I'm Baaaaackk! Standard disclaimers apply. Requested/inspired by the tumblr prompt circulating on various fan pages. Enjoy :)

Dean's Dirty Prayers

It was all the apocalypse's fault.

The first time it was their last night on Earth, Dean took him to a strip club.

The second time it was their last night on Earth, he and Dean had stared at each other intently for a long while before the angel flew away to sit by himself atop Mount Kilimanjaro until morning.

By the third time it was their last night on Earth, the phrase was seriously losing its power, and tensions between the two men were boiling over. Suffice to say, Dean's initial evaluation was correct—Cas was not dying a virgin on his watch.

Now the archangels were gone—dead or in the cage—and Heaven was in shambles. Cas was trying to negotiate where he could, but there was a lot more fighting than he would have liked.

The only thing keeping him sane was Dean.

His Righteous Man.

Their bond was continually gaining strength and depth; every time Cas touched Dean, a pathway between the hunter's soul and the angel's grace opened up just a bit more. Nervously Cas had warned the blond about the deepening connection. He'd expected anger, denial, and copious amounts of alcohol to follow; instead Dean had just kissed him again.

Now, eight months later, their bond was so profound they could use prayer as a two-way method of communication.

Which led to the reason Castiel was sitting here placing blame in the first place….

He was in the middle of a very important negotiation, one that might well shape Heaven's future for the foreseeable ever, and Dean wouldn't shut up.

Not only wouldn't shut up. Was, apparently, craving intercourse. 'Horny' the human called it, though Cas couldn't quite determine why. After all, Dean's erect phallus little resembled a horn. Perhaps he could ask one of his more worldly brothers—Balthazar, maybe?—for clarification.

Please, Cas, I miss you. Come back as soon as you can,Dean was praying.

Yes, that can be arranged, Castiel began to assure, but was cut off.

I'm aching for you. Want you in me. I'm ready for you—laid out on the bed.

A mental image flashed into Castiel's mind. Dean really was splayed out across their bed, cock heavy against his thigh and the end of a wide blue plug visible between his cheeks. Apparently the human was *incentivizing* Cas to visit by staring himself down in the mirror on the closet door and sending the image through prayer. Wow, wow, Dean, Castiel sucked in a breath.

You like that?At this point Dean would be smirking. Don't know how long I can wait before I start touching myself. Better show up soon or you'll miss all the fun.

Um, Dean, babe … I'm at Heaven work, okay? Cas tried to remind his boyfriend gently. He chanced a glance around at his brothers and sisters taking part in the negotiations next to him. The way their eyes slid to the ground when he looked at them, he knew he was doing a poor job keeping the prayer chain from projecting onto angel radio. He forced a stronger barrier up in his mind; he didn't want them listening in any more than they wanted to be hearing that.

I know you're in Heaven, and don't let me interrupt,Dean's voice once again distracted him. In a meeting, right? Well, meetings suck, so I thought I'd do you a favor. And speaking of suck, is it okay if that's the first thing I do when you get back? My mouth is watering for you—You'll get your welcome home kiss after, and you'll be able to taste—

Thanks for the boner, Dean.

Or I could open you up with my tongue, work you from the inside and the outside at the same time.

Great, now I have to sit out the rest of this angel meeting thinking about your tongue up—

I'm just trying to help you be less stressed! Dean insisted. And I know for a fact that you can't stay stressed when—

Dean, seriously!

So you don't want to pound into my ass? Because if that's how you feel, I can break out the new toys I bought and take care of myself right now. The pout was almost audible.

Stop, Dean. Oh, my Father. Several of the angels were glaring at Cas now, and he knew he wasn't hiding his thoughts any better than he was hiding the obvious tent in his trousers. He shifted uncomfortably, fighting the urge to either (a) fly off mid-negotiation to join Dean or (b) bury his face in his hands in mortification.

Well, Dean was grumbling now, if you want me to stop, I will. I was just wondering if you wanted to try out my new toy while you fucked me tonight. After I rim you until you start babbling Enochian. Won't take long, I'm sure; you're always so responsive. The toy will make it better than usual, I promise. Dean's voice was undoubtedly accompanied by a shit-eating grin, even if Cas couldn't see it. It was also accompanied by a soft buzzing sound, and a moment later, a pleasured groan.

Um, okay, the angel agreed, giving up any hope of following the train of conversation in front of him.

Yes? You want to try it out? The victorious tone would have rankled, had the brunet not already been too gone to care.

Yes, I would like to try that, whatever that is….

Good. See you when you get home, Dean promised. And have a good meeting.