Author's Note: No sorry, no, just no, even though I really wish it were true, it's not, it's just not, I'm not the amazing brilliant Suzanne Collins. However, I am trying to write a good fanfiction as well as my thirteen year old self can, so don't I get points for that? Anyway thanks so much to anyone who bothered reading and reviewing!
Right Before I Open My Eyes
I look down, onto a meadow
Bright flowers, red, blue and yellow, primroses and katniss
Never ending happiness, a perfect world,
Everything I've ever yearned for
Here
The light fades, as if it were a candle
Slowly being doused
It's pitch black
No, not black,
There's a light getting brighter, brighter, brighter
I'm in the sea, in the storm
The water rumbles, roars, rages,
Penance, Penance, Penance, It says
Pay for what you have done
I'm frozen silent, Maybe I should pay
Pay for what I did to her
Just stop trying, just leave
The arms of the sea drag me down, pull with all their might
I can't hold on, I'm drowning
Sinking, Flailing,
Wait, no, I see the light again
But brighter, hotter, searing
Then she comes, with a smile on her face
A look of pure Joy
It was like a slap in the face
Is she happy? Happy I'll be gone,
That I'm getting what I deserve?
That I'm finally paying for what I did?
Letting her take my place, not being brave, abandoning her to the Capitol?
But I'm wrong though, so wrong
Katniss hold her hands, first the right then the left
And I take them, relived
She pulls and I think safe, finally safe
Safe, in the horror of the nightmare
Then I see it,see everything
Her pale deathly white hand reaching in to the bowl
Her fingers twitching like a dying spider
Searching until she finds the name she wants,
The person she wants to condemn,
Me
She plucks out the white slip
My death sentence
She raises the name to eye level
Everyone falls silent, most fear, some dread, others anticipation,
Ignorant of the lives at stake, or too selfish to care
Only interested in winning their precious bets
'Primrose Everdeen' She announces
The name rings, echoes, constantly thrashing inside my head
Never before had I thought my name would fill me with such pounding fear, terror
I'm frozen not only with fear, I realize but shock, disbelief, numbness
But I move, walk forward, one foot in front of the other
One step, two steps, three, four
Then they shake, I promised I wouldn't show I was scared
That I'd keep in all in
That I'd be brave, like Katniss,
But my legs shake, as I comprehend that I walk to my death
"I volunteer" someone yells, upon seeing my fear
Without turning around I know who it is
"I volunteer as tribute"
I know what I just condemned my sister too,
I know because I wasn't brave, or strong,
Nothing like Katniss
Penance, they chant, Penance
Pay for what you have done
I feel it all, the panic
The confusion
The look of the lost without hope
The same look on my face, on Gale's, on mom's
On Katniss
And worst of all, the silence that comes from knowing what I've done,
The vast darkness of being alone
Knowing that it's all my fault
The guilt
"Katniss I'm sorry"
I open my eyes, to see the fire, to see the pain,
To feel the searing heat engulf me drown me
To stare into the eyes of Katniss, still trying to save me
Always trying to save me
But no Katniss, you can't help me this time
I open my eyes, to see my end
Remember that life binding promise you made to review, right when you clicked on this story. You don't remember? Really? Well maybe you should review anyway. Just in case. Y'know to make sure Peacekeepers don't come after you (;
