"Hmm…this place is deader than we are. I need something to liven up this place. How about entertainment! Oh, gofer I have another c- …oh."

He glances over at the skeleton of the previous person that was unlucky enough to wander into his domain. Maybe he shouldn't have popped his head off like a cork to finely aged wine once he was done with him. Surely, he could use that hat kid…no wait, she already left and is light years away from this planet. And everyone has heard the rumors of shadow creatures of the ominous forest killing anyone who wanders in. Little cycloptic midgets luring people into their traps, strange masked spirits that can access another dimension, a decrepit shadow demon that ices anyone who dares enter her home and of course, himself. The contract killer himself, the Snatcher!

"Hey boss, do you have any mail for us today?"

"No, I already filched every mailbox in the surrounding area, they're all empty."

The minion leaves his boss to ruminate on this contractor deficit problem.

"No one blindly wanders into here anymore! I need some poor sod to do my bidding! These minions are already busy monitoring the forest and spying on that…creature in the manor. What was it that one of the previous contractors said?"

Flashback to the semi recent time of 2017.


"I'm Jonas Kaerlev, the creator of A Hat in Time."

"I don't care who you are, you are now my puppet since you trespassed into my domain."

The Snatcher materializes a contract from thin air.

"Sign it or die."

Jonas looks at the contract and edits it.

"Here's my counteroffer, Snatcher."

"How do you know who I am?"

"Easy, I made you."

"No, you didn't."

"This area, it's Subcon Forest, the 3rd (formerly 2nd) level of my game. There are still fire spirts around, aren't there? I made them, too. I've made this entire world!"

"Don't get too arrogant with powers beyond your control, mortal. After all, you have no power here."

Snatcher looks at the edited contract.

"I feature you in my game and you don't kill me."

"Nope."

Snatcher gets ready to kill him, but Jonas reveals one last thing about Snatcher.

"This place is called Subcon Forest for a reason, you know. Anyone who sees this place…well, you can access their brains remotely, so long as they've seen your domain."

"Anyone who steps here will be punished accordingly."

"Who says that they need to be here, they just need to see here."

"Enough of this."

He kills Jonas by striking him with a column of flame as the flashback burns away.

"Remote memory access, huh? Well, let's see who our next contractor will be."

Considering he has over approximately 2 million people to choose from, it's going to keep Snatcher very busy doing nothing!


Meanwhile, in a different world…

"Wait up, kid. Remember how the old contractor had his head pop off? That wasn't a coincidence. It popped off the moment he stopped being useful to me. And guess who else just became obsolete? That's right, you! Now that that possessed outhouse isn't bothering me anymore, and all those contracts of yours are tidied away…I don't need you around. Besides, you didn't think I was going to let you keep all these time pieces, did you? They fell into my forest, kid! They belong to me. Time you saw what I'm really capable of, kid. Say goodbye to that little head of yours!"

The battle goes how we all expect it to go. This is a video game after all, and with minimal difficulty, the player manages to beat it and reclaim Act 3-6's Time Piece. Unbeknownst to them, they have a fan watching.

"Lincoln, can you stop playing that game and help me?"

Several alarm bells ring in the Snatcher's head from just this one sentence. Lincoln plus game plus help plus people equals contract. I think we have a winner here! But just to be sure, he'll see through this "Lincoln's" eyes a bit more for reconnaissance purposes.

Lincoln gets into Vanzilla with the rest of his sisters for yet another boring school day. At least this is the last day before spring break! Snatcher looks around the barely running piece of junk and sees a lot of people inside.

"Geeze, how many sisters does this kid have?! We have our winner! I think my minions will be entertained with a short 10-episode series! Now to enact my plan…"

After an uneventful and soul-stealing school day (how dare they steal Snatcher's job) the family heads to sleep. In Lincoln's dream, he appears to be at the entrance to Subcon Forest. Just like in the game, a minion taunts him to come closer but Lincoln know it's a trap. Snatcher expected this, so he just captures Lincoln immediately.


"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

"You blew it! You totally screwed yourself! Nobody enters my home and leaves in one piece! Tell you what though! Hang on a minute! You get to live! That's right! Aren't you lucky?! Normally, I'd just eat your soul and toss your body, but I happen to need a braindead servant! My minions need entertainment, and that's where you come in! I have 10 episodes for you to fill…but I suppose I'll give you a tutorial to show you how these sorts of things work, so come on, sign it!"

Snatcher materializes one contract. It is written in a phantasmagorical font, where you can't tell whether or not the font is upper or lowercase. This one has Lily's picture on it.

"THE CONFUSING CONTRACT"

Snatcher will hold your soul as collateral until all contracts are completed.

"There's nothing here; And I'm not giving you my soul."

"Come on, there's no need to make this difficult, sign the contract."

"No."

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear, you don't get a say in the matter. Now sign it or I make your lifeless corpse sign it!"

"No."

"Last chance! Sign it!"

Lincoln signs it with some sort of neurological essence. Snatcher takes his collateral.

"So, since there's nothing on here, that means the contract is already complete, right?"

CONTRACT COMPLETE!

"Nope! You didn't think it would be that easy, would you, kid?! These are a new type of contract that I created, the stipulator contract! See, you aren't working for me, I'm just the guy who takes your soul when you fail. Until the contract's completed, she's your new boss!"

"Wait, so I'm working for Lily?"

"Whatever her name is, yes! Oh, and if you tell anyone about our deals, you die instantly and I keep your soul forever! It's a win for everyone except you, isn't it great! Our business here is concluded…for now."

Lincoln wakes up the next day. Some weird noodly thing will kill him if he doesn't finish the contract that doesn't have anything on it? Well, whatever? He might as well get it over with. He goes over to Lily's crib and plays with her. The contract starts filling in his obligations. Although they all say "poo poo". He doesn't know what he did or how he did it, but after about 30 minutes of frustration, he managed to complete it. Heck, even Snatcher doesn't know what Lily's obligations are!

CONTRACT COMPLETE!


Ignoring the chaos of the Loud House and skipping to the next night. Lincoln goes to sleep and awakes in Snatcher's arena, surrounded by the 9 other contracts.

"Congratulations, for a pilot episode, seeing your comedy of errors was amusing for us. Now, pick another one. This is a freebie, the other contracts you'll have to find on your own."

Lincoln looks over all of the contracts.

"Well, did you find one?"

I choose…this one.

"Doing them in order, huh? Ok kid. I'm sure this will be an explosive episode!"