed that Garrus. He seemed so young and almost innocent then. During her darker hours chasing Saren and then the Collectors, she had wondered if she had done the right thing, bringing him along. Maybe his life would have been better if she had simply walked on by and not responded to him.

But then she would remind herself that that Garrus matured into her Garrus. Her Garrus could barter with the most important people in the galaxy and generals saluted and who she trusted more than any other being in the universe.

"Not very exciting, to be honest," Shepard admitted. "He was assigned to the Saren investigation, we met in the Council Tower and we talked about the case."

"That's it?"

"Well, we dealt with a hostage situation the second time we met," Shepard said, nodding.

"That's more like it," Favia said. She stood up and started pacing. "I can already picture it…"

"I know you're up to something," Officer Vakarian snarled, struggling with his bonds. He looked up at Saren Arterius and growled. "What are you hiding?"

Saren simply shook his head and laughed. "Your investigation is over, Garrus."

"His investigation is just beginning!"

Commander Shepard leapt into the room, holding her pistol. "Surrender, Saren. This doesn't have to be hard."

"Never!"

A smoke bomb went off and just like that, Saren disappeared. "Damnit," Shepard cried. "He's gone."

She looked over at the turian strapped to the chair. Their eyes met and Shepard knew her life would never be the same…

Shepard coughed. "That's not really the way it went down," she said.

"Creative license," Favia said with a shrug. "People are calling your relationship the love story of the war. You think the idea that you simply walked up to him and introduced yourself to him will sell tickets? How am I supposed to work with that?"

"I like it," Tali said.

"Then why are we even talking?" Shepard asked, leaning back into the pile of pillows on her bed. "Write whatever you want."

"The way Shepard and I met was much more exciting," Tali told Favia. "Guns and assassins were involved."

"How did the romance actually start?" Favia said, ignoring Tali completely.

"I think the romance and the relationship started at different times, to be honest," Shepard admitted.

"Because you were both clueless," Tali said. "The entire ship knew you two were in love with each other but neither one of you realized it."

"We did eventually."

"All it took was being separated for six months and you both thinking the other was dead," Tali said, arms crossed.

Favia perked up. "What's this? About being dead?"

"We were about to go through the Omega-4 relay. Probably a one way trip. Shepard and Garrus started sleeping together, telling themselves that it was just friendship. The bosh'tets."

"Then what happened?" Favia asked.

"Well-" Shepard started to respond, but Favia waved her hand.

"I'd like to hear Tali'Zorah's side of the story."

Tali positively beamed. "About two weeks after the suicide mission, Shepard turns herself into the Alliance. Garrus goes to Palaven. Six months later, the Reapers hit. Garrus thought Shepard has dead, Shepard thought Garrus was dead. And that's when they both actually realized they were in love with each other all along."

"Now that I can work with," Favia said excitedly. She rubbed her palms together. "Shepard, can you give me any more details?"

Shepard turned her head to the side, away from Favia and Tali and looked out the small window. The three days she was convinced that Garrus was dead were among the worst three of her life. She had been in Huerta Memorial, talking to Doctor Chakwas, when she heard the news that Palaven had been hit by the Reapers. Karin had to put her hand on Shepard's shoulder to steady her.

"Tali pretty much nailed it on the head," Shepard said weakly. "We found each other on Menae when I went to rescue the Primarch of Palaven."

"I can just picture it," Favia said, her voice taking on a dreamy quality.

Shepard stared at Palaven, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "Oh, Garrus, I was such a fool…"

"We've got a brute over here!"

Shepard turned and ran towards the brute, her pistol in hand. Incineration tech burst out of her omni-tool while she unloaded her gun. Other turian soldiers fought on the opposite side of the brute.

After a minute's fight, the brute went down. Shepard put her hands on her knees to catch her breath. She looked over at the other soldiers and her heart stopped.

"Garrus?"

At the sound of his name, Garrus turned around. Their eyes met. "Shepard!"

It only took a few steps before they were in each other's arms…

Favia tapped her chin thoughtfully with her finger. "Kiss or forehead touch?"

"Excuse me?" Shepard asked.

"I was married to a turian three centuries ago, so I know the drill. Do you two prefer kissing or nuzzling?"

"Is that important?"

"Very."

Closing her eyes, Shepard said, "If we're saying hello or goodbye or something like that we touch brows. But that's beside the point. We didn't kiss or nuzzle or touch or do anything on Menae."

"Really?" Favia said with a snort.

"We were on duty," Shepard said. "We shook hands. That's it. Reunioning was later. In private."

"A handshake," Favia said. "Commander, I can't-"

"Work with that?" Shepard finished for the asari. "I'm getting the idea."

"What about Omega?" Tali said suddenly. "Arch-"

"Tali," Shepard said, sounding every bit of Commander Shepard. While Aria assured Shepard that any bounty on Archangel the three merc bands had would disappear, now that they were under her control, she didn't want to tempt fate. The less number of people that could connect Garrus to Archangel the better. And putting that fact into a movie would be disastrous.

Tali seemed to realize she overstepped. "Sorry, Shepard."

Shepard took one of Tali's hands and gave it a squeeze. No harm done.

Favia seemed ready to move on. "What about the first time you two were together, if that was before you realized your feelings?"

Tali patted Shepard's hand. "I've got this." She held up one finger on each hand. "Oh Shepard, I'm so stressed," she said in a deep voice, making her finger move to each word.

"Tali…"

The other finger started moving. Tali's voice became high pitched. "Oh Garrus, I can help you unwind!" Tali smushed her two fingers together while making kissing noises. "And that's exactly what happened."

Shepard couldn't help but laugh. "Sadly, that's not far off from the truth."

"So you were friends with benefits first?" Shepard nodded.

Favia pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered, "How am I supposed to work with that?"

Shepard shrugged. "Even soldiers need benefits, I guess."

"We need more drama," Favia declared, slapping her thigh. "What did you two fight about?"

"Not much, to be honest," Shepard told her. They certainly disagreed about things, but generally agreed not to waste their limited time together fighting. Something that Shepard was a tad nervous about going forward. There would be time to argue. And they were both stubborn, stubborn beings.

"Liar," Tali said.

"Oh?"

"I was there before you left for Omega."

Shepard groaned, remembering the one time she had to dress down Garrus in front of some of the crew. By then he was no longer just someone under her command, she considered him her equal in all things. But at the end of the day, it was her ship, and her command. Shepard never minded when they talked about her decisions in private, but when he wouldn't let go and crew overheard?

The worst part was she had understood his fears. Hell, she had shared them. Garrus still dreamt about the place, even though he pretended he didn't. There were ghosts there that might never stop haunting him. And she was about to go into the fire with no backup other than Aria. If he said those same words behind closed doors, Shepard wouldn't have blinked an eye. But in the mess…

"Okay, so we argued once or twice," Shepard said.

Favia stretched her arms over her head. "That's not the right angle," she said. Her eyes lit up. "A love triangle. Everyone loves a love triangle!"

"But…" Shepard's brow furrowed. "There was no love triangle."

Next to her, Tali discreetly coughed.

"Something to add, Tali?" Favia said knowingly, crossing her legs.

"Tali! There was no love triangle," Shepard said, her eyes wide. "You know that, right? There's been no one I've even thought of other than Garrus since he and I met. And I'm pretty sure it's the same for Garrus."

"Sure, siha, if you say so, Lola," Tali said with a laugh. "What she's not telling you, Ms. T'Lana is at any given time, half her squad was enamored with her."

"Does that include yourself?" Favia asked. "Do tell."

Tali froze and Shepard could see the quarian's eyes grow wide, even behind her mask. Shepard looked down at her hands, remembering when Tali had told her she would have linked suits with her. At the time, Shepard had idly wondered if that was Tali's way of trying to tell her something. But Tali never brought it up again, so Shepard had taken the words at face value.

Thankfully Tali was spared the embarrassment of answering. "No, that wouldn't work, too close to Fleet and Flotilla. Hmm… maybe an asari. You had an asari on your crew, Dr. T'Soni, right? That could work nicely. But I think the triangle should be on Garrus' side. I can already picture it."

A small blue hand was on his shoulder. "Left alone again, Garrus?"

"Shepard's got a war to win," Garrus said, throwing back the rest of his brandy.

Liara sat next to him, a little closer than he was comfortable with. Garrus started to move, but Liara brought her hand up to his neck. His eyes closed on reflex, but he forced them open when he forced himself to remember those where not Shepard's hands.

"War doesn't matter if you completely lose track of the important things in life," Liara said breathlessly. "Which I think she has."

Garrus took her hand. "I appreciate the sentiment, Liara, but I'm not interested."

She leaned forward, directly into his personal space. "You're so tense, Garrus. I just want to help…"

"Garrus?"

"Shepard!" He winced at the confused look on her face.

Liara gave him one last sultry look before uncrossing her legs and standing up. "I was just leaving anyway. Remember what I said, Garrus…

"No," Tali and Shepard said at the same time.

"I have to add drama somehow," Favia said, throwing up her hands in frustration. "You've given me nothing to work with!"

Tali stood up, hands on her hips. "Nothing to work with? This is the story of two brave, beautiful people who risked everything to save the galaxy! They fell in love even when everything was crumbling around them, waking up, thinking every day was going to be their last. How is that not enough to work with?"

"Where's the fire, the drama? I need the story behind the people I saw tangoing, not two soldiers," Favia said, nose in the air.

"Drama? Try the look on Garrus' face when he thought he was about to watch her die. Again. Like his world had shattered, and he knew he had no choice except to walk through the pieces." Tali was radiating complete and total anger now. "And Shepard had the weight of the entire galaxy on her shoulders, but all it took was one kiss from him when they thought no one was looking and she was ready to fight again."

"Those are very nice thoughts, Tali'Zorah, but they don't make a screenplay-"

"If you can't work with that, then…" Tali took a deep breath and faced Favia head on. "Then you aren't the same writer who created Bellicus and Shalai."

Favia's omni-tool interface shut quickly. "I suppose we're done. I'm not going to stay here and be insulted," she said snidely. "Thank you for time, Commander, I hope you have a speedy recovery."

She stood and turned around without a backwards glance. A moment later, and she was gone.

Shepard blinked quickly. "Tali, I'm so sorry…"

Tali waved away the apology. "Perfect love story right in front of her face and she couldn't see it. When you two saw each other again for the first time after the Reapers were gone... Would have been even better than the balcony scene."

Shepard could hear Tali breathing behind her mask. And possibly crying softly. "Tali…"

"I miss Kal'Reegar, Shepard. We write, but it's not the same. I miss him so much."

"Another six months, Tali, then you'll be able to work on your own love story."

"I've never been good at being patient," Tali sighed.

Silence settled over the room. Shepard's heart wrenched as she watched Tali wrap her arms around herself. She had to do something. "Want to watch Fleet and Flotilla?"

Tali crocked her head, considering. "Sing-along version?"

Shepard patted the space next to her while powering up her omni-tool. Tali hopped into the bed and rested her head on Shepard's shoulder. "As if there's any other version."


Later that evening, Favia came back to the hospital. She thought perhaps she could get more information from Shepard if that bothersome quarian wasn't there.

Shepard's door was open and Favia peaked inside. There Shepard was, sitting up. Next to her was Garrus, holding her hand.

Favia's breath hitched as she watched Garrus lean forward and whisper something in Shepard's ear as he stroked her cheek. Shepard caught his hand and gently kissed the inside of his wrist.

The love and trust between them was patently obvious. Two war weary soldiers who had become entangled in each other's hearts and souls. She tried to imagine living each day, knowing there was a chance you would lose the one you love, but still able to find the time to dance.

Favia took one last glance at the couple before walking away, letting them have their privacy. A familiar spark, which led to one idea cascading after another, appeared and she smiled.

She knew she could work with that.